


Fresh Prince of SunnyHell

by TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Soap Opera, Spander - Freeform, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teen drinking/smoking, Teen!Spike, teen drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2020-10-04 15:18:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 48,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20473181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone/pseuds/TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone
Summary: William is the adopted son of Angelus and Darla Aurelius but since the divorce he's been acting out and has used up all his father's patience so it's time for a change of scenery.





	1. Bit of a Misstep

**Author's Note:**

> Now, this is a story all about how  
Spike's life got fucked up-turned upside down  
And I'd like to take a minute  
Just sit right there  
I'll tell you how he became the prince of a town called Sunnydale!
> 
> More or less an excuse to write BTVS teen!AU with Spike.

“Sir?”

Angelus 'Angel' Aurelius, Senior Partner at Wolfram & Hart law offices, looked up from the paperwork he was sweating over to glance at his receptionist, Harmony, “What is it? Little busy at the moment.”

“Well for starters, you have people who could totally do that for you.” Harmony rolled her eyes, “but there’s a phone call for you on line two and it’s about William.”

Angel, sighed heavily and he glanced at his phone, the light for line two blinking insistently at him, “ . . . right . . . thanks.” He waited until she left before picking up the receiver, “Hello, Angelus Aurelius speaking.”

“Mr. Aurelius, this is Principal Waters, I’m calling to inform you that we are taking action to expel William, there was an incident of him lighting several lockers on fire during lunch. We’ll need someone to come pick him up. You will receive a notice of the expulsion hearing in the next day or so."

Angel blinked then slowly sighed, "thank you for calling me, I'll have him.picked up." After hanging up, angel stood, smoothed his shirt and stalked out of his office at his branch of Wolfram and Hart International Law Firm and went to the front desk where Harmony was rearranging her unicorn figurines.

"Hey, Harm, uh I'm gonna be out the rest of the day so-"

"Blondie bear got expelled again, huh?" Harmony asked not even looking up.

Angel sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose, "just… hold my calls and rearrange my meetings okay?"

"You got it, boss." She blinked up at him then grimaced, "sorry, you know we all like Will, he's a good kid."

"Yeah well that 'good kid' lit five gym lockers on fire and got the school evacuated." Angel muttered and headed to the elevator.

* * *

Angel's Lamborghini pulled up to the school where the parking lot was oddly empty, he slowly got out and headed to the front door where he could hear yelling.

William was sitting in a chair next to the Superintendent's office with a police officer next to him. Angel sighed heavily at the sight of the fifteen year old delinquent wearing that much-too-large black, leather duster he'd gotten from some secondhand shop, heavy leather boots, a torn up pair of jeans, black shirt, painted nails and bleached blonde hair slicked back, the look completed with eyebrow, lip and too many ear piercings that, to this day, Angel couldn't remember when they'd all started popping up. Angel blinked at the boy, but William seemed determined to stare a hole through the wall and ignored angel.

"Mr. Aurelius?"

Angel looked over to see middle-aged man in a suit and tie giving him a tired, withering look, Principal Water.

"Uh, yes, yes, I'll just sign him out and-"

"Just go." Mr. Waters said, his voice brittle and icy.

William jumped to his feet, "Been lovely, ta!" He had somehow maintained his cockney accent even after living in the states for over four years.

Angel looked between the officer and the principal as the teen strutted toward the door, he quickly turned to leave when Mr. Waters grabbed his arm, "that spoiled brat isn't going to amount to anything if you don't step it up! Mark my words that boy is going to rot in a prison cell and good riddance!"

Angel saw William stop at the door and the brunette wrenched his arm out of the older man's grasp, glaring at him, "thanks for the advice. Good day." Then he stalked towards the door, putting his hand on William's shoulder only for it to get shrugged off and William shoved out the door.

They were almost to the car when William stopped and sighed "alright, let's have it then."

Angel unlocked the car and frowned, "have what?"

William rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, "the lecture. C’mon let's have it, one'a Dad’s greatest hits maybe? Ya came yaself so I know ya got one doozy of a lecture geared up."

"William-"

"I's 'Spike'." Spike muttered impatiently.

"_ William, _get in the car and let's go home." Angel said tiredly and slid into the driver's seat. He didn't say anything when Spike got in and put his feet up on the dash or when he fiddled with the window too much. Angel caught himself in the mirror and almost groaned, his hair was graying at the temples… he was starting to look his age.

Spike looked at Angel and snorted, "Wot? Nothing ta say? Thought fer sure ya'd want ta chew me a new one. Not even a little 'is juvie wot ya want?' Or ''m so disappointed in ya' or my personal favorite 'what am I gonna do with ya?'."

"Sounds like you've heard them all already." Angel muttered, eyes forward.

"Suppose I have." Spike sneered and slumped lower in his seat. Angel pulled into the private parking and got out, he went to the elevator and hit the call button without a word. Spike was so unnerved by this reaction that he had to scramble to catch up then bounced on his heels as they waited. He looked up at his father and fidgeted, "...ya not gonna say anythin’? Nuthin’ at all?"

"Nope. I was waiting to see how long it would take you to get kicked out of another school. That's what, four this year? At this rate you'll have no choice but homeschooling since there's no private school that'll take you with your record now and besides that, your grades have fallen so far that there’d be no hope of you having a GPA high enough to qualify for any. And all the public schools in the county worth half a damn have expelled you. I'm actually impressed with your dedication to destroying your own life and inconveniencing me and your mom."

Spike faltered and his brow knit together in confusion, "wot're ya on about?"

"Well I have frankly run out of ideas so I give up, whatever the hell it is you want from me it's yours." Angel muttered, "run wild in the streets for all I care at this point but I want you to know that if they press charges, you're going to serve that time. I'm done cleaning up your messes and covering your ass."

Spike blinked, he sucked on his lip ring and shifted, "th-that roight?"

"Yeah," Angel stepped into the lift and hit the penthouse button, "that's right. You wanna fuck up your life, fine I'm just not funding it anymore. I dont know what the fuck is going on or why since you are also determined to keep me guessing so I'm done trying to wrestle syllables out of you." He held the door then gestured for Spike to get in when he just stood there, rooted to the spot.

Spike slowly looked at Angel and shuffled in, his one-or-two-sizes-too-big Doc Martens clunked on the floor until he stopped next to Angel, shifting and looking anxiously at his dad, "Ya serious?"

"Yep." 

Spike stared at Angel, he tilted his head back then smirked, "''bout bloody time. Thought ya'd never cave." Angel didn't even twitch and the rest of the ride up the giant building was uncomfortably silent until there was a pleasant chime and they stepped out. Spike patted his pockets down in search of his cigarettes, intent on having a quick smoke before blowing off the rest of his afternoon down with some pals, but he stopped when Angel shoved past him and went into the teen’s room directly, "H-Hey, wot ya doin' in my room?" He pushed the door open when Angel didn't hold it and came upon him shoving things in a duffel, "Oi!"

"I said I'm done! You want to fuck up then go do it somewhere else!" Angel shouted, shoving more clothes in the bag, "you're not using up my money, trashing my cars and making me use your inheritance on legal fees to bail your sorry ass out when you get inevitably caught!"

Spikes stomach clenched and he felt the need to hug himself but refrained, "ya kickin' me out?"

"Yup." Angel snapped, "I'm calling your mother and if she wants to deal with you, she can but I can't do it anymore."

"Deal with me?" Spike blinked a few times, his eyes stung a bit, "wot’s that supposed ta mean? I'm your kid!"

"Yes, William, you are my son and I love you dearly but I'm all wrung out," Angel stopped and swallowed thickly, "I don't know what else to do or say anymore. I've tried everything I know so maybe you need to go somewhere more suited to you."

Spike’s heart slipped down the rest of the way to his shoes and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the tears back, "...ya can' give me back-"

Angel laughed shortly, "I'm not returning you to foster care, William, I just don't want you here right now."

"Wot the fuck is the difference?" Spike demanded, stomping into the room and taking the clothes back out of the bag, throwing them on the floor, "you did it with Mum, why should I-"

"I did _ not _ kick your mom out, William, we got a divorce!" Angel snapped then he shook his head, "is that what this is all about? The divorce? William, we've talked about this!"

"Talked?" Spike emptied the bag the rest of the way and chucked it into a corner, "the most we 'talked' was one minute we're all fine an' the next Mum an’ Dru are packin’ their bags and goin' back ta England!"

"Will, that was a long time coming, we just didn't want you kids to be in the middle, I know we told you that!" Angel reached out to Spike but the blonde ducked away, "neither of us wanted to take you away from the other, I promise, but-"

"But it didn matter what we wanted!" Spike shouted, he had to really bite down on his tongue to keep from crying, "so glad yer happy never seein’ Mum again but 'm-"

"You think I'm happy about all this?" Angel threw up his hands in exasperation, "Nine and a half months in, William, and my fucking hair is turning gray and I'm not sleeping and now I have to deal with a deliquent getting kicked out of every school I put him in! I miss my daughter and my marriage fell apart! What do you _ want _ from me?"

"I want my family back!" Spike shouted, hitting the wall and now the tears started to spill down his cheeks, too angry and upset to stop them.

Angel blinked then sighed, "Will…"

"I only get to see Mum an' Dru twice a year an' Penn moved ta New York an'... " Spike kicked at his bed weakly, sniffling, "... i's all busted up now…"

"Will," Angel moved closer, reaching out to run a hand over the thin boy's shoulders, "sweetheart, the twice a year bit is just part of the custody agreement, you can go see Mom and your sister whenever you want and as for Penn, he's just doing his internship in New York, he’ll visit soon."

Spike shifted and wiped at his face with his jacket sleeve, "... yeah well…" he let Angel come closer to hug him but he didn't hug back just so Angel would know he was still upset with him.

"I know being stuck with me is a fate worse than death but I didn't think we got on so badly?" Angel murmured, rubbing Spike's back. 

Spike pulled out of the hug after the allotted five seconds he was willing to give then shrugged, "no yer not so bad… for a stuffy old man."

"Alright, thin ice there, kiddo," Angel cocked an eyebrow, then he sat on the bed, looking around at the clothes strewn about, "so are you maybe going to behave?"

Spike shifted, his eyes lowering, "'m… 'm sorry I lit those bastards' lockers on fire."

"You're lucky they are not pressing charges, as far as we know anyway," Angel cocked an eyebrow, "and apologies work best when you don't make the wounded party sound like they deserved it."

"But they did! Asshole bullies always pickin’ on other kids an' shit!" Spike muttered, sitting down on the bed next to Angel.

"Vigilante justice is illegal for a reason, kiddo." Angel scolded, but Spike could see he was trying not to smile.

“Still.” Spike shrugged, kicking his boots off and dropping his jacket on the floor, “So . . . now wot?”

“ . . . I don’t know.” Angel sighed, looking at Spike, “I have to find another school for you, but what’s the point if you’re just going to sabotage it all?” He fixed Spike with a pointed look.

Spike stared at his hands, his ears reddened guiltily, “Well . . . “

“I’m thinking this city is a bad influence for you,” Angel said, cocking an eyebrow, “So maybe we need to move.”

“Move?” Spike’s eyes widened, “But all my mates are here!”

“Mates I’ve caught you drinking, smoking and getting picked up by the police with.” Angel frowned, standing up, “I’m not fucking around this time, William, this is your_ last chance _ before I ship your ass to military school. You’re smart, ambitious and talented and I’ll be damned if you squander it on my dollar.”

“I-” Spike shifted on the bed, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged and stared down at his hands, “Shouldn’ ya say ya’ll send me ta live with me mum?”

“If you think I’m dumping this on Darla, you’re insane. Your mother does _ not _ deserve this.” Angel narrowed his eyes making Spike squirm, “Also she’s as much a hard-ass as I am so keep dreaming.”

Spike’s lip pouted and he swallowed, “ . . . she’d probably wouldn’ wanna deal with me anyway.”

Angel’s expression softened and he squatted down in front of Spike, “Let’s make a deal, alright? We find somewhere to start over, you go to school and _ stay _in school until the end of the year and I’ll arrange you to go stay with your mom and sister for the summer.”

Spike looked up and he smiled, “R-Really, Dad?”

“Yeah, but you have to keep your end of the deal. No acting up, no detention, do your work and stay out of trouble. Oh and one more thing,” He stood and held his hand out, his fingers twitching slightly, “Hand ‘em over.”

Spike blinked, frowning, “Wot?”

“Cigarettes and _ all _your lighters. And no more drinking either. I don't know who is buying you all this stuff but it ends today.” Angel shook his hand a bit insistently.

“B-But Dad, I don' even smoke that much!” Spike shifted, his eyes darting to the duster where half a crumpled pack of Marlboro Black waited for him and at least a dozen lighters hidden throughout the article of clothing.

“I don't care, you shouldn’t have them to begin with, now hand them over or I’m gonna look for them.”

“Lemme just finish off this last pack, then I’ll quit, I swear!” Spike begged, already his lips worked for something to have between them, sucking on his lip ring.

“Fine, but you can only keep _ one _lighter, you lose it and that’s it.” Angel sighed defeatedly and frowned again, “Just . . . no more drinking, okay? Please?”

“O-Okay, Dad, I swear, no more drinkin’ an’ I’ll quit the cigs.” Spike mentally crossed his fingers.

“Okay.” Angel stood there a bit awkwardly then cleared his throat, “I’m going to go call Mom so if you want a chance to plead your case . . . “

Spike blinked, sitting up straighter, “Huh? Aw, c’mon, Dad, don’ call Mum ‘bout this! She’ll blow her top!”

Angel sighed, “Look, if I don't tell her now when it all happened, she’s gonna be more pissed off so let’s just give her a call real quick.”

Spike got off the bed and followed Angel into the study where his dad sat at a massive desk with a large computer setup. He generally used it for private meetings and conference calls and Spike wasn’t allowed to touch it. Angel leaned forward in the wingback leather desk chair with Spike hanging a bit back. Angel turned on the computer and, after a few minutes of him fiddling about, he started a video call with his ex-wife, Darla. It took a few rings before the line picked up, a very pretty woman roughly Angel’s age with blonde hair and severe blue eyes popped up on the screen, she spoke with a very slight British accent, “Angelus? What is it? It’s so late right now.”

“Sorry, Darla, hope I’m not bothering you-” Angel sighed, sitting back.

“Is that William? Isn’t it a school day?” Darla’s eyebrow rose and her frown deepened.

“Hi mum.” Spike mumbled, not meeting her gaze.

“Yeah, about that . . . “ Angel rubbed the back of his neck, “William got expelled . . . again . . . “

Darla didn’t say anything for a moment then she sighed through her nose, “Angelus, would you mind if I talk to your son alone for a bit?”

Angel blinked then looked at Spike who’s blue eyes were wide and he swallowed audibly before the brunette nodded and stood up, “Sure.”

Spike watched helplessly as Angel stood and left the room, flinching when the door snapped shut behind him, then the blonde teen slowly turned to face his mother on the screen, “ . . . so, um-”

“William, darling,” Darla’s voice was deceptively sweet, but Spike knew that tone and he looked at his boots, “Sit down.”

He quickly moved to sit in the desk chair, still not looking at her and he waited anxiously for her to continue.

“Well, did your father already give you a chewing out or was he hoping I would do it for him?” Darla asked, picking at her meticulously manicured fingernails.

“ . . . he sorta already did that bit.” Spike murmured.

“good, and have you been punished?" Darla examined the nails on her other hand.

Spike swallowed and nodded, "makin’ me move somewhere different, fresh start. Said this is my last …. My last chance ta shape up."

"I see, well I'll have to make sure he gives me a forwarding address for your Christmas presents."

Spike’s head snapped up and his mouth dropped open, "I'm supposed ta spend Christmas with you an' Dru!"

"'Supposed to', yes, but if I'm to make plans based on the pattern you've fallen into I imagine you're going to be serving some punishment at the time. Coming to England is a privilege, William." Darla's voice left no room for argument but Spike would find that wiggle room.

"That's not fair! I wanna see you an' Dru!" Tears welled up in Spike’s eyes, "ya can't just stop me from _ seein my sister _!"

"If that's what it takes to get you to stop this dreadful behavior then so be it!" Darla snapped, her eyebrows taking on a severe tilt. 

"N-No!" Spike burst into tears, covering his face with his hands and curling into himself in the big chair.

There was a soft sigh, then Darla spoke again, her tone softening, "despite what you might think, we don't enjoy punishing you, William, darling… oh sweetling, I don't _ want _to stop you from coming to visit Mummy and Drusilla, that would be so very painful."

Spike sniffled and looked up, she was fighting tears herself and he had to look down to hide the wave of guilt that washed over him, "I m-miss ya so m-much!"

"I miss you too, sweet boy," Darla said softly, "every day."

"Is Dru there?" Spike asked hopefully, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of one hand.

Darla grimaced and shook her head, "no, Will, she’s at rehearsals. She’ll be quite upset to have missed _ most _of this call." 

She gave Spike a look, he ducked his head again and fidgeted, "I promise I'll behave at the new school. Just … don’ tell Dru, please. She’ll be roight angry with me."

"As well she should! You're such a good boy, William! I know things have been hard but you aren't making it any easier!" Darla shook her head, "tell your father to come back in."

Spike slowly got up and went to the door, Angel was on the other side of the hallway patiently waiting. He looked up when Spike leaned out, "She, um, she wants ta talk ta you."

Angel's brow furrowed then he strode to the door, gesturing for Spike to go back in and he sat down at his desk, "Darla."

"Angelus," Darla said coolly, "I've been having a rather interesting discussion with our son."

"He's s 'ours' again, is he?" Angel glanced at Spike.

Darla scowled for a moment the continued, "I think you've played the bad guy long enough for this, Angel, so I thought I'd put in my own punishment. I don't want William to get it in his head that somehow living with me instead will be any different."

Angel's eyes widened ever so slightly in surprise, he glanced back at Spike who looked equally confused, "what’d you have in mind?"

"Well I'd imagine there will be some time between now and finding a school for William and moving so until then I'd like you to disconnect William's television and his computer monitor."

Spike’s mouth dropped open, "W-Wot? But-"

"Did I _ stutter _ , William Bartholomew Aurelius, I swear to any chosen deity that if you interrupt me to complain about the fairness of a punishment once more, I'm going to find more things to take away!" Darla’s voice was angry and shrill now making both Angel and Spike flinch, "as I was _ saying _, unplug his computer monitor and television until the move. If he's a good boy, he’ll find something else to occupy his time."

Spike glared at the screen and stormed back out of the room and stomped loudly to his bedroom, slamming the door and throwing himself on the bed. He fished his headphones out of his backpack and cranked the volume up as loud as he could. After several minutes, Angel came in and took the cabling from his television, game system and computer, he tried to say something but gave up after Spike ignored him and left, closing the door behind him. 

* * *

Spike walked slowly down the hall and stopped in front of Angel's room, he sighed heavily before raising his hand and knocking softly. After several seconds there was a loud sigh and he heard Angel call him in. Spike opened the door and stood there for a moment, he'd had a few hours to calm down and shower, his blonde hair released from the heavy product he used with the curls licking around his temples and ears. He’d taken his contacts out so he was wearing his round-framed glasses and Spike had changed into a loose fitting pair of grey sweatpants and a baggy band t-shirt.

Angel was sitting up on his bed wearing just a pair of pyjama bottoms with his laptop balanced on one knee and there were several sheafs of paper strewn about, he looked exhausted, a pen clenched in his teeth and his eyes darted up to glance at Spike, Angel spat out the pen and sighed, "ready to turn in?"

Spike nodded and shifted his weight, "gonna go ta bed since there's nuthin’ better ta do."

"Yeah well whose fault is that?" Angel muttered, rifling about and he sighed, moving his laptop off his lap and leaning forward to rub his face with his hands, "so I got the expulsion hearing dealt with, since we aren't going to contest their decision, why bother going? Then I've been trying to find _ something _that will take you despite your recently-blackened records and crumbling GPA. And somewhere to live since I'm looking for a space as far from LA as possible while still keeping me close in case something happens and if my hair starts to fall out, I wouldn't be surprised."

Spike leaned on the doorjamb and tapped his fist on his thigh, he felt pretty guilty for causing his parents so much trouble but he wasn't sorry for what he did, "... if ya get plugs, I won' say nuthin', scout’s honor."

Angel snorted and regarded his youngest child, "did you need something, Will?"

William shrugged and toed the thick carpeting, "not if yer still mad at me." He mumbled, looking down at his bare feet.

Angel sighed and shifted back against the headboard, "I'm not mad, I'm frustrated and disappointed, that's a very different set of emotions."

Spike shrugged one shoulder, "I know…"

"I still love you, even when you're a little delinquent brat." Angel said, sighing and looking at Spike, he held out an arm, "c’mere, Trouble."

Spike made a show of rolling his eyes and groaning but almost tripped over his own feet to get to the bed and scrambled over to flop next to angel. He knew that Angel knew it was all a show because he chuckled shortly and patted Spike’s shoulder and started to gather up the papers, setting them on the nightstand. Then the brunette settled in the pillows, he ran his fingers through Spike’s hair gently, "talk about my hair falling out, if you keep bleaching your poor hair, you'll be bald."

Spike grumbled and shoved at Angel, "not goin back ta that poncy color."

Angel rolled his eyes, "your hair color isnt 'poncy', Will, it's a very nice color. And look at all your curls… "

"Looks stupid." Spike muttered, folding his arms under his chin and scowling.

"It looks fine," Angel sighed, "you are such a good looking boy."

Spike blinked and rolled on his side, "ya think so?"

"Yes, I do." Angel smiled, smoothing some of Spike’s curls back.

Spike sighed and took his glasses off, rubbing his eyes tiredly and he yawned, "guess I'll head ta bed."

"Alright, g'night, kiddo." Angel gave him a playful shove toward the edge of the bed, earning him a scowl, "I love you!" Angel called as Spike retreated to the hallway.

"Yeah, yeah!" Spile rolled his eyes at Angel before saying a hurried ‘loveyatoo’ and hurrying to his room, collapsing on his bed, it was gonna be a long few days or weeks or however long it took Angel to find somewhere else to put him, "Bloody brilliant…"

* * *

"Cmon, Harmony, just a lil kissy?" Spile leaned over Harmony's desk and the blonde receptionist rolled her eyes.

"William, stop sexually harassing my goddamn employees!" Angel snapped from his office, "get in here!"

Spike smirked and strutted in, only jumping a little bit when Angel slammed the door behind him, "I'll just go back upstairs then, shall i?" 

Angel pointed at a chair, "no, go sit down and stay there."

Spike groaned and threw himself into one of the chairs in Angel's office, "so ya want me ta be bored an' unruly down 'ere?"

"Where I can keep an eye on you, yes " Angel sat at his desk and got back to work.

Spike huffed and fiddled with the slack in his belt, "so… any idea where we're goin’?"

"Got something I think might work out," Angel looked up from his computer then he sighed and waved Spike over, "here I'll show you."

Spike hopped up and sauntered over, he leaned on the back of Angel's chair until it creaked and squinted at the screen, "... Sunny… Dale? The fuck is that?"

"You’d be able to read things better if you wore your bifocals." Angel pointed out, nudging spike off his chair, "Sunnydale, it's a relatively small town. Quiet, only a few hours from LA so if something happens here at the firm I can fly back quickly."

Spike squinted at the screen then grunted and pulled a pair of thin framed glasses, he set them on his nose after glancing about to make sure no one would see and looked closely at the pictures. He frowned deeply, "... not much to it."

"Its got a college and military base so it's pretty large, just not Los Angeles large." Angel nodded, "perfect for our purposes."

"Houses’re small too." Spike turned to look at Angel skeptically, "where ya gonna put all yer cars?"

"Way ahead of you, Will, here." Angel pulled up pictures of an old mansion, "it's a bit run-down but it's a good price and size, just need to hire some people to clean it up."

Spike swallowed and quickly stowed his glasses in his back pocket, "so … this is it then? We’re movin' ta this ‘Sunnydale’, I go to school an' be a good boy-"

"And I'll make plans with your mother to send you to England for some of the summer. _ If _ you make it to the end of the year, that's seven months that you go to school, get your grades back up and keep yourself in line," Angel slowly turned and looked up at the teenager, "think you can handle all that, chief?"

Spike shifted his weight, "'spose I could manage that."

"Can you?" Angel crossed his arms, "because as of late, I have a hard time believing you."

"Cross my heart, Dad." Spike said, a little desperately.

Angel stared at him for probably longer than necessary and Spike started to fidget uncomfortably before the brunette sighed and nodded, "alright, but this is it, got it? No more chances and no more do-overs. After this last chance I am officially done putting up with this nonsense."

Spike swallowed and nodded, "I understand."

* * *

"Wait one fuckin’ second, ya didn’ say anythin’ ‘bout flyin’ there!" Spike’s eyes were wide as he stared at the plane tickets on the kitchen counter the next day. The blonde looked around in confusion then went about looking for Angel, "Oi! Dad! I know yer not up yet!"

Angel stumbled into the kitchen and scowled, his hair was mussed up and he still had sleep in his eyes, "where's the fire?"

"Wot’s the meanin'a this?" Spike pointed at the tickets and glared at Angel.

"What? They're plane tickets." Angel's eyebrow rose.

"Ya know how I feel ‘bout flyin’!" Spike snapped, his lips twitched, he needed a cigarette.

"It'll be fine, William. It's a short flight." Angel gave him a rather condescending look and crossed his arms over his chest.

“But-” Spike fidgeted then huffed, “Wot ‘bout my stuff?”

“We’ll pack our stuff and have it shipped and put away ahead of us. Just like when we moved to LA.” Angel wandered over to the espresso machine and scowled at seeing that Spike had run it earlier then not filled it back up.

“An’ I didn’ like it that time either! They got all my posters crumpled.” Spike muttered uneasily.

“You’ll get over it, I’m sure.” Angel sighed and leaned against the counter to wait for his espresso to brew.

Spike snorted and stomped to one of the balconies, fishing a pack of hand-rolled cigarettes and a lighter, “Doubt it.” He lit up and puffed on the dart for a minute or two, staring out at the city he’d lived in for the past half year. He wasn’t overly attached to it or had many memories or anything of LA but moving again so soon felt like too much. Spike sighed and folded his arms on the railing, watching smoke curling out into the aether when the door opened behind him and Angel walked out with a mug in hand, “Enough espresso, Dad?”

Angel snorted, “Coffee was ready so I figured I’d just wait for it.” They stood in silence, both nursing their vices as the city bustled below them then Angel cleared his throat and Spike looked over at him.”I have a really good feeling about the new place.”

It was said in such a way that it was obvious he was hoping Spike would agree with him but the blonde just grimaced and tapped off his ash, “Do ya?”

Angel paused and cleared his throat, shrugging, “Someone’s gotta be optimistic.”

“I guess.” Spike muttered around the cigarette 

Angel was silent for a moment more then sighed, “Right . . . “ He turned and went back in, stopping in the door to call over his shoulder, “I have some work to do so I’ll be downstairs if you need me, okay?”

“Okay.” Spike flicked the butt over the railing.

“And I’ve taken all the cables out of all the televisions and stuff, you’re still grounded so-”

“_ Okay! _” Spike snapped, brushing past Angel to stomp past Angel, making sure to bump into his shoulder on the way.

Angel grunted and and almost spilled his coffee, “Check that attitude, young man, you’re on the thinnest ice. I mean it!”

Spike quickly retreated to his room and slammed the door, “_ Check that attitude _, fuck off, old man.” He threw himself onto his bed and was about to root around for the bag of spare cables when his phone started going crazy. The teen groaned and swiped his hands through the tangled sheets and mess of pillows until he produced the device and hit the ‘answer’ button without looking, “‘Lo?”

“Spikeykins!” A girlish voice with a thick cockney squealed into the phone startling Spike.

“Agh! Dru, fuckin’ volume!” Spike growled then he smiled and sat up on the bed, “Hey, sis, wot’s up?”

“Mummy just told me wot you've done, naughty boy! You've been sacked again!” Drusilla scolded and Spike could picture her pouting crossly at the phone.

“Not ‘sacked’, Dru, ‘expelled’ but-”

“Same thing,” Dru dismissed quickly, “Either way, you've gone an’ upset Mummy an’ Daddy. The way you’re goin’-”

“Are ya _ done _, Dru?” Spike snapped.

The other end was quiet for a moment then Dru sighed, “Sorry I just . . . we miss you, my Spikes. Mummy was beside herself when I got home last night an’ Daddy called again ta-”

“Dad called later?” Spike asked, glancing at the door.

“Yes. He did an’ he was so very upset, I think I even heard him crying.” Dru’s voice took on a severe, icy tone not unlike one Darla would adopt.

“Yer lyin’.” Spike said softly, looking down at his hands.

“No, I am not, you made Daddy cry.” Drusilla said accusingly, “You’ve been so naughty.”

Spike glared at the phone, “Will ya fuckin’ stop actin’ like ’m a little kid? ’m only two years younger than you!”

“Well then stop actin’ like a little boy! Mummy an’ Daddy are doin’ their best an’ you’re being a brat!” Drusilla snapped back.

“‘m not a brat!” Spike’s voice cracked loudly and he swallowed, tugging on a loose string in the duvet.

“You are.” Drusilla said firmly.

Spike sniffed and laid back on the bed, “ . . . I know . . . but ‘m gonna be better. I promise.”

“Oh? An’ why should this time be any different?” 

“‘Cause Dad said if I don’, he’s sendin’ me ta military school or kickin’ me out all the way . . . “ Spike rolled onto his stomach and shifted the phone to the other ear, “really done it this time, Dru . . . “

“Serves you right!” Drusilla was quiet for a second then made a strange sound, “Well . . . if he does kick you out, you know either Mummy or Penn will take you in, oh and Granddad Heinrich-”

“I am _ never _callin’ ol’ Bat-Face if things go south.” Spike rolled his eyes, “Knowin’ him, he’ll make me get a haircut an’ ship me off anyway.”

“Oh he’s not so bad! Boring an’ a bit smelly but he’s just super duper old!” Drusilla giggled.

Spike smirked, “He’s got sand in ‘is veins, Dru! He might turn ta dust if I breathe too heavy ‘round him!”

“Spikey, stop! Mummy will hear an’ ya know how sensitive she is about Granddad!” Drusilla sounded like she was trying to muffle herself, a sure sign that Spike should push it.

“He’s so old, he was ‘round when Christ was walkin’ about, bet he was at that party where the water turned ta wine.” Spike giggled.

“Ooh, you are a naughty boy! Now you stop that right now, Granddad Heinrich is just very old-”

“An’ grouchy.” Spike chuckled.

“Alright, so no Granddad, wot ‘bout Penn?” He could picture her propping her feet up on another chair or her desk while twirling some of her long black hair in her fingers.

Spike was quiet for a few moments as he thought of their older brother, Angel’s biological son from a first marriage. It was obvious who Angel’s favorite was, his elder son was a top student, passing his exams and proving to be just as good a lawyer as their father, good looking, charming, and smart . . . Spike sighed, “ . . . I dunno . . . I never get the sense that Penn likes me all that much.”

“Oh come off it, Penn’s just not like us! He loves you, thick head!” Drusilla laughed again and breathed out, “He’s quiet and bookish . . . like you _ used _to be. You probably have more in common with him than you think.”

“Take that back! ‘M nuthin’ like Daddy’s golden boy!” Spike pushed himself up and glared at the phone, “Penn’s an ass-kissin’ loser who-”

“_Jealous_.”

“ . . . take that back too, ‘m not jealous’a Penn.” Spike growled.

“You are. Now, it might be daytime there but it’s almost midnight here and I need to wash my hair before school in the morning since _ some _of us still go. So you be a good boy for Daddy at the new place, don’t fuck this up an’ I love you, my Spikes.” 

Spike opened his mouth then sighed, “Love ya too, Dru . . . I’ll-I’ll see ya soon?”

“If you don’t fuck up, yeh. Mummy was all set to have us take another sibling photo for the Christmas card an’ you better be in it, got it?”

“Got it.” Spike murmured then hung up and flopped onto the bed before getting up to wander around the penthouse. He stopped in the living room where there was a large gas fireplace and above it, a massive portrait.

It was of their family before the divorce, Spike stopped and stared at it, there was Angel and Darla with smiles that he knew now were fake, Angel stood behind Darla who was sitting with her long blue dress perfectly settled around the stool, blonde curls pinned and perfect, her small pale hands folded in her lap, she looked like a marble statue of a goddess or queen. On Angel’s left was Penn, redheaded and freckle-faced he had a strange charm about him and a very quick wit, competitive and ambitious . . . maybe Spike was a smidge jealous. On Angel’s other side was Spike only he looked a little different, his hair was shorter and only the tips were bleached on the spikey locks, by this point he’d started amassing his piercing collection. He remembered how angry Angel had been when he showed up to take the shoot several minutes late, not wearing the clothes he’d agreed to and had utterly refused to wear his glasses, smile or take his piercings out. Finally, sitting in front of Spike next to Darla, was Drusilla, her long curly black hair fell down in perfect ringlets, holding Angel’s hand behind Darla’s shoulder. She wore a burgundy dress and a lace choker, a rose was in her hair and her dark eyes seemed to sparkle out of the picture.

Spike swallowed thickly and tears welled up in his eyes as he stared at the massive portrait, he remembered going to the stupid studio and standing there getting yelled at to smile or at least stop scowling, he remembered Drusilla wandering around all the sets and Penn catching them trying to smuggle a hideous stuffed swan (who the _ hell _wants a dead bird in a picture?) into the car’s trunk. He remembered them all being relieved when it was over, Drusilla begged for ice cream and Angel relented so they all got changed and went out. 

“I got double mint chocolate.” Spike whispered, “Penn got vanilla with strawberries . . . Drusilla got dark chocolate with jimmies in a dish . . . Mum got peach frozen yogurt . . . Dad got butterscotch ripple . . . “ He remembered that day . . . one of the last ones they were all together. Spike was going to go sulk about a little when he remembered that Angel was downstairs so he figured if he made enough disgruntled noises and sat incorrectly enough, the brunette would notice and pay attention to him. Might even let Angel give him a hug . . . begrudgingly and with many eye rolls, but . . . maybe.


	2. Stumbling into a Good Thing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike messes up some more but a few chance meetings and it looks like MAYBE things are getting better.

Spike sat on the floor in his room, Angel was in a meeting and he’d been barred from the lobby without supervision since he’d messed with Harmony’s unicorns after closing and broke several . . . he’d felt kinda bad about that, truth be told . . . Spike sighed and leaned his head back on the wall. He tugged his shirt off and kicked his shoes across the floor then slid to lay on his side on the floor. Spike’s blue eyes slowly scanned the room and all the boxes, they were supposed to be moving in the next week since Angel had cash to hand the realtor. The blonde groaned and got up, wandering to the living area and stopped in front of the massive cabinet in the back. 

It used to have liquor in it, now all the bottles were either locked away or packed up, Angel was really putting the kibosh on Spike getting any liquor . . . the blonde snorted and meandered across the room to a bookcase, he knelt down and ran his fingers over the books on the bottom shelf until he found the three he was looking for. A little wiggle and the glued-together false bookspines popped out of place, behind them was three-quarters of a bottle of cheap rum. Spike smirked and scurried back to his room, unscrewing the cap and kicked the bottle back. He made a face and shook his head as the alcohol went down his throat, lighting its way into his stomach where it felt like a glow for a brief moment then was gone. If he was going to be packing, he wasn’t doing it sober, that’s for damn sure.

And sober he was not, the bottle was already nearly empty by the time Angel tiredly came back upstairs, there was loud music blaring from Spike’s room and he was singing off-key as he stuffed an already full box with more objects until it was a rather unstable mound on his bed. 

Spike heard his door open and scrambled to hide the bottle but tripped and dropped it, spilling a good bit onto the rug and watched helplessly as his fingers fell short of grabbing it. The bottle rolled to Angel’s feet and the brunette bent to pick it up and sniff it. Spike grimaced and slowly got on his knees, “‘Lo, Dad, h-how wasth your meeding?” Spike slurred, he tried to give the man a winning smile but his face felt numb and wasn’t cooperating, “I wasth packin’!”

“ . . . I see that.” Angel muttered, holding the unmarked bottle up, “Where’d you get this?”

Spike pouted and rubbed at the spillage on the floor, “Nowhere.”

“William, where’d you get this bottle?” Angel’s voice became demanding and he took another step into the room.

“I found it!” Spike tried, it wasn’t a complete lie, he had just found the bottle, hadn’t he?

“_ William, _ ” Angel grabbed Spike’s arm and hoisted him to his wobbly feet, “I’m going to ask you one more- . . . oh god, are you _ drunk _?”

“T’would appear so, Daddy dearesht.” Spike mumbled, blinking slowly up at Angel.

Angel gave him a look and then dragged Spike down the hall to a bathroom where he closed the toilet lid and made the teen sit down while he went to the sink with the bottle, “I . . . I literally told you two days ago not to do this . . . “

“Ah, come off it, wot’sh wrong wisth a liddle drink now an’ ‘gain?” Spike mumbled, swaying on the toilet, “Ya drink too!”

“You’re _ fifteen _!” Angel snapped and he tipped the bottle into the sink.

Spike’s eyes widened and he lurched forward to grab at the bottle, “O-Oi! That’sh mine! Give id back!”

Angel held him off and emptied the bottle then set the empty bottle on the counter, “Okay . . . you got any other bottles I should know about?”

Spike blinked and thought hard then shook his head, “Nuh-uh, that was the lasht one . . . oh . . . I did a bad thing, didn’ I?”

“Yes, Will, you did.”

“Oh . . . “ Spike leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, staring at the torn knees of his jeans, “_ Oh _. . . ‘m sorry, meant ta jusht have a swallow . . . “

Angel sat down next to Spike, “I’m too tired for this.”

“‘M sorry, truly I am, Dad,” Spike leaned over and nuzzled into Angel’s shoulder, “Only meant ta have a swallow, got carried away.”

Angel didn’t say anything for a bit then sighed and got up, helping Spike to his feet, “C’mon, let’s get some food in you so you can sober up.”

“Good idea,” Spike leaned heavily on Angel to the kitchen where he was set up on a stool at the breakfast counter, “Dad?”

“Yeah?” Angel started going through the fridge and picking out several items then looking about for a pan.

“Oi, look at me.” Spike leaned over the counter and frowned, staring at the carton of eggs.

Angel sighed and turned around, “Okay, I’m looking at you.”

“‘M sorry.” Spike repeated, “I was . . . wot was I doin’? Oh, packin’, I was packin’ but it was too hard . . . too depressin’ . . . so I thought . . . I thought I’d do what I always do when stuff’s depressin’ . . . liven the mood . . . got feelin’ too good an’ ‘m sorry.”

Angel frowned putting a large frying pan on the stove, “ . . . you drink when you’re depressed?”

“Mhm,” Spike nodded and traced some pattern in the granite countertop, “Makes stuff real funny an’ . . . I forget stuff.”

“Why don’t you just . . . _ talk _to me?” Angel asked, putting his elbows on the counter and leaning forward.

“Cuz.” Spike shrugged, “You was in a meetin’, weren’ ya? Didn’ wanna bother ya.”

“Will, you aren’t a bother to me,” Angel said softly, “I’m your dad, I love you and I want to help you.”

“Guess I know that, don’ I?” Spike grimaced, slowly putting his head down on one arm, “ . . . just easier ta drink it away.”

“Yeah until it’s not enough and you die in a puddle of vomit,” Angel walked around and sat next to Spike, “I wish you would talk to me! I can’t help what hurts if I don’t know you’re hurting!”

“It’s just the packin’, alright? Gerroff my back!” Spike glared at Angel but his head was starting to hurt and he felt heavy.

“Then let me help you! You don’t have to do everything alone!” Angel looked incredulously at Spike.

The blonde fidgeted and breathed out, “ . . . my head hurts.”

“Sobering up, are we? Hang on.” Angel got up and disappeared for a moment then returned with two small pills and a glass of water, “Here, take this, I’ll get you something to eat.”

Spike watched Angel set the pills on the counter next to the glass then go around to the stove. The teen slowly took the pills and downed the water then watched Angel’s back as his dad busied himself with the food, “ . . . Dad?”

“Yeah?” Angel glanced over his shoulder while chopping up mushrooms.

“ . . . can I . . . can I have my computer back?”

“No.”

“Just for a bit?”

“No. Your mother said no computer, television or video games until the move.” Angel’s eyebrow rose and went back to the veggies.

Spike pouted and shifted, “‘m bored tho’.”

“Tough.”

“So ‘m supposed ta just stare at the wall until the move?”

“You could find something constructive to do with your time,” Angel reached for the eggs, “You used to write poetry and-”

“No one gave a damn ‘bout my awful poetry.” Spike snapped then winced when his head hurt.

“I dunno, that one girl seemed quite taken with it.” Angel smirked, “Maybe that’s your problem, you need real friends and a nice girl to go on dates with and show off for.”

Spike blinked and glared at the counter, “I don’ need friends or a girl.”

“Alright, alright, just an idea. You don’t seem overly interested in dating anyway. Probably a good thing too since I don’t think you getting a girl pregnant or anything would be helpful to the situation at hand.” Angel set a plate of eggs in front of Spike after a span.

Spike’s ears reddened and he tucked into the eggs just so he wouldn’t have to answer even though his stomach turned a somersault at anything being put in it.

* * *

“Please _no_.” Spike groaned, digging his heels in at the gate.

Angel gave him another tug, “William, I already told you we are flying there, it’s only going to be an hour.”

“I _ hate _ flyin’!” Spike whined, shaking his head, “Ya _ know _that!”

“If you’re scared of flying, I can give you someth-”

Spike went rigid, he got in Angel’s face and scowled, “I am _ not _ ‘afraid’ of flyin’, I just don’ _ like _flyin’!”

“If that’s the case then get on the fucking plane,” Angel said, his patience long since dried up, “Since you aren’t afraid.”

Spike faltered and looked at the plane waiting, “Couldn’ get yer jet, huh?”

“It’s getting repairs done,” Angel shrugged, “We’re going first class so it’s not that different.”

Spike swallowed and shoved his hands in his pockets, he straightened his back and stomped up to the gate, got checked, walked up the jet bridge and took his seat. He sank down in it and it was all he could do to keep his face in a scowl as Angel up his carry-on up and took his seat. Spike’s hands were white-knuckled on the armrest and his leg bounced erratically.

“Face is gonna freeze that way if you don’t cut it out.” Angel said.

Spike glared at him then looked at the seat in front of him.

“You know,” Angel said casually while taking out a book, he licked his thumb and opened it, “I remember when you were little and we were bringing you on vacation with us to the Keyes, we flew down and you bawled your eyes out for a solid five minutes. You were terrified and I put you in my lap once we took off, you clung onto me and eventually you fell asleep. I remember holding you and the whole time Dru kept begging me to let her hold you instead and Mom offered to hold you but you would just cling onto me and shake your head.”

Spike grit his teeth and shifted, “Don’ remember that part.”

“No, but I do. I remember the flight home you didn’t waste any time and got in my lap as soon as you were allowed to undo your seatbelt. You hung on so tight, you ripped one of my shirt buttons out and your mom laughed at me quite a bit for that.” he looked at Spike and smiled, “I know you’re scared, Will, it’s a short flight.”

Spike didn’t say anything and breathed out shakily, “I _ hate _flyin’.”

“I know you do, chief, don’t worry we’ll be out of here in no time.” Angel went back to his book.

Spike glanced at Angel then closed his eyes until the plane started forward and he could feel it, he bit his lip ring and tried not to freak out until they leveled out. The seatbelt light came on and he hastily undid it and ran to the toilet to throw up. Spike quickly cleaned himself off and held his head high as he walked back to his seat on shaky legs, collapsing back into the chair and he swallowed thickly, “Can I have a water, please?”

“Sure.” Angel called a flight attendant and then handed Spike the cup, “Here.”

Spike drank it down then glanced at Angel then carefully around the cabin before scooting as close to Angel as he could and he slowly put his head down on the brunette’s shoulder, “‘m tired.”

“I know.” Angel smiled a bit and shifted so he was lower in his chair to let Spike get closer if he wanted.

Spike sighed through his nose and pulled his jacket tightly around himself, he tucked his head into Angel’s shoulder and closed his eyes. It would be a short flight, he could handle that.

* * *

“ . . . fuck.”

Spike looked at Angel and snorted, “Wot’d ya expect? Ya bought a run-down heap o’ bullshit fer cash!”

“Yeah but like . . . look at this mess!” Angel groaned and walked around the interior, “I was told the crew would at least have the roof fixed all the way! I’m paying them enough!”

Spike walked around and sat down on a couch covered in a sheet, “I dunno, I kinda loike it in a ‘sneak on the premise ta throw a rave’ kinda way.”

Angel pointed at Spike, “Don’t you dare.”

“‘M just sayin’ it has potential!” Spike laughed and put his boots on the coffee table.

They spent a majority of the rest of the day, and the subsequent week after, putting things away and yelling at people. Well, Angel yelled, Spike mostly snickered and watched from the stairs.

“Old man is gonna lose his marbles at this rate, Dru.” Spike said, shaking his head at his laptop screen.

“Oh, poor Daddy . . . You are helpin’ him, aren’ you, my Spikes?” She pouted out at him and pet the little black and white cat in her lap, “Mr. Lumpkins thinks you should help Daddy with the work.”

“Mr. Lumpkins is a dumb cat,” Spike muttered, “An’ I would help if he didn’ keep snappin’ at me every turn!”

“You said you smashed a window!” Dru pointed out.

“On accident!”

“An’ you got sloshed!”

“That was an accident too! And a week ago! Let it go!” Spike kicked the computer off his lap and flopped back onto the bed, “God yer such a bitch sometimes!”

Drusilla blinked then nudged the cat off her lap, “Well, if you’re goin’ ta be nasty ta me then I don’ have ta talk ta you! Good night. _William_!” And she ended the call.

Spike blinked at the screen for a moment then bit his lip, “Fuck, didn’ mean it!” He hurried to retrieve his phone and started texting Dru quickly, “Didn’ . . . mean . . . it . . . sorry . . . “ She didn’t respond and Spike made his way downstairs, he figured if she was going to tattle on him, he’d best not be around.

It was a bit chillier out then he would have liked, he tugged on his duster then quietly headed out the door and toward town.

* * *

Spike wasn’t lost _per se,_ but he certainly didn’t know where he was going. He had wandered for a while, then he stumbled across the main strip and the Sunnydale nightlife. The blonde teen mingled about with the clusters of college students and other teens. He managed to bum a few cigarettes off a girl in a mini who giggled at his accent and said he was cute. All in all it was becoming a great distraction, “‘ey, luv, where can a good lookin’ bloke like me have a good time?”

“Oh,” The girl’s ears reddened and she glanced at her friends, “Well there’s The Bronze, it’s a club, lots of fun and dancing, live music and hardly ever get carded.” She gave him directions and a few more looks.

“Hm, sounds loike the kinda place ‘m lookin’ for, ta!” He winked at her and sauntered back to the crowds. Spike posed as a member of whatever band was playing that night (no one questioned since he was clearly not from around) and moved about, pilfering someone’s drink and wandering about the throngs of bodies. He left his coat at the bar and since the band wasn’t half bad, he slipped through the gyrating bodies to the dancefloor. It didn’t take long for someone to sidle up to him and before he knew, he had a very attractive sorority girl on his front and one on the back.

“Hey, haven’t seen you here before!” One of the girls said over the music.

“Yeh, well, just moved inta town!” Spike replied, sipping at his drink over her head.

“Oh? Where from?” The other asked, her chin on Spike’s shoulder.

“Los Angeles. Dad is a senior partner ta an international law firm, big deal I s’pose.” Spike shrugged nonchalantly, “Daddy dearest wanted a change’a scenary.”

“Ooh, rich and handsome?” The one girl in front giggled, her fingers sliding into Spike’s front pockets.

“Uh, watch them digits, luv,” Spike slid back a bit, “Gonna spill me drink!”

They all laughed and after the song was over the two girls went back to their friends and Spike stood awkwardly there for a moment before going back to the bar where the ‘keep was giving him a look, “I know you didn’t pay for that drink, asshole, I’d suggest you move on.”

Spike blinked at her, downed the drink and pulled out his wallet, slapping down several large bills, “‘ere, there’s fer the drink an’ anyone else that comes along for whatever. Happy?”

“You’re still an asshole.” She glared at him and scooped up the bills.

Spike waved her back over to serve him another drink and she didn’t card him so he was drinking the rest of the night and dancing with anyone that would come close enough. When he got bored with that, he stumbled out into the street, “Fuck . . . ‘m drunk . . . which way . . . ?” He looked around, nothing was familiar then he realized he’d left his coat inside, he turned and wandered back to the entrance but the bouncer stopped him, “Naw, wait, mate, m’coat is in there, I gotta go ge’ it.” 

“Sure, pal.” The bouncer put a hand on Spike’s chest, “Come back in the morning and claim it from lost and found like everyone else.”

Spike scowled and cursed before turning and wandering about, he shivered and cursed again, he’d just come out in a shirt and jeans under the coat, the night air was not being friendly either, “Stupid, ya never go an’where widdout that coat . . . stupid.” He was good and lost without his phone, wallet or keys, he was a little drunk and a lot cold, great . . . 

“H-Hey, guys, c’mon, we don’t have to-”

“Shut up, Harris and hand it over.”

“B-But this is supposed to last all week!”

“Don’t care, hand it over.”

Spike blinked and slowly turned to the lot of a few shops, there appeared to be three large boys hassling another boy. The blonde grimaced, while he was a big fan of vigilante justice and beating the tar out of the bullies in the world, the odds did not look good . . . 

“Please, I-”

Course, he waffled until the big one hit the smaller and knocked him down, “OI! Leave off ‘im!” Spike shouted and started to stomp his way over, clenching hsi jaw to keep from shivering and chattering his teeth.

The leader of the meatheads turned and sneered when he saw the thin blonde sizing him up, “What the hell do you want, fag?”

“Well fer starters, don’ call me a ‘fag’,” Spike snarled, he was drunk but he knew how to square-up and his hands slowly made fists at his sides, “Second, go find another gorilla ta mess with.” He saw the fist coming about a second after it made contact but luckily the bozo either didn’t know proper form or was weak as all fuck because Spike turned his head with the hit and it glanced off his cheekbone with minimal sting, “Well see, now it’s self-defense.”

The fight did not last very long, mostly due to some adult yelling that they’d call the cops, but that was probably a good thing since Spike took several more, much better formed hits to the face and gut and was kneeling on the ground wheezing but he also grinned at the boy who’d been the cause of all this. The kid in question hurried to crawl over and put a hand on Spike’s shoulder, “A-Are you okay? Jesus, you didn’t have to-”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Spike spat on the ground and shakily got to his feet, “I know that but ya didn’ look like you were gonna do a whole lot on yer own.”

“Uh,” Big brown eyes narrowed and he stood up, brushing down the front of a tie-dye shirt clearly from a charity bin . . . or a regular bin, “Well, I could’ve-”

“Taken the beatin’ alone? Yeah.” Spike groaned when he realized his cigarettes were also in his coat pocket back at the club.

“You are . . . super rude for a hero.” He looked around, “Well, um, I’m Xander.”

“Spike,” Spike tilted his head back and breathed out, “Maybe ya can help me out? ‘M a bit lost an’ drunk an’ new in town.”

“I gathered,” Xander tilted his head, “Is ‘Spike’ like _ actually _your name?”

“‘S none’a yer business now is it?” Spike muttered, “I helped ya, now help me out.”

Xander frowned, “I dunno, you seem pretty demanding and rude, _ Spike _.”

Spike glared at him, wiping at his nose as blood dripped down it, “Sorry. ‘M tired an’ my face hurts now.” he held up the hand with a bloody snot smear on it now.

Xander grimaced, “Oh, yeah, cuz of the punches . . . um, okay, where do you live?”

Spike rattled the address off, or at least the bits he remembered, and frowned when Xander’s eyes got huge, “Wot?”

“You _ live _at that old house? I hear it’s haunted and that vampires live in the cellars.” He looked pretty excited at the notion.

Spike cocked an eyebrow, sucking on his lip ring, “ . . . well, I do live there but haven' seen hide nor hair's ghosts or vampires . . . “

“That’s so cool though!” Xander started to bounce on his toes, eyes all sparkly.

“ . . . sure,” Spike blinked, “Um, couldja just tell me how ta get home? ‘M in hot water already from me old man an’ would like ta avoid gettin’ locked in said cellar t’night.”

Xander stopped bouncing but his eyes stayed wide, “He wouldn’t do that would he?”

Spike leaned back, “Uh, _ no _he wouldn’, it was a joke.” 

“O-Oh, r-right, haha yeah, um so you go that way and-”

Xander gave Spike directions home and offered three times to walk with him, he also kept hinting at Spike not being safe or something but the blonde just waved and walked off, “Strange kid, that one . . . “ 

* * *

Angel didn’t seem to notice that Spike had a large bruise on his face or that he was doing his hangover routine (mmmmmm apple cider vinegar . . . ) as he filled out forms on his tablet, “Have a good night?”

“Fer the most part, yeh, I did. Danced a bit, stopped a fight, saw the town” Spike muttered and downed the glass of vinegar, pulling a face, “Fergot m’coat, gotta go get it.”

“A fight? You got in a fight?” Angel looked up, priorities in place as ever it would seem.

Spike sighed, “I didn’ get _ inta _ a fight _ , _ I _ stopped _ a fight. Big difference.”

“How so?” Angel folded his hands on the table.

“Boy was gettin’ his pocket money pilfered, stepped in, ran ‘em off.” Spike shrugged, pointing at his face, “Hence.”

Angel nodded slowly, “Is the other boy okay?”

“Oh yeh, sent him scamperin’ home.” Spike nodded sitting at the breakfast bar and pouring himself a large bowl of sugary cereal and milk.

"And are _you _okay?"

"Mhm." Spike nodded, swirling the cereal to get it soggy.

“Well, that’s good.” Angel sighed, “Just please don’t get us run out of town, okay?”

Spike frowned around his spoon and leaned his head back, “‘m not in trouble fer fightin’? Thought fer sure that was one’a yer big no-no’s.”

“It is, but I’m willing to give you some wiggle room if you were helping someone,” Angel sighed, “Don’t go looking for fights though, alright? And please, for the love of what’s left of my hair, be safe. You don’t _ have _to sneak out, I mean, I already knew you did but . . . you can go out if you want.”

Spike blinked, “ . . . oh.” he stared at the multi-colored marshmallows floating in the milk, “Guess I just figured-”

“That I’m a big stick in the mud who never has fun and forgot what it was like to be a teenager? Yeah, I get that feeling a lot.” Angel shook his head, “I was young once upon a time too, yanno.”

“Were you?” Spike cocked an eyebrow then grinned at Angel’s glare, “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind next time.”

“Cool. And please just text me when you get to wherever you're going or if your plans change so if something happens I can come get you” Angel went back to his tablet after Spike nodded, “I should have you starting at the school on Monday, think you can manage to keep yourself from getting in trouble that long?”

“I make no promises.” Spike shoved a spoonful of cereal in his mouth and chewed it obnoxiously until Angel glared at him.

* * *

“Nervous?”

“No.” Spike looked out the window of the car as they turned the corner and pulled up to Sunnydale High.

They were early, Angel had a lot to do apparently so he was dropping Spike off before the doors were probably even unlocked, but that was fine. Spike could just sit somewhere quiet and smoke and listen to his music in peace before having to trudge about the peasantry.

Angel grimaced, “Guess this is old hat for you by now, huh?”

“Why? Cuz I get kicked out of school a lot?” Spike muttered.

“Uh, no, because I’ve moved you around a lot,” Angel sighed, “I was trying to take the blame this time.”

“Oh.” Spike glanced at his dad and frowned, “I’s alright . . . people usually leave me alone.”

Angel stopped the car and stared at the steering wheel, “Will?”

“Yeh?” Spike grabbed his backpack and stopped with his hand on the handle.

“I love you.” Angel gave him a hopeful little smile.

Spike blinked at Angel then huffed and smirked, “Love ya too, bye.”

“I’ll pick you up here after school, okay? Have a good day!” 

“Yeah, yeah, see ya.” Spike shut the car door behind him then looked around for a good spot, he settled on a stone bench some ways from the front entrance and wrestled a lighter and a cigarette out of his coat’s seemingly unending pockets. The blonde sighed and was just putting his headphones on and lighting up when-

“You know, smoking is super bad for you, right?”

“Agh!” Spike almost leapt off the bench and looked around until he saw the boy from the other night, “Jesus, ya almost gave me a heart attack!”

The boy (Xander, was it?) grimaced and his ears reddened, “S-Sorry, I thought you saw me wave.”

Spike frowned then sighed, dropping his feet off the bench to make room since the kid kept glancing at the bench, “I didn’, but wotever.”

Xander sat next to him and shifted, watching the blonde light the cigarette despite or because of his warning, “So . . . you get here pretty early, huh?”

“Dad had a lotta work ta get done.” Spike shrugged, “You?”

“Oh . . . well,” Xander shrugged, “I come here early just to . . . be somewhere else.”

Spike blinked at Xander and his eyebrows furrowed, “Alroight . . . “

There was quiet for a moment or two then Xander cleared his throat, “Thanks. For the other night, I mean.”

“I know wot I was doin’ out that late, but wot were _ you _doin’?” Spike asked, puffing a cloud of smoke to the side so it wouldn’t get in Xander’s face.

“My club had a meeting that went late so I was taking a shortcut home.” Xander shrugged, pulling a rather tattered comic book out of his backpack and peeling dog-eared pages apart.

“‘Club’?” Spike leaned over to peer at the comic, “Got that one in a first edition at the house.”

Xander’s eyes widened at the mention of the comic then shook his head as if to clear it, “Yeah, club, see me and a bunch of my friends started a club that the school librarian helps us with.”

“Book club then?” Spike cocked an eyebrow.

“Uh-huh, we mostly read like mystery and horror stuff but sometimes Willow, that’s my best friend, finds a really good supernatural thing for us to read and it’s so cool!” Xander started talking faster as he got excited, “I don’t really like to read much, the words get kinda all mixed up but the others worked it out so we all take turns reading chapters then we talk about it and it’s a lot of fun and- . . . oh.” His face fell.

Spike blinked, “Wot?”

“Sorry, I tend to babble when . . . anyway you probably think it’s stupid.” Xander mumbled, fiddling with a tear in one of the comic pages.

“Did I say that?” Spike asked, tilting his head and blowing more smoke upward.

“Well, no, but-”

“Think I don’ loike books just cuz how I look?” Spike pressed, leaning closer.

“I-I didn’t mean-”

“Cuz that’s a rather hurtful assumption.” Spike leaned down and put the cigarette out on the pavement.

“Sorry!” Xander said quickly, flinching.

“S’alri-”

“Xander!”

They turned to see three girls and a boy around their age hurrying over, Xander shot to his feet then had to duck back down to catch the comic book, “H-Hey guys!”

“Is this guy bothering you?” A girl with her blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail moved to get between Xander and Spike.

“Wot?” Spike blinked in confusion at the group.

“Oh, n-no, this is Spike, he-” Xander started.

“Cuz if he is, I can get all witchy at him!” A redheaded girl said, holding the hand of the other girl, a nervous looking thing who kept biting her lip.

“Get all _ wot _ at me?” Spike slowly stood up, getting more confused.

“No, Wills, he wasn’t-” Xander rolled his eyes.

“You better leave our Xander alone or I can beat you up!” The blonde girl in Spike’s face scowled up at him.

“Ya smell funny.” Spike growled at her, taking a step back.

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, “I do not! Riley, I don’t smell funny do I?”

The boy shook his head, “No, Buffy, you don’t smell funny.”

“Look, all of you!” Xander said loudly before he could be interrupted again, “I’m _ fine _, this is Spike, the boy that helped me the other night when those guys hassled me!”

They all looked at each other and ‘oh’d’ while Spike crossed his arms and glared at them, “Yeh, so back _ off _, I wasn’ doin’ nuthin’.”

“Funny accent.” Buffy mumbled lamely.

“That’s cuz i’s British.” Spike muttered, “Bint.”

“What’d you call me?” She whipped around and glared up at him.

“Anyway!” Xander said loudly, “Spike, these are my friends Willow, Tara, Buffy and Buffy’s boyfriend Riley.”

“Charmed, ‘m sure.” Spike muttered.

“What kind of name is ‘Spike’?” Riley asked.

“Mine.” Spike glared at the much bigger boy, “Wot’s yer gimmick, some kind of army brat?”

“My dad is the Captain at the base.” Riley drew himself up to his full height.

“Can smell yer kind from a mile off.” Spike nodded, glancing at the others, “How long you two been datin’?”

Tara and Willow looked behind them then at each other and both turned scarlet, Willow sputtered and laughed nervously, “Huh? Who, us? We’re not-”

“A few weeks.” Tara said softly, smiling shyly at the ground, “But it’s kind of a secret so, you know . . . “

“Mum’s the word, sunshine.” Spike tapped the side of his nose then looked at Buffy, “Awfully spunky fer a short girl aren’cha?”

“Look who’s talking.” Buffy snapped, she turned to Xander and huffed, “Hey so Giles got donuts and juice in the study room so if you’re hungry-”

“Gods yes!” Xander eagerly grabbed his backpack, stuffed the comic book in it (making Spike cringe) and then stopped and looked at Spike who had sat back down, “Oh, um, h-hey, do you want to come with? I bet Giles wouldn’t mind and-”

“Can he even read?” Buffy asked in a stage whisper.

Spike leapt to his feet, grabbed his backpack and shoved past her, “Sounds absolutely smashin’, Xan, lead the way.” He glared over his shoulder at Buffy, he did _ not _like that one.

“R-Right.” Xander gave Buffy a look as they all migrated toward the side of the school, “C’mon, Buff, he’s new in town.”

“Get kicked out of the last place, did you?” Buffy asked loudly.

“Yeah.” Spike answered then stopped when the rest of them stopped, “Lit five gym lockers on fire, buncha jock bullies had it comin’.”

Buffy grabbed Xander and wheeled him around as they huddled up, “Xander, this is a really, _ really _bad idea. This guy is clearly bad news!”

“Oh come on, Buffy, he said they were _ bully lockers _.” Xander cocked an eyebrow, “You’d do the same and you know it.”

“He doesn’t seem so bad.” Tara said softly, “Just a little rough around the edges.”

“I don’t like it either.” Riley muttered, glancing Spike’s direction.

“Ya all do know I can hear ya, roight?” Spike muttered, toeing the sidewalk and scowling.

“Quiet you, we’re having a Scooby huddle.” Willow said.

“A _ wot _ now?” Spike blinked.

The door of the school opened and another boy, this one had spiky red hair and a band shirt that Spike recognized on, “Hey, guys, donuts getting dried out.”

The group quickly broke the huddle with Xander charging ahead, grabbing Spike’s arm, “Got it, Oz, thanks! Coming now!”

Spike and Oz blinked at each other as they went in, Spike pointed at the shirt, “Good band.”

“Agreed.” Oz nodded and walked next to Spike, “Oz.”

“Spike.”

“Cool.” Oz smiled, “In a band?”

“No. You?”

“Yeah.”

“Name?”

“Dingoes Ate My Baby.”

Spike blinked then laughed, “Brilliant, wotcha play?”

“Guitar. Need a new vocalist though.” Oz sighed.

Spike chuckled and turned to Xander, jerking his thumb at Oz, “Now this one I loike.”

* * *

They made it to the library where a bespectacled man about Angel’s age stood waiting for them, “Ah, good of you all to join us. I thought for sure Daniel and I would be eating these ourselves.” 

Spike was a little taken aback by the man having a posh Enlgish accent but he recovered quickly to cock his eyebrow, “Daniel?”

“Oz.” Oz muttered, raising a finger.

“Roight.”

“And who might this be?” The man, who Spike assumed was ‘Giles’, gestured to him.

“This is Spike,” Xander said quickly, “I invited him, he helped me out the other night and was sitting outside smoking, though I don’t think he should do that since it’s so bad for you, but I thought he might like to come in and-”

“Donuts?” Willow cut in, putting a hand on Xander’s mouth and looking around hopefully.

Giles took his glasses off and polished them on a rag, he set them back on then sighed, “Well alright, but this is a _ library _so please act accordingly.”

Spike crossed his arms, “Donuts.”

Xander nodded eagerly with Willow’s hand still on his mouth and his stomach gave a growl that everyone heard. The brunette looked down and blushed, Giles cleared his throat and gestured to a table where two boxes of donuts and a jug of orange juice was waiting, “Try to keep the crumbs to a minimum, please.”

Xander hung back a bit before he was given a nudge by Buffy then he hurried to grab two donuts and a glass of juice, wolfing half of a large cinnamon roll twist and not making eye contact. Spike frowned and reached for a powdered donut, moving to sit near Xander, licking some sugar off his thumb. He noticed Buffy and Riley watching him closely so he rolled his eyes and sat back, “So, Xan, whatcha readin’ now?”

Xander blinked and wiped crumbs from his mouth with a napkin, checking he didn’t get any on the carpet, “Well, we’ve been going through the Goosebump books … I know they’re for little kids but I really like them and Halloween’s coming up and like, I dunno it seemed like a lot of fun.” He looked down at his lap and rolled the sugared jelly between his hands.

“Think I read those as a kid,” Spike leaned back and finished his juice off, “We were in Germany at the time, so it was good practice for speakin’ it since they’re pretty easy.”

“You lived in Germany?” Tara looked up.

“Oh yeah,” Spike blinked as they all looked at him, “Lived in England with me mum an’ dad mostly but I've lived in Italy, China,” He ticked them off on his fingers, “Germany, Spain, an’ New York. Right now Dad’s runnin’ the branch office in LA. I’ve been livin’ in the states fer bout four years now.”

“That’s so cool.” Xander whispered, he smiled, “So are your parents from England too?”

“Er, no, my mum was born there but she lived in America most her life an’ my dad is from Ireland. W-Well, I mean, my _ mother _was English an’ me an’ my sister, Dru are both from-”

“Your sister’s name is ‘Drew’?” Buffy wrinkled her nose.

“Drusilla.” Spike said, bristling a little.

“What kind of names do you people _ have _? It’s not an English thing, is it, Giles?” She turned to Giles who was also listening intently.

“No, Buffy, it is not, don’t be rude.” Giles sat down, a mug in hand, “Do you have any other siblings, Spike?”

“Yeh,” Spike glared briefly at Buffy then turned to the group, “My brother, Penn. He’s in New York at the moment though.”

“Interesting,” Giles put the mug down and folded his hands in his lap, “Do you speak other languages?”

“Six, last count. Was workin’ on Swahili b’fore . . . “ He trailed off then stood up, grabbing his bag, “Well, thanks fer the donut, see ya ‘round.” Spike hurried out the door before anyone could stop him and went to find somewhere quiet to sit by himself. That was a lot to say and hear and experience in a short time and he needed to process how he felt. 

He spent the day refusing to do ‘intros’ for classes, giving anyone that looked at him the eye and being teased by the ‘Scoobies’ for his name actually being ‘William’, he skipped lunch to smoke with the other delinquents and avoided PE like the plague. All in all, not a bad first day.

* * *

“Hey.”

Spike looked up and waved a hand, taking his headphones off, “‘lo.”

Xander sat down by him, “You seemed pretty upset this morning when you took off-”

“Did I?” Spike gave Xander his best bored face but the puppy-dog eyes made him change it to a more neutral expression.

“Yeah,” Xander shifted, hugging his knees, “I saw your dad drop you off this morning and you have other siblings so . . . do they not live with you?”

“They’re divorced. My parents, I mean” Spike said flatly, staring into the distance.

“O-Oh. I’m, uh, I’m sorry.” Xander mumbled.

“It was nearly ten months ago,” He shrugged, “We had Christmas and then two weeks later ‘Mum an’ Dad are gonna be livin’’ apart’.”

“ . . . that’s rough.”  
“Yeah, it fuckin’ is.” Spike muttered.

Xander blinked his wide brown eyes up at Spike and licked his lips, “Well . . . sometimes I wish my parents would get a divorce-”

“Don’ _ say _ that!” Spike snapped, standing up and grabbing his bag, Angel should _ be _here by now!

“I’m sorry, I just-”

“People always say shit like that like it’s funny! ‘Wish I got two birthdays an’ holidays’, ‘wish I could pick where I live’, an’ ‘must be nice not ta have ta share’, yeah right, it’s super duper havin’ my sister an’ my mum in a whole other country!” He shouted at Xander who flinched back and shrank, “Why don’cha wish ya were adopted too while yer at it? Hear that one too! Cuz I really liked my father walkin’ out on us or my mother offin’ herself when I was three! Real great gettin’ passed around fer years b’fore someone could be bothered ta take ya!”

Xander didn’t say anything, his face pale and he just blinked at Spike, flinching every time the blonde moved. Spike blinked, realizing he’d said too much and his hands were shaking, he quickly turned so he wouldn’t have to face the brunette, “ . . . sorry.”

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry it was stupid.” 

He heard Xander stand up and move closer, Spike sighed, “Thanks for invitin’ me this mornin’ but I don’ think yer friends care fer me.”

“Oh nevermind them, Buffy and Riley are just suspicious and overprotective. Her parents got a divorce when she was little so she would understand and Tara’s mom isn’t around anymore. Mine aren’t so great either, to be honest.”

Spike turned around and Xander was _ right there _so he leaned back a bit, “Well . . . “ he sighed and moved to sit back on the steps.

Xander joined him again and smiled, “You know, you look really tough but you’re not so bad, I can tell.”

“Can ya now?” Spike asked, checking his phone and looking at Xander.

“Yup, I think you’re a good guy, just a little snarky.” Xander’s smile widened, “Don’t worry, they’ll warm up to you. I can already tell that Oz and Tara like you and Giles is stuffy but he’s super nice. Oh! And you’ll love Buffy’s mom! Joyce is the best, she’s basically like all our mom and sometimes we go to Buffy’s for movies and we get popcorn and snacks and stay up to watch the late night monster movie! Oh, you should come next weekend! I can ask for you if you want!” Xander smiled then bit his lip, “If you want, that is.”

Spike blinked, he’d never had someone so desperately want him around, he nodded slowly, “‘m sure Dad won’ mind bein’ free’a me for a night. Sure.”

Xander’s eyes got impossibly wide and his smile stretched to near-painful limits, “that’s awesome! I’ll talk to the others, it’ll be so cool!”

“S-Sure.” Spike found himself smiling and the tips of his ears reddened just as Angel’s car pulled up, he slowly stood up and cleared his throat, “Well, I’ll see ya tomorrow then.”

“Y-Yeah!” Xander smiled, “Guess I better get going too, long walk home.”

“You . . . walk? How far?” Spike glanced at the car then back to Xander.

“Couple blocks. No big deal.” Xander shrugged sheepishly, looking at his feet and twisting his backpack strap in his fists.

“Ya want a ride?” Spike asked, nodding his head toward the car.

Xander shook his head quickly, “Oh, uh, no thanks, I can manage. See ya!”

Spike watched him run off down the street then slowly went to the car and got in, Angel smiled, “No calls from the principal, was it an eclipse or something?”

“Har har.” Spike muttered, doing his seatbelt after getting the look.

“You have a good day?” Angel asked, pulling out of the parking lot.

“I guess.” Spike leaned on the door, slumping in his seat and looking out the window.

“Who was that you were talking to?”

“Xander.”

“And who is he?”

“Kid I helped the other night. He goes here.” Spike shrugged.

“That’s all I’m getting, huh?” Angel glanced at Spike, adjusting his sunglasses.

Spike shrugged, “I don’ know much else either. Him an’ his pals have a lil’ book club an’ there were donuts. Some English bloke is the librarian here, Giles. Some’a Xan’s friends are roight nits tho’, like that Buffy girl an’ her Neanderthal boyfriend, always givin’ me nasty looks. Tara is nice an’ Willow’s okay too. Xan invited me ta go watch movies at Buffy’s next weekend, guess it’s somethin’ they all do.”

“‘Xan’?” Angel’s eyebrow rose.

“Xander, yeah.” Spike blinked and shrugged again.

“Sounds like you know quite a bit. I’ll see how the week goes before I say okay to anything. Also would like to know if _ Buffy _and her parents invited you.”

“It’s just her mum, Joyce.” Spike shifted and leaned back in his seat.

“Okay, then I’ll need to talk to this ‘Joyce’ before I commit to letting you spend the night anywhere. Fair enough?”

“Don’ even know if I wanna go.” Spike said but secretly he felt a spark go off in his chest, he hadn’t done anything innocently fun like watch movies with friends since he was little. Something about that made him really happy.

“Well, if you still want to go by then, we can work it out.” Angel shook his head and smiled, “Hey, you.”

“Yeah?” Spike lolled his head to the side to look at Angel.

“I’m proud of you. I think this is gonna be a good fit for us and I really, really want things to work out for you, kiddo.” He smiled, taking his sunglasses off to regard Spike, “He seems like a nice boy.”

Spike’s cheeks flushed, “The fuck is that s’posed ta mean?”

“Nothing,” Angel looked back to the road, “Just that he seems like a nice boy.”

“I guess.” Spike muttered, looking back out the window.


	3. Half a Step to the Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike learns some things about Xander and his pals . . . and himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/CW: Homophobic comments

Spike was downstairs eating his breakfast, hot chocolate and plain toast when Angel walked in, he looked up as the brunette made a beeline for the coffee pot, "mornin'."

Angel poured a cup and groaned, carefully sipping the steaming beverage, "you're up early."

Spike shrugged, "school."

Angel glanced at Spike’s breakfast then went to the fridge and got out a container, sliding it to Spike, "here, cantaloupe, get a fruit in you."

Spike wrinkled his nose but opened the Tupperware and plucked a fruit slice out, eating it slowly while Angel watched him, "Wot?"

"Just … you, up early and ready to go, it’s … it's a nice change." Angel leaned on the counter, turning his mug in his hands, "... so, do those kids always hang around early like that?"

"Dunno." Spike shrugged.

"Oh, okay." Angel sipped his coffee then took a long gulp, sighing gratefully to the liquid energy.

Spikes eyebrow rose, "why?"

"I just feel better about dropping you off early if you have people to wait with you " Angel shrugged.

Spike frowned, "why? I think I can just sit quietly."

Angel blinked and sighed, pushing his mug across the counter-top, "No, William, I mean because then you aren't all alone and if something happens there's other people around. Like if you got hurt or something."

Spike grimaced and chewed a mouthful of cantaloupe, "oh, sorry."

"Kinda getting sick of you assuming the worst when it comes to my intentions." Angel muttered.

"Force'a habit." Spike mumbled.

"Won't be if you keep behaving, here I was going to say that I was proud of you, it's nice that I feel I can trust you a smidge because I _ want _to trust you, Will, I want to let you do fun stuff with your friends and go out and all that." Angel pulled a stool out and sat down.

Spike shrugged, "Sorry, ‘m workin’ on it."

"Glad to hear it," Angel smiled, "so these pals of yours, can you find out if they always hang around in the morning? If there's somewhere specific, I could drop you off there so you won't be alone."

"Kay." Spike finished his hot chocolate and leaned back. They are in silence then Angel got the keys and Spike grabbed his coat and bag, "whatcha doin t'day then?"

"Couple things need my attention from the office. I swear Gunn and Wesley are going to lose it if these clients fall through." Angel snorted and shook his head, "at least they have Fred and Lorne to keep them from losing their minds."

Spike looked at his boots, "I miss Freddy an’ Lorne, they were cool."

Angel smiled, "I'll let them know you say hi, I'm sure they miss you too."

"They'd better!" Spike pouted and followed Angel to the garage and got into the passenger seat, "when ya gonna let me get m'license?"

"When I don't have to worry about you trashing whatever vehicle I put in your charge." Angel smirked

"Come off it, 'm a good driver! Just like goin' fast." Spike slumped in his seat.

"The fact that you already know that and you haven't even gone through the courses is exactly why I'm waiting." Angel gave Spike a look.

Spike grimaced, "it was only four times."

"With a Viper, a Thunderbird, a Ducati and my red Porsche. You were very lucky all four times that you weren’t hurt." Angel kept looking at him, "But I swear to christ if you'd taken the Rolls out, I would have shipped your ass to Alaska."

Spike sank lower, "the Viper wasn' m'fault."

Angel gave him another look but didn’t comment further as they pulled out of the driveway.

* * *

"Hey! Spike!"

Spike barely had a foot out of the car before Xander was running up to him, "uh hey, Xander."

"Um so, I asked Giles about you joining the Scoobies and-"

Angel leaned to the side to see Xander and cleared his throat, "Hi there. I'm Will's dad."

Spike pulled a face, "well anyway, I'll see ya, Dad."

"Oh, hi, I'm Xander Harris." Xander looked down and waved awkwardly.

"I hear you’re keeping Will in line around here." Angel teased.

"Well, I-" 

"_ Bye, Dad!" _ Spike snapped.

Angel chuckled, "alright, alright, see ya after school, kiddo."

"_ Yep." _ Spike scowled, his fingers tapping on the car door.

"It was nice meeting you, Xander. I love you, Will." Angel waved then Spike shut the door and turned toward the school.

Xander hurried to catch up to Spike, glancing over his shoulder, "your dad seems really nice."

"I guess." Spike shrugged one shoulder, "so do yer pals meet in the mornin' or wot?"

"No, it's just me the rest of the week, we just do breakfast on Mondays." Xander grimaced as they came to the bench and sat down.

Spike blinked at Xander, "oh well good thing I ate at home then."

"Y-Yeah…" Xander looked at his hands.

Spike was reaching in his backpack for something to occupy his time when he heard Xander’s stomach growl, "Geez, Xan, didn eat enough brekkers?"

Xander looked at Spike, his cheeks turned crimson and he gave a nervous chuckle, "Uh, yeah, guess so …"

Spike frowned and stared at Xander, "Y’alright?"

"I'll be fine, I generally tough it out til lunch so you know it's not such a big deal-" Xander started to babble.

"Tough it out-?" 

"-and like it's not so bad, I'm used to it, really-"

"The _ hell _does that mean-?”

"-so don't worry about it, I mean, I try not to bother people with my problems." Xander shrugged then winced, clearly having stomach cramps.

"Xander!" Spile snapped, finally able to get a word in.

Xander flinched, his eyes wide, "yeah?"

Spike sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, "I don’ judge."

Xander looked at his hands and swallowed, "Monday’s the only day I get breakfast."

Spike was quiet then he stood up, looking around, “There a corner shop ‘round here somewhere?”

“H-Huh? Oh, uh, yeah just a few blocks that way.” Xander pointed down the street.

Spike nodded and checked his phone, “Thanks.” He turned and shouldered his backpack.

“No problem.” Xander sat back on the bench.

Spike stopped a few feet away and jerked his head, “Oi, ya comin’?”

Xander blinked and looked around then quickly grabbed his bag and trotted up to Spike, “What for?”

“Company.” Spike shrugged.

They walked in silence for a bit then Xander swallowed, “You . . . aren’t going to tell anyone, are you?”

“ 'bout wot?” Spike asked, putting a cigarette between his lips.

“The, uh, breakfast thing.” Xander’s hands tightened on the already tattered straps of his backpack.

Spike blinked and cleared his throat, “ . . . sure.”

Xander breathed out in relief, “Thanks.”

They walked in silence for a bit longer then Xander started to prattle on about some show he saw once at Willow’s house and Spike just let him talk and talk. He glanced at Xander every so often and nodded even though he didn’t know what show it was and wasn’t really invested beyond it being something Xander was interested in. And that was when Spike stopped in his tracks and stood perfectly still, Xander stopped a few steps ahead after he realized Spike had stopped walking. He quickly turned and came to stand next to Spike again and waited.

Spike cleared his throat, trying to find an excuse for why he’d stopped, “We’re . . . shit, can’ get smokes here, can I?”

“No.” Xander shook his head.

“Bollocks,” Spike groaned and fidgeted, then shrugged and kept going, “I’ll figure it out.”

“Should we head back then?” Xander pointed back toward the school.

“Naw, almost there aren’ we? Might as well keep goin’.” Spike shrugged and started walking again.

“But if you can’t get cigarettes, why do you wanna go?” Xander frowned in confusion, walking faster to keep up with Spike.

Spike didn’t answer beyond shrugging again but he felt a tightness in his chest and his mouth was so dry, heart pounding, he glanced at Xander who was giving him this look of concern. He sobered up quickly, laughing shortly and grinning, “Just need a soda.”

“Oh okay then! So anyway, in the next scene-”

Spike relaxed once Xander went back into fully-animated babble-mode, they got to the gas station and the guy behind the corner gave the two teenagers a look as the door chimed, announcing their arrival. Xander sort of stood off to the side, glancing at the magazines but otherwise stayed near the door. Spike glanced at him, “Ya want sumthin’?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, no thanks, I’m fine.” Xander gave him a half smile, staring at his shoes then back to the magazines and comics.

Spike grabbed the ‘adult’ mag with the piece of bright purple paper in the sleeve to cover up the cover, “Can see wot’s got yer attention.”

“You have to be eighteen to buy that!” the attendant called, glaring at Spike.

Spike snickered, “don’ need ta buy a dirty mag ta see tits loike that, mate.”

Xander’s cheeks turned red and he giggled nervously, “Spike!”

“Either way, put it back, kid.” The man frowned, his eyes narrowing.

“Okay, okay, easy there,” Spike put it back and held his hands up innocently then he looked at Xander, “Ya want anythin’? Fer breakfast?”

Xander blinked then blushed deeper, “I-It’s okay . . .”

“Ya haven’ eaten, go get sumthin’.” Spike said more forcefully. Xander grimaced then obediently went to an aisle and came back with a package of cheap cookies. Spike nodded slowly, “An’ sumthin’ ta hydrate with too.”

Xander’s whole face turned red now, he swallowed and grabbed a bottle of juice from a chiller, “ . . . you don’t have to-”

“Want ta, we’re pals, ain’ we, Xan?” Spike muttered, reaching about in his pockets for his wallet as the attendant rang them up, he kept eyeing the boys suspiciously but didn’t comment as Spike handed him several bills and dropped the change into a tin for an animal shelter.

Xander kept his eyes down as they walked back, his ears were still red and he clutched the juice and cookies tightly in his hands, he glanced at Spike who was lighting a cigarette and he spoke in a very quiet voice, “ . . . thank you.”

“Don’ mention it,” Spike muttered around the dart, “By the by, m’dad says he needs ta talk ta Joyce b’fore ‘m allowed ta go over anywhere fer an overnight.”

Xander looked up, his eyes wide, “Oh! Uh, sure! Does this mean you’d want to come then?”

“Thought that was wot I was bloody sayin’?” Spike cocked an eyebrow.

Xander snorted, “Guess I should have figured that, huh?”

Spike hummed in agreement then looked at Xander, “Gonna eat that or wot?”

Xander opened the cookies and started scarfing them down, “Hey can I ask you something?”

“When yer mouth ain’t full, sure.” Spike grimaced at seeing the mashed up cookies.

Xander rolled his eyes, making a big show of chewing and swallowing before talking again, “So, like, have you . . . have you actually . . . done stuff?”

“Specifics might help here, done wot? I’ve done a lotta shit.” Spike snorted, scanning the school front as they came up to it again.

“With . . . you know, with a girl.” Xander chuckled nervously and crumpled up the package once it was finished.

Spike looked at him and shook his head, “No. Not exactly sumthin’ I think ‘bout that much.”

“Oh, okay, me neither.” Xander looked relieved and grinned.

Spike cleared his throat, “Wot ‘bout . . . wot ‘bout with a guy?”

Xander choked on his juice and spit it out on the sidewalk, “Gah! _ What _?”

Spike quickened his pace a bit and shrugged nonchalantly, “Nuthin’! Just curious, I don’ judge.”

“Uh, well, no, I haven’t done anything with anyone.” Xander wiped his mouth and hurried up to Spike, “Jeez for a short guy, you walk _ really _fast.”

Spike stopped short and rounded on Xander, “‘m not short!”

Xander snorted, the top of Spike’s head came to his nose, “Right . . . “

Spike scowled, “I could kick yer ass.”

“I’m sure you could.” Xander nodded, giving him a very patronizing look.

They started walking again but Spike’s heart was still racing and he was sweating under the duster. Despite the jab at his height, he was grateful the question was quickly forgotten as Xander, now nourished, launched into another run-on sentence about a comic book he had read that he really liked but couldn’t remember the name of because the cover and the first few pages were missing on his copy.

* * *

Spike walked into the locker room and quickly made his way to the far end to change for PE, he grumbled the whole time as he unlaced his boots, “‘Ya got outta it last time cuz yer new, go change’. Suck m’left nut, ya warthog-faced-”

“Hey.”

Spike blinked up at Xander and cleared his throat, “Hey yerself.”

“I hate PE right before lunch.” Xander sat next to him and started to take his shoes off, “It’s like, I’m super hungry and you want me to _ run _? What sense does that make?”

“Yeh, i’s bullshit.” Spike agreed, “I hate runnin’ anyway an’ I can get enough physical stuff at a dojo so-”

“Dude!” Xander’s head finally popped out of the neck of his hideously printed shirt after a grand struggle, “You know martial arts?”

“Well . . . some.” Spike shrugged, “Dad stopped really lettin’ me do much when I got inta more fights but he’s outfittin’ one’a our downstairs rooms fer us both ta work out in.” 

“That is so cool! I mean, the dojo thing, not the fights thing but jeez, you’re like some kind of Bruce Wayne! Except British! Is there a British version of Batman?” Xander asked, undoing his belt.

“We have Batman in England too.” Spike shook his head in amusement and pulled his shirt off then started to wrestle his tight jeans off.

“Oh! Oh, I know! You’re James Bond!” Xander laughed, “Rich, British, good talker, girls love you-”

“Wot?” Spike blinked at that, reaching for the uniform he’d been given (white shirt with the school logo on the left side and plain blue shorts) to change.

“Well, _ yeah _ .” Xander gave Spike a condescending look like he was thick, “Have you not noticed how girls practically throw themselves at you? I mean, c’mon, at The Bronze you had like six _ college _girls dancing with-”

“Wait,” Spike stopped with the shorts halfway up his legs, “You were at The Bronze?”

Xander blinked and he gaped for a second, “Uh, uh, well, only for a little bit! See, the Scooby meeting went long and I thought I would catch hell for getting home late anyway so I might as well have some fun but then those jerks saw me and chased me out the back by the bathrooms where I came in and-”

“Ya snuck inta the club?” Spike’s eyes were wide, maybe Xan wasn’t such a white knight goodie-goodie after all?

“I . . . “ Xander fidgeted and stood to get his jeans off, “yeah . . . “

“Holy shit.” Spike laughed, “Yer bloody well fulla surprises, ain’cha?”

“Well-”

“Hey, if you two aren’t too busy making out, get out here for laps!” The coach shouted into the locker room.

Spike rolled his eyes and yelled back, “Wouldn’ ya loike ta join us, ya pervert?”

Xander had to bite his fist to hold in a whoop of laughter and they hurriedly changed, ducking past the gym teacher who grabbed Spike’s shoulder, “You think you’re funny, don’t you, Mr. Aurelius?”

Spike glanced to the side, seeing he had a captive audience of the class, he smirked, “Think ‘m a laugh riot, yeh.”

“You’re well on your way to detention, young man.” What was this ass’s name again? Johnson? Anders? Wilson?

“So wot, ya can make homophobic comments but I can’ call ya a pervert? Seems loike b’tween the two’a us, yer the one on thin ice.” Spike said through clenched teeth.

“I’m a teacher!” Yates? Bennington? Carter?

“An’ ‘m an impressionable youth,” Spike pulled his arm out of the man’s grasp, “With a father that could buy this whole town twice over. Wouldn’ look good fer ya if I told him ya made me uncomfortable in the locker room, would it?”

There was quiet as thirty pairs of eyes fixated on them (Madison! That was it!), Coach Madison blinked then his eyes narrowed, “Are you threatening me?”

“Yeah.” Spike nodded, “I absolutely am.”

Another beat of silence and Coach Madison cleared his throat, “Right, well, thanks to Mr. Aurelius, you’re all running more laps. Get going!” He blew on a whistle and everyone groaned and shouted at Spike but he didn’t care as he fell in step next to Xander.

The brunette looked at him and shook his head as they ran, “The hell was that?”

“Don’ loike it when people think they can say shit ta people loike that. Bein’ a bully.” Spike muttered, glaring over his shoulder at the very smug-looking teacher, he’d have to make a conscious effort to forget his name again.

“But, now everyone’s gonna beat you up or something!”

“They can try, I don’ care.” Spike snarled, glaring at Xander now, “Think it’d be better if I didn’? Think they wouldn’ spray-paint ‘fag’ and shit on our lockers if I kept my mouth shut? Fuck that! They’ll-”

“Aurelius! Harris! Less talking, more running!” Coach Douglas shouted and blew his whistle.

Spike gave him the two-finger-salute and Xander stifled a giggle. By the time Coach Willis blew his whistle again, they were sweaty and exhausted, tripping their way to the showers and leaning on each other. Spike was just peeling off his shorts and grabbing a towel when he was stopped by a kid with a buzz-cut and two almost identical cronies.

The blonde looked the bigger boys up and down then slung his towel over his shoulder and tilted his head, “Can I help ya fine gents?”

“Think you can.” Buzz-cut said, narrowing his eyes.

“Well, out with it then,” Spike crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes.

"Leave Coach Madison alone or-"

"Or ya’ll wot? Beat me up? G'head, I'll let'cha get the first hit in fer free." Spike tilted his chin up and waited.

Buzz-cut blinked then grit his teeth, turning toward the shower, "Faggot."

"Ya wish." Spike muttered under his breath and went to the showers.

* * *

"Hey! Spike! Over here!"

Spike glanced around before he saw Xander excitedly waving at him from down the hall, a lunch tray in hand. The blonde waved and turned in his direction, only noticing now that Xander was following Buffy and Company toward the library, "'Sup?"

"We usually eat in the study room with Giles." Xander smiled at him.

"It's not supposed to be public knowledge, Xander." Buffy muttered.

"Where's yer toy soldier, Summers?" Spike asked, "Run outta batteries, did he?"

Buffy's face turned scarlet and she scowled, "He eats with his friends!"

"Wot? Those Neanderthals that threaten people in showers?" Spike said snidely but was cut short as the library door opened and Giles was standing there frowning.

"Will you be joining us for lunch, William?" He asked, returning Spike's scowl with a small smile and a glint in his eye.

"Depends _ Rupert _, got tea on?" Spike asked, grinning cheekily at the older man’s frown. “Where’s Oz?” Spike asked, looking at the three girls and noting the quiet musician missing.

“Oz gets second lunch since he’s a year above us,” Willow explained, “So he’s already eaten.”

“Oz is a year older?” Spike blinked, “Bloody hell . . . never woulda thought.”

“He gets that a lot.” Tara nodded.

They sat around eating, Spike kept putting food on Xander’s tray which the brunette didn’t comment on, just quietly taking the apple, pack of pretzels, half sandwich and jello as Spike nudged them closer. Giles crumpled up the brown paper bag his own sandwich had been in and threw it away, he nodded toward Spike, “Tea?”

“Only if ya brewed it roight.” Spike held up a finger and gave him a look, “How long ya lived in the states, Rupert?”

“Almost a decade, but I still remember how to make tea.” Giles went to a small table in the corner with an electric kettle, he grabbed the teen a mug of tea and pushed it across the table carefully, “Sugar?”

“_ Please _.” Spike said, mimicking Giles's proper accent and putting his pinky finger out as he idly stirred the steaming drink, much to the delight of the other teenagers who all started to giggle behind hands.

Giles cocked an eyebrow but handed him a small pot of sugar, “How long have you been in country?”

“‘Bout four years, Dad moved us here after he got the job with his firm in New York,” Spike began piling sugar into his tea, smiling pleasantly at the older man.

“And it only took that long for you to forget King’s English?” Giles sipped his own tea black.

Spike snorted, “Dunno, mebbe I should try an American accent?” He cleared his throat and tried to mimic how Xander sounded, “Boy, I sure do loike American football an’ cheeseburgers!”

“Hey, we don’t sound like that!” Buffy said but the others were laughing too hard to care.

“Excellent try, _ Spike _,” Giles shook his head, “Will you be joining our little club or are we too stuffy and boring for you?”

Spike sipped his tea, “Why does everyone act loike I can’ read or don’ loike books just cuz how I look?”

“I said I was sorry.” Xander mumbled, sitting back and yawning, “You gonna join?”

“Well . . . “ Spike leaned back, pretending to mull it over then he saw Xander’s face and the tight feeling in his guts was back. The brunette was looking at him like his heart would break if the blonde said ‘no’ so he just shrugged as nonchalantly as he could muster, “Sure, why the hell not?”

“Excellent, I’ll get you a permission slip.” Giles said, “More tea?”

“No,” Spike put a hand over his mug and tilted his head, “Permission slip?”

“We meet on school grounds so hoops and all that.” Giles got up and left for a moment then returned with a piece of paper, “Just a formality, really.”  
“Mhm.” Spike perused the paper then folded it and stuffed it in his pocket, “Try an’ remember ta give it ta Dad.”

“Your vote of confidence is overwhelming, thank you.” Giles chuckles and held up his cup in salute.

* * *

The rest of lunch went by rather quickly and then the day dragged on, Spike groaned and collapsed on the bench once the bell had rung and he could smoke. He looked up when Xander sat down and the brunette was staring at the ground. Spike blinked and lit his cigarette, “Someone kick yer puppy, Xan?”

“Thank you.” Xander said softly, clutching his backpack straps tightly.

Spike blew out smoke and frowned, “Fer wot?”

“Just . . . you bought me food this morning, stood up for me at gym and gave me most of your lunch . . . you listen to me . . . “ Xander shrugged, “I mean, you were drunk and didn’t know me when you met me but you took a beating from those jerks . . . so thanks.”

Spike stared at him then cleared his throat, “No worries, mate.”

Xander made a sound and wiped at his face with his sleeve, “You’re a really nice person, Spike.”

The blonde had to look away as his face threatened to break into a face-splitting smile, "Keep yer voice down, 'm punk delinquent is at stake.”

“You are not a punk delinquent.” Xander snorted, looking at Spike with watery eyes.

“I am,” Spike stood up, blowing smoke into the air and struck a pose, “‘m a horrible, punk-ass delinquent!”

Xander laughed, “You’re about as dangerous as a kitten.”

Spike clutched his chest and gave Xander an appalled look, “Ya wound me, sir! M'reputation is at stake! Quick call me some nasty names or sumthin’ b’fore people get the wrong idea!”

Xander laughed more, shaking his head, “You’re ridiculous!”

“Not quite wot I was goin’ fer but-” Spike was cut off by a football hitting him square in the back of the head and knocking his cigarette out of his mouth, “Ow! Wot the fuck?”

“Oh, sorry, blondie, didn’t see you there.”

Spike turned around and it was Buzz-Cut and his two cronies except Riley was standing with them now, Xander quickly got up and picked up the ball, holding it out to Riley, “Maybe you guys should play somewhere else?”

“Xander-” Riley started, reaching for the ball.

“Buffy know her boy-toy’s mates bully her friends?” Spike said loudly, glaring at Riley.

“Look, Spike, just leave Coach Madison alone, okay?” Riley said, holding the ball and grimacing.

“Leave Coach shit-fer-brains alone when he was also bullyin’ one’a yer girl’s pals?” Spike asked, still talking loudly.

“Listen here, you little bastard,” Buzz-Cut stepped forward, pointing an accusing finger at Spike, “You-”

“No, _ you _listen here,” they turned and there was Angel, putting his cellphone in his pocket and removing his sunglasses, “William, Xander, is everything okay here?”

“I dunno, Dad,” Spike turned to Riley and narrowed his eyes, “Is it, _soldier boy_?”

Riley handed Buzz-Cut the football and gave him a nudge, “Yeah, everything’s fine, see ya, Spike.”

Spike glared after them then looked at Xander, “Buffy know her bloody boyfriend lets his mates push ya ‘round?”

Xander blinked then looked down, “I . . . try not to say anything.”

Spike scowled then huffed, “Ya need a ride home?”

Xander looked up so quickly that his hair flopped back, “Oh, uh, no, it’s fine, I, uh, I mean-” His eyes flicked between Angel and Spike.

Angel smiled, “If you want a ride, it’s fine, Xander.”

Xander blinked at Angel, licking his lips, “Um . . . o-okay.”

Spike slung his arm around Xander’s shoulders, “C’mon. Ya can tell Dad yer address in the car.”

They sat in the backseat while Angel got in the driver’s side, “Seatbelts, please, and no smoking in my damn car, William, I swear I tell you this almost every day.”

Spike scowled and put the pack of cigarettes away, “Think someday ya’ll catch on?”

Xander shifted nervously and told Angel his address, “Um, you really don’t _ have _to drive the whole way.”

“It’s no trouble.” Angel smiled in the rearview at Xander, “So what was with the jocks out front today? You’re not getting into fi-”

“No, Dad, I did not get in a fight.” Spike said loudly in a bored voice and rolled his eyes, “Gym teacher was bullyin’, I called him out an’ now the meatheads are mad cuz I don’ loike bullshit.”

“A teacher?” Angel frowned, “What’d he s-”

“Dad,” Spike said loudly again, “Later. Please.”

Angel was quiet a moment then nodded, “okay.” He cleared his throat, “How was school otherwise?”

“Fine, got a permission slip fer the book club thingummy that Xan an’ his pals do.” Spike pulled it out and leaned forward to drop it on Angel’s lap, “They do breakfast on Monday an’ meet after school every Thursday an’ on the weekends at some shop in town.”

“It’s the, uh, the Magic Box.” Xander said, “It’s just like a holistic bookstore that Giles runs on the side. It’s got all sorts of really neat stuff too! Like he has a real skull that’s supposed to be a vampire’s!”

“And this is a school based club?” Angel’s eyebrow rose.

“Yeh.” Spike gave Angel a look.  
“A book club?” 

“Yeh.”

“Alright, I’ll take a look at it. I’d also like to meet ‘Giles’.” 

Xander leaned forward a bit, “Um, you can just drop me off here.”

“Here?” Angel pointed at the street, “It’s a few house numbers further, isn’t it?”

Xander fidgeted, “Um, y-yeah, it’s just . . . “ He was quiet for a few seconds then sat back.

Angel nodded and pulled over, “Okay, have a good night, Xander.”

“S-Sure, thanks Mr. Aurelius. Bye Spike!” Xander quickly exited the car and hurried up the sidewalk to a house that looked pretty run-down.

Spike got out, watching Xander until he got in the door then moved around to sit in the front seat. Angel slowly pulled back onto the road, he glanced at Spike and cleared his throat, “What’s going on?”

“Nuthin’, why?” Spike blinked, genuinely confused.

“Just, in general, what’s up? How’s school? You seem to have made a fast friend with Xander and are joining a book club so either you’re gearing up to hit me upside the head with the juvenile crime of the age or . . . you’re okay again. So, what’s going on with you?” Angel asked softly.

Spike glared at him, “Thought this was wot ya bloody well wanted?”

“What I want is you to be happy, healthy and safe. Two of those I can give to some level despite your best efforts, but the third is something i can only do so much with,” Angel shrugged, “So . . . I guess what I’m really asking is, are you happy?”

Spike blinked then looked out the window, “No.” 

“Anything I can do?” Angel looked at him with brow furrowed and his mouth doing that weird grimace.

“No.”

Angel sighed, “Al-”

“Not unless ya get back with Mum an’ we move back ta England.”

Angel breathed out and shook his head, “That’s not happening.”

“I know, just would make me happy.” Spike shrugged.

“Glad to hear it, that wouldn’t make your mother or me happy.” Angel’s voice was tight and his knuckles on the steering wheel were tighter.

“I know,” Spike said quickly, “Wot I mean is, I’d be happy if things had stayed okay fer all’a us. That you an’ Mum hadn’ had a fallin’ out, that me an’ Dru were still ‘round enough ta annoy the hell outta each other, that Penn didn’ have ta be on the other side of the country fer his thing. I miss m’old school since m’friends haven’ bothered ta call me which feels _great_ . . . I even miss Granddad Heinrich . . . “

Angel pulled into their garage and turned off the car, staring through the windshield, “He never liked me, Heinrich I mean. Always thought I wasn’t good enough for Darla.”

Spike blinked at Angel in surprise, “Huh?”

“I loved your mother a lot,” Angel said and he looked at Spike, “And she loved me and we just . . . it didn’t last and I wish it had. I thought I was okay since my first wife passed but I wasn’t, Will, I wasn’t ready. And I dragged all you kids into it too.”

Spike was quiet then he leaned forward to put his head on Angel’s shoulder, “S’okay, Dad, me an’ Dru an’ Penn’ll never stop lovin’ ya.”

Angel cleared his throat and hugged Spike tightly, “I love you kids so goddamn much, it’s killing me to not have your siblings here too . . . “

Spike hugged Angel back and breathed in shakily, his dad’s cologne was so familiar and comforting, he swallowed as he thought of Xander and the rundown house, how he was hungry all the time, how he went to school early every day ‘just to be somewhere else’ and he clung on tighter to Angel.

* * *

“First week is almost over, how are things going?” 

Spike smiled up at Darla on his laptop computer in the front room, “Pretty good, Mum, made some friends, joinin’ a book club.”

Darla smiled, “That’s wonderful, darling! And you’re behaving at school?”

“One week in and I haven’t gotten a single call if that means anything,” Angel said from his chair across the room, flipping the newspaper page absently, “Starting to get suspicious, Darla.”

“Oh ha ha.” Spike muttered, sticking his tongue out at Angel, “I’ve been good!”

“Well, I’m happy to hear it.” Darla smiled then looked off to the side, “Oh, William, darling, will you let Daddy use the computer? Drusilla wants to say hello.”

“But it’s my time!” Spike whined, pouting, “She can call on her own bloody time!”

“William, don’t be that way, come on,” Angel put his newspaper aside and got up.

Spike pulled the computer closer and shook his head, “Nuh-uh! Get yer own!”

“Spikes! Let me talk ta Daddy!” Drusilla could be heard loudly off-camera.

Angel snatched the laptop and smiled at the screen, “Hey, Princess! How’re things?”

“Wonderful, Daddy, now that we don’t have smelly boys around.” Dru said, giggling.

“Oi!” Spike snapped, crossing his arms and glaring wounded-ly at the laptop.

“How’s school been, Dru?” Angel asked, nudging Spike so he could sit on the couch next to him.

“It’s borin’ but alright, Daddy,” Dru smiled, “I’ve got a recital for Christmas, Mummy said she’ll record it so you can see.”

Spike’s face fell and he got off the couch, moving to the window, Angel grimaced then smiled, “That’s great, Dru, looking forward to it.”

Spike wandered out and went up to his room, flopping onto the bed and pulling his backpack out. He sighed and then shoved it to the side, he’d look at homework later . . . he took his phone out and started looking at the pictures he’d taken that day. Most of them were Xander, the brunette hadn’t noticed Spike taking the photos at all. The blonde smiled a little at the dorky boy’s smiles and how big his eyes got when he was excited . . . how he fidgeted and babbled when something excited him . . . how red his face got when you did something nice for him. Spike swallowed as he scrolled through all the pics, his chest got tight and he felt a rush of blood to his face.

_ “Uh, well, no, I haven’t done anything with anyone.” _

Spike bit his lip and slowly ran a hand over the duvet then down to his waist, he breathed slowly through his nose when his fingertips reached the zipper of his jeans. His erection throbbed as he pushed down on it, Spike breathed out and licked his lips. The blonde rolled onto his back and undid his belt, still looking at his phone screen, it was a picture of Xander and one of his comic book with his eyes all wide and his cheeks a bit red. Spike pushed his jeans and boxers down his thighs, his cock throbbed and he quickly wrapped his fingers around the shaft. He stroked his hand down to the base, pulling the foreskin back and he took a slow breath before bending down, curling his spine and spreading his legs until he was able to get the head of his cock into his mouth. 

He thought about Xander’s voice, the adorable babbling and blushing, he imagined what it would feel like to kiss that rampant mouth halfway through a full-on rabbit-trail spiel. Spike swirled his tongue over his cockhead and his fist moved faster as he thought of Xander’s hands, how they must feel to hold and feel on his face, in his hair . . . between his legs. Spike had to pop out of his own mouth so he could breathe raggedly, “F-Fu_ ckkkkkkk _!”

He came, tears rolling down his face and he quickly went to the bathroom to wash the shame off before dinner.

* * *

“You coming to the meeting tonight?” Xander asked as he and Spike made their way to the library at lunch.

Spike held up the signed permission slip, “Yup, Dad an’ Mum thought it was a good idea that I be kept busy.”

“Oh.” Xander looked a little disappointed.

Spike rolled his eyes and gave him a light shove, “An’ i wanted ta join, ya tosser, ‘m just takin’ the piss.”

“You’re _ what _?” Xander pulled a face.

“Makin’ fun, havin’ a joke,” Spike explained, “Anyway, ‘m all set ta come ta the meetin’ t’night. Wot’re ya readin’?”

“Well right now we’re gonna go through _ Dracula _, Buffy got really interested in vampires and stuff but none of us wanted to read that one series because it’s . . . I dunno, don’t like it. So Giles suggested the other one and we all agreed we’d do a whole vampire thing! It’s actually been pretty cool learning about the lore of stuff and things.” Xander smiled excitedly, “I got a couple comic books with Dracula so we’re gonna go through those too!”

“Neat.” Spike smiled and held the door open, “Oh, ‘ang on, I got sumthin’ for ya.”

“Huh?” Xander stopped and looked curiously at Spike.

Spike reached into his backpocket and put a bag of candy on the brunette’s tray, “‘ere, Dru sends me big boxes o’ candy an’ snacks from back home in jolly ol’ England but I never make through em fast enough.”

“Oh wow, thanks!” Xander smiled widely.

“Got loads more,” Spike shrugged, fighting to keep his face from giving away how Xander’s gratitude affected him, “I can bring ya more t’morrow.”

“Really? You don’t mind?” Xander asked carefully, “They’re from your sister-”

“Don’ worry ‘bout it, ‘m serious when I say she sends loads, I got a huge box full’a snacks back home.” Spike shook his head, “Lemme know if ya don’ like sumthin’, I’ll tell her not ta send em next time.”

“But-”

“Xan, seriously, I don’ hardly like sugary snacks so yer doin’ me a favor.” Spike held his free hand up.

Xander smiled again, “Okay, thank her for me then.”

“Sure.” Spike waited until Xander turned and went in to bite his lip and hold in an excited noise, a shiver running through himself. He’d done good, real good.


	4. Two Steps to the Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike becomes more involved in the Scoobies and comes to some unsettling theories, Angel makes some friends, and Xander and Spike have a few . . . interactions.

“Okay but think of this, like what _ if _Batman figures out that Superman is Clark Kent and-” Xander said, his hands moving emphatically.

“Xander,” Spike groaned, rolling his eyes, “I know exactly where this is goin’.”

“C’mon, here me out!” Xander said, pouting a bit as he looked around at the group, it was Thursday after school and he, Spike, Willow and Tara were waiting for Oz, Buffy and Riley, “He figures it out because he’s a super detective but promises to keep the secret-”

“In exchange fer a date with Louis, we _ know _Xander, ya told us this idea yesterday,” Spike propped his cheek on his fist, smiling slightly, “Just write the damn fanfiction an’ get it outta yer system b’fore ya cream yer pants.”

Xander blushed and scowled at Spike, “Yanno, _ William, _you could be less of a dick.”

“It’s part of his charm.” Tara smiled.

Spike pointed at her and smiled, “See, she gets me.” he winked at the generally shy girl and she turned scarlet, “Ya’ve prattled on so much that Red over there has her headphones in.”

Xander blinked and looked at Willow who was in fact listening to music and slowly bobbing her head, lips moving a bit with words only she could hear, “What? Ah, Will!”

Willow’s eyes were closed mostly and Spike narrowed his eyes, he nudged Tara’s arm, “Wot she listenin’ ta?”

“Oh, probably Tegan and Sara. She likes that kind of music.” Tara smiled as the redhead bobbed her head again, her shoulders moving ever so slightly.

Spike watched Willow for a moment then the door to the study room opened and Giles came in with Buffy and Oz behind him, “Sorry we’re a bit late, all, Riley couldn’t make it, he had-”

“Another bullyin’ session?” Spike asked loudly, sneering when Buffy scowled.

“Practice.” Oz said, a little louder than his usual tone.

Giles’s eyebrow arched disapprovingly, “Basketball, I believe.”

“Sup, Oz?” Spike held up a fist that Oz bumped and sat next to him, “Found a new voice?”

“My friend Drew has good pipes, he's gonna try out.” Oz shrugged.

“Hm,” Spike rolled his head to the side on his neck and blinked at Willow, “Oi, Red, we gonna start soon.” Willow didn’t appear to hear and Spike rolled his eyes and disconnected her headphones only to start laughing as a Britney Spears song was suddenly blaring through the small room, “_ Toxic _? Really now?”

Willow turned scarlet and hurried to pause the music, “Spike!”

“You recognized that from two notes.” Oz pointed out.

Spike sputtered and tried to make excuses while the room stifled their giggling, Giles polished his glasses and sighed, “If you all don’t mind, I believe we were going over chapter five and it was yours, Xander?”

Xander blinked then licked his lips, “Um . . . so, this book is . . . really hard.” He looked down at the copy they were using and his ears reddened.

Before anyone could say anything, Spike scooted over and nudged him, “How far’d ya get? That chap is just Mina an’ Lucy writin’ back an’ forth an’ a bit from Quincy.”

They looked at him, Giles cocked an eyebrow, “You’ve read it before, have you?”

“While ago, yeh,” Spike shrugged then nudged Xander again, “How far’d ya get?”

“It isn’t that I don’t understand it,” Xander said quickly, “I’m not dumb, I just, it’s hard to read when the words don’t stick in place.”

“Ya got dyslexia’r sumthin’?” Spike asked, frowning.

“Maybe? I don’t know.” Xander shrugged, still not looking at the group.

“He’s improved a lot since the club started,” Willow said quickly to save Xander further embarrassment, “So that’s a good thing!”

“Indeed, you made it through the last series without help at all.” Giles said, setting a cup of tea down and began to stir it.

“This one’s harder.” Xander mumbled.

“‘Ere, I’ll help ya,” Spike said quickly, “We’ll get through it.”

Xander looked at Spike and he smiled a bit, “Thanks.”

Spike smiled and turned the book, he let Xander slowly go through the words on the page while the others followed patiently along. After a while they finished the chapter and Spike was desperately trying to convince them that Mina and Lucy were- “They were bangin’!”

“Oh come on, Spike, where do you see that?” Buffy laughed.

“Hang on, I wanna hear this,” Willow said, her and Tara were leaning forward, “Where do you see that?”

“She fuckin’ says ‘I am longin’ ta be with you, an’ by the sea, where we can talk t’gether freely an’ build our castles in the air.’! C’mon! Willow, Tara, wouldn’ this be sumthin’ a lesbian would tell another woman?” He turned to the two girls, “Wouldn’ ya write that in a note ta each other?”

“I mean, I would.” Tara said softly, fiddling with a string in her sweater.

Spike gestured to her, “I rest m’case.”

“Sounds like you’ve got your own fanfiction to write.” Xander teased.

Spike sniffed, “Maybe I will? I could write steamy lesbian fanfiction.”

“Typical male, fetishizing women and lesbians.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Well he’s a virgin so-” Xander started then froze, “Uh.”

Spike blinked at him, “Ix nay on the irgin vay, eckerhead pay.”

Xander frowned, “Huh?”

“I think,” Giles said a bit loudly though he seemed pretty amused, “We have reached our ti-”

There was a knock on the door and Angel popped his head in, “Oh, sorry, I thought you’d be done by now.”

“Finishin’ up, Dad.” Spike said, grateful for the interruption, “Hey, d’ya suppose Mina an’ Lucy were shaggin’ in Dracula?”

Angel blinked, “Um, wha-”

“I assure you,” Giles said quickly, standing and pushing his glasses up his nose, “That is not normally what our discussions are about.”

Angel looked at Giles and he cleared his throat after a moment, “Believe me, knowing William, he drove it that direction with reckless abandon. You must be Mr. Giles?”

“Rupert,” Giles said, holding his hand out, “I moonlight as a librarian here.”

Angel smiled, taking Giles’s hand, “I’m Angelus, but my friends call me just ‘Angel’.”

“Certainly a fitting name.” Giles said softly, smiling at the brunette.

“Huh?” Angel blinked.

Giles cleared his throat, releasing Angel’s hand, “Despite his best efforts, William has been a very welcome addition to our little group. He’s a very well-learned young man.”

Angel chuckled, “Well, his mother and I did our best.”

The teenagers looked at each other then up at the two adults, Spike frowned, “Oi, ‘m roight here!”

“Oh, uh, right,” Angel rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, the reason I’m here is I brought pizza so . . . “

Xander and Oz helped carry in a few boxes of pizza and some bottles of soda. Angel and Giles were talking rapidly about ‘back home’ while the teenagers wolfed down pizza. Xander leaned over to Spike, “I’m sorry I spilled the beans on you being a virgin, I didn’t mean to say that.”

“S’alright, I imagine everyone except Buffy are too.” Spike shrugged.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Buffy demanded, putting down her slice of plain cheese.

“Means wot it sounds loike,” Spike rolled his eyes, “How long you an’ Captain Forehead been t’gether?”

Buffy glared at him, “Riley and I have been dating for a year.”

“I rest m’case.” Spike shrugged, “If yer not shaggin’ then wot-”

“_ William _.” 

The blonde looked over at Angel who was giving him a disapproving look, “Wot?”

“You know ‘what’.” Angel’s voice dripped in warning, “Other people’s lives are none of your business.”

Buffy gave Spike a rather triumphant look and went back to her pizza while Spike stuck his tongue out at her. They finished eating until people’s parents started calling them to come outside and there was just Spike, Xander, Angel and Giles left. Xander rooted about for another piece of pizza while Spike went through his phone, glancing at Angel and Giles who were now drinking tea and giving each other looks that made the blonde teenager _ very _suspicious. He was about to throw a crumpled piece of paper at them when Xander yelped and leapt to his feet, upsetting an empty box and getting everyone’s attention.

“Alexander, are you alright?” Giles asked, frowning in concern.

“I-I just looked at the time! Oh, I am _ so _late! I-I need to get home!” Xander wrung his hands and hurried to pick up the box and put it in the trash, biting his lip to bruising.

“Your parents don’t come pick you up?” Angel asked.

Xander blinked then looked down at his feet, “W-Well . . . um . . . “

“We’ll give you a ride,” Angel said quickly, “It’s still fairly early.”

“W-Would you?” Xander asked, his wide eyes shiny and hopeful.

“Sure we will.” Spike put his feet down off the table and stood up, grabbing his coat, “Let’s go ta the car. Keys?”

“No driving?” Angel asked, holding the keys out.

“Yes, yes, no drivin’!” Spike said, a bit impatient to get Xander home as the brunette twisted his backpack straps anxiously. It was a wonder the straps weren’t frayed beyond use . . . 

“I should be locking things up anyway,” Giles said helpfully, “I can drop Xander off.”

“If you don’t mind? It is kinda in the opposite direction we’re going.” Angel admitted.

“I usually give him a ride on Thursdays, it’s no trouble, we just lost track of time.” Giles smiled reassuringly.

Spike grabbed Xander’s arm and steered him out of the library and toward the door, “Shoulda said sumthin’, Xan, if it’s late fer you.”

“I’m sorry!” Xander said as he tripped behind Spike, “I was just- oh god, I’m in so much trouble . . . “

Spike stopped just outside, glancing impatiently behind them, “Of course he found the one person in this town that can swap stories with him . . . “

Xander fidgeted, “Sorry . . . “

Spike blinked, “We’ll get ya home, Xan, it’s alroight.”

Xander looked at Spike and his lip shook slightly, “Not if Mom and Dad are awake, it won’t be.”

There was silence and Spike moved closer, “They sleep early?”

“No, they drink late.” Xander whispered then he looked like he’d just given away a massive secret, “I-I gotta go, I’ll make it faster if I just-”

“Alright, let’s go, Xander.” Giles called as he and Angel came out the door and the brunette boy hurried to Giles’s car to bounce impatiently, “It was a pleasure meeting you, Angel, I’m sure we’ll see each other again?”

“Of course, thanks for looking after my kid, Rupert.” Angel smiled and walked over to the car, “Ready to go home, kiddo?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Spike glanced at Xander, “See ya tomorrow, Xan!”

“Yeah, don’t forget it’s movie weekend!” Xander called and waved before ducking into the car.

Angel started the car once Spike got in and he smiled, “Well, that’s a nice little club, seem like a good bunch of kids too. It was nice to talk to someone who knows places from when I was a kid as well. Rupert seems nice too and he was telling me about Joyce since he knows her so if you want to go tomorrow, I don’t see a problem with-”

“Dad.” Spike cut in loudly, looking out the window.

Angel blinked out of wherever his mind had gone and blinked, “Yeah?”

“I think . . . I think Xander’s bein’ abused.” Spike said softly, licking his lips.

Angel was quiet for a moment, then asked in a serious, quiet voice, “How do you figure?”

Spike took a slow breath, “Comes ta school hungry, clothes come from a bin an’ they’re dirty or smell funny, nervous ‘bout bein’ on time home, an’ . . . how he acts . . . stuff he lets slip . . . “ 

Angel didn’t say anything for a moment or two, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Spike looked slowly at Angel.

“I can only do so much with a hunch, no, c’mon, don’t roll your eyes at me,” Angel talked fast, a sure sign the gears were whirring away, “I _ do _believe you, I know you wouldn’t just accuse people of these kinds of things for no reason. This is just a very delicate and complicated issue.”

Spike sighed, “I know . . . “

Angel reached over and stroked his fingers over the back of Spike’s neck, “You’d know better than anyone, it’s okay, William, I’ll do what I can for your friend.”

Spike leaned into Angel’s touch and swallowed, old memories shifted out from being safely tucked away and he squirmed in his seat, “ . . . Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I . . . can I sleep with ya t’night?” Spike asked in a small voice.

“Of course.”

* * *

Spike wandered into Angel’s room after showering, changing into his pyjama bottoms and t-shirt and taking out his contacts, Angel was sitting up with a book in hand, “Wotcha readin’?”

“Something Rupert suggested,” Angel murmured then turned down the duvet on the other side of the bed, “Did you brush your teeth?” Spike stood in the doorway for a moment or two until Angel looked up from his book, “Hey, what’s up?”

Spike stared at Angel and swallowed around the huge lump in his throat, “ . . . ya have any idea how lucky I feel e’eryday I wake up an’ this isn’ all just a dream?”

Angel blinked at Spike then put a bookmark in his book and set it on the nightstand, “Aye, an’ there’s sumthin’ ta be said ‘bout how lucky I feel ta be yer da.”

Hearing Angel’s old Irish brogue rumbling up from the past hit Spike in a way he wasn’t prepared to deal with, memories of being comforted by it at night when nightmares found him or hearing it over his head as he hid his face from a stranger. Spike watched helplessly as Angel got out of bed and hurried over to give him a tight hug moments before he broke down.

“Shhshh, me darlin’ boy, shh, ‘m here, Da’s here, A stóirín.” Angel’s voice rumbled above him as his father carefully took his glasses off and led the way back to the bed, “Don’ cry, Will, s’alright.”

Spike crawled into the bed with Angel and snuggled up to him, catching his breath, “I-I dunno wot the hell’s wrong with me . . . “

“Well,” Angel’s accent slipped back down and he tucked Spike against his chest, “I’d imagine you’re having-”

“I _ know _why ‘m cryin’, Dad, I just . . . I thought I was over all that shit.” Spike mumbled, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand.

“Trauma doesn’t just go away, William.” Angel murmured, stroking back Spike’s curls that were still damp.

“Wish it would.” Spike closed his eyes, listening to Angel’s heartbeat.

“ . . . do you need to talk to someone again? It’s been a few years but if you want, I can set up an appointment.” Angel enclosed Spike in a tight hug.

Spike shook his head, “‘m alroight fer now, Dad, just thinkin’ is all.”

“Okay but if you need to-”

“I’ll let ya know.” Spike yawned hugely and closed his eyes, “Thanks fer the pizza.”

“Well, trying to make good impressions, I don’t know anyone here either.” Angel shrugged.

Spike blinked and sat back a bit, it hadn’t occurred to him that Angel was also new in town and didn’t have the advantage of going to school to meet new people. He was home all day in conference calls and video meetings, “ . . . why don’cha see if Giles wants help with the club?”

Angel’s eyebrow rose, “I was under the impression I cramped your style?”

Spike sighed, “Yeah but I don’ _ hate _havin’ ya ‘round.”

“I wouldn’t mind chatting with Rupert and if I’m to believe what he says about Joyce then I think I’ll get along with her as well.” Angel smiled and Spike could tell he was relieved.

Spike laid back down and snorted, “When’s yer an’ Rupert’s weddin’? Practically snogged over the table t’night.”

Angel cleared his throat and tapped Spike on the head with his book, “That’s enough out of you for one night, thank you!” but his cheeks flushed a bit and Spike snorted, cuddling into his pillow. Angel looked over at him and sighed, stroking a hand over Spike’s back, “I also like having you around. As for Xander, if anything comes up, let me know and I’ll see what I can do.”

“M’kay.” Spike mumbled, letting his eyes close.

“You’re such a great kid, William.” Angel murmured and bent down to kiss Spike’s temple.

* * *

Xander had a black eye. 

“Sure yer alroight ta go anywhere t’night?” Spike asked again as they waited outside, Angel was going to drive both of them to Buffy’s for movie night. He reached into his coat pocket and produced a Twinkie™ which he pushed into Xander’s hands, the blonde had shoved two coat pockets-worth of snacks into Xander’s possession over the course of the day. Originally he’d meant to store them in his locker for days when Xander didn’t have breakfast but on seeing the bruised ocular, he couldn’t help himself.

Xander, for his part, had stopped trying to refuse the snacks and tore it open, shoving half of one into his mouth, “‘m fine, Spike, really.”

“Still not gonna tell me who did it, are ya?” Spike lit a cigarette and sighed.

“No.” Xander said firmly, shoving the rest of the Twinkie™ into his mouth, not looking at Spike.

“Okay, i’s just . . . “ Spike sighed and nodded, “Okay.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes then Xander cleared his throat, “So, we’re gonna watch a vampire movie tonight since we’ve been reading Dracula. Since we read Goosebumps last time, we watched The Ice Cream Man, it was really really funny!”

“‘M sure we won’ be watchin’ the Dracula movie with Reeves an’ Ryder.” Spike snickered, “Not exactly ‘age appropriate’ as Dad would say.”

“Huh? Why not? Is it really gory or something?” Xander looked up, crumpling the wrapper and tucking it in his pocket to throw away later.

“_ Sumthin’ _yeah.” Spike snickered again then looked up as Angel’s car pulled up, “Here we are.”

“Put that out before you get in my car, William.” Angel called after rolling down the window, “How are you, Xander?”

“I’m good!” Xander called and waved.

“You can get in the car if you want, Xander, you don’t have to wait for Will.” Angel was staring at Xander with that little wrinkle of concern between his eyebrows.

“It’s fine, but thank you!” Xander smiled and glanced at Spike, “Dude, hurry up and smoke that, Joyce always has good snacks waiting.”

Spike rolled his eyes and snuffed the cigarette out even though it was only halfway gone, “Alroight, let’s go then.”

Xander hopped up and hurried over to get in the backseat, “Thanks for the ride, Mr. Aurelius, usually I’d go home with Buffy but-”

“I am much better company, roight, Xan?” Spike said as he shoved into the backseat.

“Buffy doesn’t have ash-breath.” Xander wrinkled his nose and leaned away.

Spike blinked then rifled about until he found a stick of gum, peeled the wrapper off and shoved it into his mouth, chewing it obnoxiously, “How ya feel ‘bout spearmint?”

Angel rolled his eyes, “Xander, you’ll have to help me with directions.”

“Oh yeah! Okay so-” Xander leaned forward between the front seats.

Spike leaned back, slowly chewing his gum, he had expected Angel to drill Xander for information about his eye, in fact, Spike had been counting on it since his friend had refused to give him any information. He thought since Angel usually would drill him about every scrape that he’d do the twenty questions and the truth would come out and Spike would have a name for whoever was getting a boot up the arse but . . . nothing. Angel asked Xander a few questions about directions and smiled as Xander chattered all about the last movie they’d watched. Spike sat back in his seat, chewing his gum and stewing.

* * *

“Hi! Sorry we’re a bit late, we went down the wrong street cuz I was talking too much.” Xander’s ears were red as the door opened on Willow who was wearing an oversized sweater with a black cat on the front wearing a witch’s hat and had candy corn fangs and what appeared to be a dark purple nightgown underneath it and slippers of black cats.

“That’s okay! We were just hanging out! Hi, Spike.”

Spike nodded his chin and shouldered his duffel, “Hey, Red, wot we watchin’?”

“Well . . . “ Willow sighed as Angel came up the steps, “The thing is-”

“Xander!” A girl came out of nowhere and jumped up into Xander who only just managed to catch her.

“Oof! H-Hey, Dawn,” Xander laughed, “What’s u-”

“Oh, what happened to your eye?” The girl, who looked to be about twelve, frowned, her long brown hair was tied back in pigtails and she was also wearing pyjamas.

“Football.” Xander said quickly.

The girl, Dawn, looked up at Spike then at Angel and she stepped back, “Who’s the punk and hunk?”

Angel laughed at Spike’s ‘Oi!’ and smiled, “Hello, Willow, is Buffy’s mom in? I think I should introduce myself before dropping Will off.”

“Yanno, it’s gonna be real confusin’ if ya keep callin’ me that.” Spike muttered, “‘m Spike.”

“‘Spike’? Like a dog?” Dawn looked completely unimpressed by Spike which was kind of a first really, most younger kids wouldn’t even make eye contact.

Spike growled, showing his teeth, “Careful, _ Dawn _, ‘m not housebroken an’ I bite.”

“Joyce is here, come on in.” Willow stepped back to let them all in.

Dawn took Xander’s hand and led him into the living room to the left, “C’mon, Xan! Buffy and Riley are so _ boring _but Tara is showing me about Tarot! It’s so cool!”

Spike watched Xander shrug and give him a guilty look as he hurried to follow the little girl while Willow lead him and his dad down the hall, Spike took note of all the Fall and Halloween decorations on the way to the kitchen where a woman Angel’s age was wearing a long green apron with ‘The Kitchen Witch Is In’ on it in curly letters while she slowly rolled half a hot dog in a dough square, her shoulder length curly blonde hair held back by an orange headband with little Halloween-themed beads sewn on it. She looked up when the door opened and quickly wiped her hands on her apron, “Oh! Hello there, I wasn’t expecting- Goodness, you caught me looking like a crazed housewife!”

“Sorry,” Angel said, “I’m Angelus, I’m just dropping my son off for the night, I called yesterday to ask-”

“Oh! Oh, you must be Spike!” Joyce smiled warmly at Spike, “Heard quite a bit about you from the girls and Rupert, you are every bit as handsome as I thought.”

Spike felt his cheeks reddening and he looked down at his shoes, honestly taken aback and he fumbled for something to say but Angel laughed and put a hand on his shoulder, “Well, there’s a first, William at a loss for words.”

“Oh, is it ‘William’? They kept saying ‘Spike’ so I thought-”

“He goes by ‘Spike’ generally,” Angel chuckled, now both hands on Spike’s shoulders, “But his mother and I call him ‘William’.”

“Well, what do you prefer, sweetheart?” Joyce asked.

Spike blinked at her for a moment then blurted out in a cracked, soft voice, “William’s fine.”

“‘William’ it is then.” Joyce smiled, “You can go get comfy in the living room with the others if you want, I have more than enough help in here I think.” 

Spike nodded dumbly and wandered out just as Angel was leaning on the counter, “Well, that’s another first. So, Joyce, you don’t mind me hanging about a bit?”

“Oh, not at all! Rupert was supposed to come by and help but something came up so if you don’t mind a cow-print apron, I could use a second pair of hands, Angelus.”

“Don’t mind at all, and just ‘Angel’ is fine.”

Spike blinked and went where the other kids were sitting about, Buffy and Riley were sitting on the couch giggling with Buffy wearing a pyjama set with breakfast food on it and Riley in just some blue flannel pants and a plain shirt. Willow and Tara were sitting cross-legged on the floor with a deck of Tarot cards while Xander sat with Dawn in his lap. Xander looked up and waved, “Hey, Spike, come here and find out when you’re gonna get married or something.”

“That’s not how that works.” Tara giggled and drew a card, smoothing her baby blue nightgown, “Well, I mean, for the most part.”

Spike shrugged out of his coat and plopped onto the floor, Xander smirked and leaned over, “Met Joyce, did you?”

“Uh, y-yeah.” Spike nodded and swallowed, “Her an’ Dad are chattin’ now.”

“She’s awesome, isn’t she?” Xander’s smile widened.

Dawn narrowed her eyes at Spike, “So you been to jail?”

Spike snapped out of whatever space his head had been in and snorted, “Maybe.”

“No.” Xander said, rolling his eyes, “Spike hasn’t been to jail.”

“Well why are you here in Sunnydale?” She pressed.

“M’dad moved us here ta get a change’a view. Los Angeles wasn’t a good fit. That’s all.” Spike shrugged.

Dawn nodded slowly, “Got any siblings?”

“Yeh, m’older brother an’ sister, Penn an’ Drusilla.” Spike leaned forward and glanced at the cards, “Ya s’posed ta have two five’a cups?”

Willow and Tara blinked then the redhead groaned, “We got our decks mixed up in my bag! I knew we should have sprung the extra two bucks for a case!”

“I had a hair tie on it . . . “ Tara mumbled.

“Oh, it’s okay! We’ll just reshuffle and sort them!” Willow smiled and reached over to squeeze Tara’s hand.

Dawn frowned, still on Spike, “_ That’s _your brother and sister’s names?”

Spike scowled at her but before he could defend their names (they weren’t _ that _strange, what the hell?), Xander cleared his throat, “Wot we watchin’?”

“Well, since Dawn is here tonight, Mom said ‘no’ to our first lineup so we’re watching ‘The Little Vampire’.” Buffy sighed from where she’d moved to sit on Riley’s lap.

“It’s a good movie!” Dawn defended.

“It’s a _ kids _ movie.” Buffy muttered.

“_ You’re kids! _” Dawn snapped.

“I like that one.” Tara offered.

“See?” Dawn crossed her arms, “You guys get to do fun stuff all the time without me!”

“It’s fine, Dawny, we don’t mind,” Xander smiled, giving her a hug, “Do we, gang?”

There was a general murmur of reluctant and probably not entirely genuine agreement and Spike stood up, “Are pyjamas the standard uniform fer this event then?”

“Oh, yeah, we usually get changed as soon as we get here,” Xander nudged Dawn off his lap, “C’mon, we can go upstairs and-”

“Stay out of my room, I don’t want anyone _ snooping around _.” Buffy muttered, giving Spike a very pointed look.

“Why? ‘Fraid we’ll find yer vi-” He stopped when he realized not only was Dawn looking up at him but his father was a doorway away chattering with Joyce but could probably still hear him, “Alroight, I won’ snoop in yer room, not that I’d _ want _ta do that anyway.”

“Good.” Riley said, fixing Spike with a look that was probably meant to be a warning as Buffy smirked and leaned into him.

“I’ll ask Joyce.” Xander stood up, rolling his eyes and he hurried over to lean in the kitchen doorway, “Hey, Joyce, where can me and Spike change?”

“Don’t you normally change in Buffy’s-” 

“No!” Buffy said loudly.

Joyce came out, wiping her hands on her apron despite them being spotless, “Oh, alright, alright, you two can go up in my room. Food will be ready in a few minutes, kids and Buffy, couch or floor.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and sat on the couch instead of Riley, “So, what kind of jammies do you wear, Spike? I’m picturing some feety-pyjamas, maybe bright pink?”

Spike frowned, “I sleep in the buff.”

There was a general clamor of revulsion and Angel’s voice came from the kitchen, “No, you don’t!”

Spike snorted then looked at Buffy, blowing her a kiss as Xander ushered him toward the stairs, “Why do you goad her like that?”

“She goaded first!” Spike pouted, “No one ever takes my side!”

“Because you’re obnoxious!” Xander laughed and they went into a very neat, clean room.

Spike snorted, “Joyce says ‘m handsome.”

“Well, she’s not wrong.” Xander shrugged and dropped his backpack on the floor, rifling until he produced some green tartan pyjama shorts and a brown long-sleeved shirt with some cartoon character on it that Spike vaguely recognized.

He blinked halfway through taking his shirt off then pulled it all the way over his head and dropped it on his bag, “Ya think ‘m handsome, Xan?”

Xander blinked then rolled his eyes, “I’d have to be blind not to.”

Spike watched Xander shrug out of his zipper hoodie and his shirt, licking his lips, “So ya _ do _think so?” 

“Sure.” Xander smiled and wiggled into his sleep-shirt before dropping his jeans.

“Oh, well, thanks.” Spike smiled crookedly and reached for the plain t-shirt and sweatpants he’d packed.

“Don’t mention it.” Xander pulled his shorts up and started to roll his clothes up and stuff them back into his backpack.

“Yer pretty cute too.” Spike said before he could stop himself and he almost bit through his tongue.

Xander blinked and laughed, “No, I’m not, quit foolin’!”

“‘m . . . ‘m not foolin’,” Spike defended, figuring he’d said it so now he had to stand by it, “Ya are, in an awkward puppy kinda way.”

“Oh, well thanks.” Xander smiled brightly.

“‘M gonna be a minute, gotta piss, go on ahead’a me, yeh?” Spike said.

Xander nodded, “Okay, the bathroom is in the hall.”

“Cool, thanks.” Spike gave him a thumbs-up just as they heard the door downstairs open and excited talking.

“Oh, that’ll be Oz, I’ll bet. See ya downstairs!” Xander smiled and left the room.

Spike breathed out as he listened to Xander’s gratefully loud footsteps going down the stairs then he changed into his shirt and sweatpants as fast as he could, grabbed his bag and went into the bathroom and closed the door. Spike sat on the closed toilet for a moment or two and took several deep breaths, fighting against that tightness in his chest and the lump in his throat. What the hell was wrong with him? His erection throbbed against his thigh and he was very glad he’d opted for briefs instead of boxers today.

* * *

“Alright, kids, we got all sorts of goodies ready for you!” Joyce called, she’d hung up her apron and gestured to the kitchen’s breakfast bar where there were loaded plates full of cookies, bars, and finger-food, “There’s soda in the fridge, Xander you get _ one _if it has caffeine and I made lemonade. Please grab a napkin for that, Riley, it’s a bit gooey in the middle. And if we get hungry later, I got the pizza place on speed-dial!”

Xander whooped and was first in line with the rest of them hurrying to their feet. Angel was leaned against the counter with a mug in his hand, he was smiling and his shoulders were relaxed which gave Spike pause for a moment, he wandered over, tucking his plate under an arm as he waited for the line to go down, “Enjoyin’ yerself, Dad?”

“Very.” Angel smiled, “You?”

“Mhm,” he held up a hand showing off that some of his fingernails that weren’t already painted black had rather sloppy purple on them, “Dawn practiced paintin’ nails on me.”

“Spike said I did a good job.” Dawn beamed then shoved half a ‘dirt’ brownie with gummy worms sticking out of it into her mouth.

“Dawny, please make sure you get at least a hot dog in you before you eat too many brownies.” Joyce put a fresh batch of pigs-in-a-blanket on the counter, “There’s ketchup and mustard in the fridge if anyone is interested.”

“That you did,” Angel nodded to Dawn then he nudged Spike, “Hey, proud of you, kid.”

“Fer wot?” Spike blinked up at Angel, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“This is a good crowd,” Angel shrugged, “One whole week down and I haven’t had to raise my voice once, people were starting to think I was a smoker, I yelled myself hoarse so much.”

“_ William is a very nice boy _,” Buffy said loudly in what sounded like an old woman’s voice, “He’s not so bad, once you get him to stop acting like such a punk asshole.”

“Language, Buffy,” Joyce said, moving over, “I’m glad you think so, these kids are a good bunch.”

All the kids beamed at the praise as they piled their plates and hurried out to the living room, Spike hung back to pick out his own food, paying close attention to how Joyce and Angel kept joking and talking, Joyce poured Angel some more coffee and they were sitting at the counter together. He frowned slightly but made a show of picking out a soda as Angel looked around, “You do this every weekend?”

“Well, nothing this big every weekend,” Joyce laughed, picking out a cookie shaped like a bat, “It’s just that it’s Halloween and it’s all the kids’ favorite holiday. Generally I’ll make them cookies or bars and the parents take turns bringing dinner for them. Rupert comes by most times but he was busy tonight so I was so relieved when you hung around.”

“You know Rupert well then?” Angel asked.

“Oh, well,” Joyce smiled into her mug, “Yes, he’s a lovely man and he does a lot for the kids. Honestly he and I do this for the kids but also for each other since he doesn’t have anyone and I’ve been divorced for a while now.”

“You mentioned.” Angel nodded, “Still this is really nice.”

“This must all seem so paltry compared to what you ha-”

“It’s not.” Spike said, closing the fridge door and holding a can in his hand, he slowly turned around to look at Joyce, “I’ve been ta some’a the best schools in the country, ‘ve known kids who’re my age an’ have cars worth two’a yer house, ‘ve been ta birthday parties fer six year olds that are catered an’ DJ’d.” He shrugged, “This is better.”

Joyce smiled and stood up, putting her hand on Spike’s shoulder, “Can I give you a hu-?”

Spike hugged her tightly before she could finish asking, “I loike this so much better.” He broke the hug and looked at her, smiled then grabbed his plate.

“Well, thank you, William,” Joyce said, “I look forward to you returning to the Summers house.”

Spike nodded and winked, “It’s a date.” earning him a raised eyebrow from Angel and he hurried into the living room, “Better watch out, Summers, think yer mum is sweet on me.” 

Buffy snorted, “You wish!”

“Movie’s starting.” Oz said, crunching into some caramel corn.

Spike sat down next to Xander and leaned back as the movie opened, “Do you guys have plans fer Halloween then?”

“Sure, there’s the Fall dance next Friday so we don’t meet up then but,” Xander finally swallowed the bite of candy apple he’d been tearing through, “On Saturday we go trick-or-treating together, it’s a lot of fun!”

“Ya still do that?” Spike asked, looking around curiously.

“Yeah,” Buffy shrugged, “We take Dawn and her friends too so it’s not like a bunch of teenagers, you know?”

“Oh, cool.” Spike had to curb his enthusiasm, “Haven’t gotten ta do that much since comin’ ta the States.”

“Huh? Why?” Willow looked over.

“Too busy being cool?” Riley asked.

Spike shrugged, “Crowd I was ‘round the most thought it was stupid, didn’ wanna do it alone.”

“Rich kids think a lot of stuff is stupid, don’t they?” Xander said, frowning.

“Well . . . “ Spike shrugged again and sighed, “ . . . yeh.”

“Do you think stuff is stupid cuz you’re rich?” Dawn asked, looking at Spike with wide, curious eyes.

“No.” Spike shook his head, “I loike lotsa stuff an’ ‘m not rich, m’dad is.”

“What’s the diff-”

“Hey, bud, I’m gonna get going home before it gets too late,” Angel leaned into the living room.

“Fine, cool, bye.” Spike waved dismissively to Angel, pretending to be vastly interested in the life of Tony Thompson and his pal Rudolph.

Angel leaned in further, “I love you, William.”

Joyce chuckled as Spike hunkered down and scowled, “Oh, William, come give your father a hug, you silly boy!”

Spike blinked and much to his and everyone else’s surprise he got up and gave Angel a rather reluctant hug, “Bye.”

“Be good, alright?” Angel gave him an extra squeeze then released the teen who hurried back to his spot, “Joyce, it was a pleasure, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again very soon.”

“That would be lovely, I’ll see you out.” Joyce smiled and they both disappeared.

“Forget you, I think Joyce is sweet on your dad.” Oz murmured, smirking at the death glare that both Buffy and Spike gave him.

The snacks didn’t outlast the movie and a pizza was ordered and devoured, the movie finished and Joyce came in, “Dawn, bedtime. The rest of you can stay up for another movie if you’d like or there are board games and such in the basement, Buffy knows where things are. Help yourself to anything else and I’ll be in my room until about eleven then it’s bedtime for everyone.”

Everyone but Dawn seemed fine with this plan, “Why do I have to go to bed early? I want to stay up too!”

“Because they’re fifteen and sixteen and you’re twelve, that’s why. We talked about how this would work, Dawny, now upstairs.” Joyce put a hand on her back and gave her a little push to the stairs.

“Fine, they’ll probably do stupid stuff like spin-the-bottle and gross stuff like that.” Dawn muttered.

Once she was ushered upstairs and doors closed, Willow hmm’d and giggled, “How ‘bout it gang, spin-the-bottle?”

“Eh . . . I dunno.” Riley glanced at Buffy, “Seems kinda-”

“Weird?” Oz said, hopping off the couch and picking up a half-empty soda bottle.

“Yeah, that.” Buffy agreed.

“Wot’s wrong, soldier boy, ya ‘fraid ya might loike kissin’ these lips?” Spike puckered and pouted his lips and Riley snorted and rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go first.” Oz offered, shrugging as he sat on the floor and set the bottle down in front of him on it’s side.

“C’mon, guys, it’s not that weird.” Xander chuckled nervously and sat down across from Oz.

“I’ll put m’money where m’mouth is.” Spike sniggered and sat halfway between Xander and Oz, though his heart was trying to claw it’s way out of his chest.

Willow and Tara took a seat with Riley and Buffy both shrugging and also sitting down, Oz put his hand on the bottle and spun it, they all held their breath then there were giggles as it landed on Riley. Oz shrugged and before Riley could say anything, gave him a peck on the lips, everyone laughed when Riley sputtered and wiped his mouth then he laughed and shrugged, “Okay, it’s not so bad.”

“There see? No tongue, no weird.” Oz laughed and reached for his own lemonade.

“Okay, Riley’s turn!” Buffy said and she leaned forward as Riley spun it, her fingers crossed.

“Oop!” Willow giggled as it landed on her, “Oh this is so silly though!”

Riley gave her a quick kiss and patted Buffy’s shoulder, “Don’t worry, I doubt I’ll turn her suddenly straight.”

“Hope not!” Tara teased.

Willow spun it and it landed on Xander, “Oh! Well, uh, sorry Xanny.”

Xander’s cheeks flushed as she kissed his cheek and he shuddered, “Ugh it’s like if I had a sister!”

“Oh I know!” Willow wiped her mouth on her sweater, “Ew!”

“Xan’s turn.” Spike said, leaning back then frowned when it landed on him, “Ah.”

Xander’s ears matched his flushed cheeks and he grimaced then turned toward Spike, Oz started tapping his fingers on the floor in a drumroll and Tara and Willow were doing a ‘oooh’ thing while Xander leaned in and pressed his lips to Spike’s. He didn’t pull away for several seconds, long enough for Spike’s hands to twitch with the urge to cup the brunette’s face, rub their noses against each other then put their foreheads together once it was broken. Xander’s eyes were even closed and Spike felt Xander’s lips move ever so slightly against his and Spike was just about to attempt to slip Xander some tongue just to see if that was where this was going when he pulled away and laughed, “There, Spike’s turn!”

Spike was frozen for a moment before he laughed too and reached for the bottle, “Comin’ fer you, Glinda.” He said, nodding to Tara.

“Oh Auntie Em, Auntie Em.” Tara rolled her eyes and smiled that soft, smile of hers.

“I’ll get ya m’pretty!” Spike cackled and spun then frowned when it landed on Xander again, “Oz, did ya load the bottle?”

“Nope.” Oz leaned back.

“You have to kiss!” Willow clapped her hands, “You have to!”

“Those are the rules!” Buffy nodded.

“But, we already-” Spike started, reaching for the bottle again.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” The girls chanted quietly so as not to garner suspcion from upstairs.

“Oh alroight!” Spike turned and lunged at Xander, catching the brunette off-guard and he pressed their lips together again but this time he moved his lips against Xander’s, letting the tip of his tongue lightly brush Xander’s lower lip. Spike pushed himself up, breathing heavily out of his mouth a bit before his heart began to behave again while Xander stared up at him wide-eyed. Spike blinked and sat up, “There, ya happy?”

There was modest applause and the game continued a few more rounds after Xander was helped up by Oz. Oz got a kiss from Xander (arguably much faster than previous kisses), Oz kissed Willow, Willow kissed Buffy and Buffy kissed Riley and the game ended and they went for more snacks and another movie was suggested. 

Spike reached for a brownie and caught Xander looking at him with a strange expression on his face that made the blonde duck his head and not sit next to Xander the remainder of the night.

* * *

“Alright, kiddos, bed. Boys down here, girls upstairs, you all know the drill. Teeth brushed, meds taken and William you need to go get your contacts out.” Joyce stood in the living room doorway.

Spike and the others all got up and trooped to the bathrooms, Spike waited to go last since he was going to rinse the gel out of his hair, once it was his turn he popped out his contacts and grabbed his glasses then knelt in front of the tub. There was a knock on the door and Xander leaned in, “Hey, I gotta pee can I-”

“Sure.” Spike shrugged then turned on the water as he heard the toilet lid being put up and Xander’s bladder being emptied. He turned the water off once he was done and grunted, “Eh, wanna hand me that towel?”

“Uh, sure, just give me a sec.” The toilet flushed and then a towel dropped on Spike’s head.

“Thanks.” Spike stood and ruffled his hair dry, he stood at the sink and hung the towel up and pushed his glasses onto his nose. He sighed and was reaching for a comb to run through his curls when-

“Whoa . . . “

Spike blinked and turned around, “Wot?”

Xander was staring at him with his mouth opened slightly before he blinked, shook his head a bit and shrugged, “I just . . . you look so different like that.”

Spike shrugged, “Well, I-” He would have finished his thought but then there was a knock on the door.

“Hey, guys, other people have to shower or pee too.” It was Buffy.

Spike quickly hung his towel up and exited the bathroom with Xander right behind him, they went downstairs where Joyce and Riley were setting up an air mattress, Riley had a sleeping bag and Oz was already curled up in a blanket on the couch. Joyce smiled, “I make breakfast late since you kids can’t seem to reanimate until almost noon most mornings but if you’d like something sooner there are breakfast bars, yogurt or cereal so help yourself, William.”

“Oh okay,” Spike nodded slowly, “Where’m I bunkin’?”

“You and Xander can have the air mattress.” Joyce put a pair of pillows and a large quilt on said mattress, “If that’s okay.”

“That’s fine.” Xander and Spike said at the same time then they looked at each other.

“Great, William you can put your glasses on the end table by the lamp if you’d like, sweetie. Well, good night boys.” Joyce moved to the doorway then stopped, giving Riley a look and speaking in a little more than a whisper, “I’ve already talked to Buffy but I am a very light sleeper and I’m not stupid, you both know the rules here.”

Riley’s face became bright red and he nodded, not meeting her eye, “I’m sorry, that won’t happen again.”

“Excellent.” Joyce nodded and went upstairs.

“Wot happened, soldier boy? Ya get caught halfway through a shag-” Once more Spike was cut off but this time Riley grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

“Let’s get a few things straight, Aurelius, leave Buffy alone, alright? And leave our relationship alone t-”

“Or wot?” Spike hissed, adjusting his glasses, “Ya’ll beat me up? How ‘bout this, you an' yer pals leave me the hell alone? ‘M not stupid, ‘m not some spoiled rich kid, an’ ‘m not a fuckin’ threat ta any’a ya!” 

“You’re such a-”

“Finish that sentence an’ I’ll _ become _a threat!”

Xander quickly put a hand between them and Oz slowly got up, “Not here.”

“Oz is right, this isn’t the place for this, I mean, there’s really _ no _place for this kind of thing but you both seem hellbent on doing it anyway so,” Xander babbled anxiously, “Just everyone agree to get along, okay? Spike’ll leave Buffy alone and Buffy will leave Spike alone. Cool?”

Riley glared at Spike but let him go, “Cool.”

Spike smoothed his shirt and straightened his spectacles, “Cool. Well, g’night.”

They turned the lights out and he and Xander got into bed, Spike sighed, he never slept well in new places, after almost an hour, he was just closing his eyes to try and do just that when a hand slid up his back. Spike’s breath caught in his throat and he held very still as Xander slowly scooted up behind him. Fingers wandered up to stroke through Spike’s curls and he felt Xander breathe in deeply against the nape of his neck, sending a shiver through the blonde that he bit down on before it was made into a noise. Spile was about to roll onto his back and ask Xander something, what he had no idea, but then Xander rolled onto his other side and scooted away from Spike, leaving the blonde confused and tingly in uncomfortably alert places.


	5. Leap of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike meets highs and all time lows and comes to terms with a lot of things.

Spike woke up to the smell of pancakes and the sound of snoring, he slowly opened his eyes and squinted as the room was fairly bright and he could barely see. Of course he didn’t need his glasses to know that Xander was pressed right against him with one arm flopped over his shoulders. Spike felt himself smiling a bit and he slowly, carefully scooted back into Xander and reached up to pull the brunette’s arm lower so it was across his abdomen instead. He was just settling back to sleep a bit more when Xander grunted and rolled over. The blonde huffed and sat up, reaching for his glasses, no one else was up it would seem so he slowly got up and padded to the kitchen where Joyce was making the pancakes he had smelled upon waking.

Joyce smiled at him, “Good morning, William, did you sleep alright?”

“Mhm.” Spike rubbed at his eyes and yawned, “Xan snores sumthin’ awful tho.”

“A common complaint,” Joyce chuckled, “He’s also been known to talk in his sleep too, according to Willow. Do you want some hot chocolate? I’ve got some in the hot-tap, mugs are in the cupboard and mini marshmallows are on the counter.”

Spike smiled, wandering over to get a mug and slide it under the spout, he pushed the lever down, watching the thick chocolate drink fill his mug before smothering it with the little white puffs, he slowly moved to sit down and wait for it to cool enough to actually drink, “Thanks.”

“No problem! So, your father was telling me all about your family, they seem very nice.” Joyce flipped a pancake before tipping it onto an already prodigious pile.

Spike nodded slowly, “Yeah, they’re pretty nice.”

“Are you very close to them?” Joyce asked then she frowned, “Oh, I’m sorry if I sound like I’m prying.”

“S’alright,” Spike shrugged, “Physically no, Penn’s in New York an’ Mum ‘n’ Dru are in England.”

“Sassy.” Joyce smirked, “Angel told me that Penn is a lawyer as well?”

“Oh yeah, he works in the same firm as Dad, he was s’pposed ta work under Dad but then one’a the senior partners in LA croaked an’ they promoted Dad so we moved. Penn was kinda pissed ‘bout it tho’ cuz Dad’s one’a their best an’ it’d look good on a resume or sumthin’.” Spike sighed, “An’ Dru plays the viola an’ piano an’ cello’ an’ clarinet . . . I mean, I can’ think’a many instruments she can’ play. She’s brilliant.”

“You and Drusilla are very close, your father was saying.” Joyce nodded, “He showed me some pictures, you’re all very good looking kids.”

Spike’s ears reddened, “Well, Dru’s closer ta my age an’ we were adopted ‘round the same time so . . . makes sense we’d be close.”

“Of course,” Joyce finished making enough pancakes to feed an army and put tinfoil over them before moving on to making a fruit salad, “How much older is Penn?”

“He was already sixteen or seventeen when I was adopted an’ I was seven so ‘bout ten years.” Spike shrugged, “He’s alroight tho, he didn’ mind bein’ saddled with two lil kids.”

“That’s great, I know Buffy sometimes doesn’t like Dawn hanging around but they’re good sisters.”

“Yeah . . . Dru constantly tried ta pick me up or have me in her lap even though I was always bigger’n her.” Spike smiled, “She’s got a cat fer that now, Mr. Lumpkins.”

Joyce laughed, “Is that the cat’s name, really?”

“Yeah, Dru always names things funny stuff. We got a lizard one time an’ she named it Slithersten the Jake. Still don’ have any idea where she gets it.”

“She sounds like a lovely girl.” Joyce set the bowl of fruit down on the counter, “More cocoa?”

“Please.” Spike held out his mug and smiled at his sister being praised so, “She’s brilliant.”

“So, Penn’s a lawyer, Drusilla’s a musician, what about you, William? What do you like to do?” Joyce set a now-full mug complete with marshmallows back in front of Spike.

Spike swallowed and shrugged, “Not much, really.”

“Oh? Angel mentioned that you used to write poetry and sing.”

Spike’s eyes widened and his face reddened, “I . . . well I  _ used  _ ta but ‘m not so good at poetry an’ m’singin’ is dreadful.”

“I’m sure it’s all fine.” Joyce shook her head as Oz came in behind Spike, “Good morning Oz, coffee?”

“God, yes.” Oz sat up by Spike and glanced at his mug, “Coffee with marshmallows?”

“Cocoa.” Spike raised his mug and took a drink.

“Ah.”

Spike watched Joyce serve up some coffee to Oz and she chatted with him, rather one-sidedly as was Oz’s wont, about his band and the progress they’d made. Then Riley and Tara came in followed some time later by Dawn and Willow with Xander and Buffy bringing in the rear. They ate pretty much everything in the house then sat around in the living room in their pyjamas, watching cartoons, talking excitedly about Halloween costumes and then the subject of the Fall Dance came up.

“You gonna ask someone?” Willow asked, chucking a throw pillow at Spike.

“Dunno, don’ hardly know anyone, probably won’ go.” Spike chucked the pillow toward Oz, “Wot bout you lot?”

“Well, I’m going with Riley, duh.” Buffy smiled and leaned into Riley.

“I'll go w ith Willow and Tara like always.” Oz shrugged then leaned over to Spike, “I’m Willow’s beard but shhhh.”

Spike snorted, looking at Tara, ‘Wotcha think, Glinda, need a date?”

Tara blushed and she smiled, looking down, “N-No, thank you.”

“Looks like we’re goin’ stag, Xanny.” Spike snickered, nudging the brunette.

Xander shrugged, “Ah, who knows? Maybe we’ll find dates before the dance.”

“Wishful thinkin’ but yeah,” Spike looked at Xander, “Who knows?”

* * *

“C’mon, Penn . . . pick up . . . “ Spike tapped his fingers on his desk, glancing at his computer screen anxiously until there was a soft click, “Hey, Penn.”

“Spike? Hey, bud, what’s up?” Penn didn’t have an accent which never failed to throw Spike.

“So . . . I need some help.” Spike leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on the desk.

“With what?” There was a rustling sound and then Penn was chewing, “Sorry, trying to wolf down something between cases.”

“Oh, are ya busy right now?” Spike asked, grimacing, “I can call back if-”

“Naw, honestly I’m happy for the distraction, I’ve been so swamped that I didn’t manage to call Dad or Darla in weeks. At least now everyone will know I’m still breathing, hey?” Penn chuckled, “Anyway, what’d you need?”

“Well . . . so . . . “ Spike grimaced again, “It’s, uh, so . . . so there’s this dance comin’ up, right? At the school ‘m goin’ ta.”

“I gathered, what about it?”

“I wanna ask this friend’a mine but I dunno how . . . never asked anyone ta a dance b’fore an’ . . . “ Spike breathed out, “Ya’ve done all that stuff so-”

“I was Homecoming King so yeah, I have.”

Spike groaned, “Yeh, I  _ know,  _ ya mention it a  _ lot _ .”

“Alright, alright, don’t get your skivvies in a knot, so you want to ask someone to the dance? Am I understanding correctly?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay so . . . ?”

“Well, how do I do . . . that?” Spike put his feet down and leaned forward, picking at a scab on his knee.

“ . . . you just ask them to the dance.” Penn chuckled, “Just get her something like a flower or whatever and ask! I think you’re overthinking it, girls love being asked to dances. And don’t be a dick and take off on her, alright? Gotta commit to dancing all night if you ask a girl to a dance. Take her somewhere nice beforehand, that’s always a nice gesture and match her dress too. Good thing to remember, she gets to pick the color.”

The more Penn talked, the farther Spike’s heart slipped down into his guts, “R-Right . . . “

There was a pause, “Why do you sound so . . . upset?”

“Huh? Nuthin’, ‘m just thinkin’ is all.” Spike said quickly, clearing his throat.

Another pause, “So what’s her name? She cute?”

Spike didn’t answer for a few moments, he thought briefly about lying and just giving Penn a name. How would Penn ever know otherwise? But . . . he didn’t want to lie . . . Spike bit his lip and swallowed, when he finally did speak his voice was tight and it cracked slightly, “ . . . his name is, um, Xander.”

Penn was quiet for so long that Spike contemplated hanging up, then there was a slow breath, “So is he cute?”

Spike almost fell out of his chair in relief and braced himself against his desk, “Y-Yeh.”

“Cool, same rules apply, just ask him. The worst that can happen is he says ‘no’ and-”

“An’ I get m’ass kicked fer . . . fer _that_.” Spike said softly.

“ . . . C’mon, Will, it’ll be okay.” Penn’s voice got soft like Angel’s did, “Do you know him already?”

“Yeah, we’ve been hangin’ out.”

“Has he ever struck you as that kind of person?”

“Well, no, some’a his pals’re . . . like me, I guess.”

“Okay then no worries! Just ask him to the dance and if he says no, then that’s all there is.” Penn was moving about, probably pacing like Angel.

Spike bit his lip, “Penn?”

“Yeah?”

“ . . . ‘m scared ta ask him.”

“Everyone is scared to ask someone on a date, or to a dance as the case happens to be, when they like the person, you’re not any different.”

“But he’s a bo-”

“Yeah, he’s a boy, that’s literally the only difference and even then that’s not that big a deal.”

“But . . . “ Spike squeezed his eyes shut tightly, “I dunno, I just . . . I like him a lot an’ I want him ta like me too but . . . “

“It’s okay to be gay, Wi-”

“‘M NOT GAY!” Spike snapped and he hung up, breathing heavily as he stared at the phone and burst into tears. His chest felt too tight and the room was too stuffy and he just wanted to disappear.

* * *

Spike avoided being alone with Xander unless necessary, his chest remained tight and he couldn’t concentrate on anything the teachers talked about to the point where he was surprised every time the bell rang. He wasn’t having a good week and almost opted out of the Scooby meeting on Thursday but Xander had given him that look and Willow and Tara and Oz were also insistent for some reason so he went. Spike didn’t snark back at Giles and didn’t rise to any of Buffy’s bait and by the end of the meeting he’d acquired concerned looks from everyone.

Xander was staring at him as they waited for Angel, “Are you feeling okay, Spike?”

Spike blinked and shrugged, “‘m fine.”

“Oh okay it’s just that you’re so . . . quiet.” Xander fidgeted.

Spike could feel his heart thundering away in his chest, he had five seconds to decide if he was going to ask Xander to the Fall Dance before he lost his nerve. Spike’s hands were sweating and he worked his jaw, “Hey, um, Xan, ya goin’ ta the dance t’morrow?”

“Oh sure, I always go to dances, they’re fun!” Xander smiled, apparently relieved that Spike was talking again.

“No, but like, I mean  _ with  _ someone.” Spike looked sideways at Xander, his leg started to bounce.

Xander smiled widely and nodded, “Yeah! I asked out this girl in our history class, Anya, and she said y- hey, where are you going?”

Spike started down the sidewalk, he didn’t know where he was going or what he was doing but he felt like his legs just knew where they were going so he decided to follow them. He almost screamed when Xander hurried to catch up to him.

“H-Hey, you left your backpack? Spike, where are you g-”

“I gotta piss.” Spike said automatically, turning toward the school.

“Oh, okay, I’ll wait for you out here then?”

“Yep.” Spike opened the door, grateful that it wasn’t locked and hurried down a hall only to literally run into Giles.

“Oh, Spike, what are you-”

“Bathroom.” Spike quickly moved around the adult, “Xander’s outside, ya should get him home.”

“Alright, have a good night.”

“Yep.” Spike made it into the bathroom and locked himself into a stall then threw up, almost missing the toilet, he slid to his knees on the cold tile. What had he expected? He waited until the last minute! Of course Xander would go ahead and ask someone else! Spike blinked, had he really expected Xander to ask him? Or to accept his offer? Had he really thought there was anything to all this? “No . . . “ Spike bit his lip and breathed in thickly before his shoulders shook and the tightness in his chest felt almost unbearable, “ . . . i’s not fair . . . “  The buzzing of his phone almost scared him off the floor, 

**[_I’m outside, Will, where are you?_]**

Spike groaned, Angel was here,** {_Had to piss. Out in a sec_}**

**[_Okay_]**

Spike sat on the floor for a moment or two more then flushed the toilet, wiped his mouth off and drank some water from the faucet before making his way back out. Xander and Giles were both gone and Angel was standing outside of his car, “Let’s go.”

Angel blinked, “Okay.”

Spike got in the car and pressed into the door, he cranked the radio on only for it to be turned down by Angel as he got in. There was a long span of quiet, Angel kept glancing at Spike but he didn’t say anything until the blonde boy spoke, “‘m not goin’ ta school t’morrow.”

“Why's that?”

“I don’ feel good.”

“Do you want to take som-”

“No.” Spike snapped, he was fighting so hard to keep it together.

“Will, did something happen?” Angel glanced at him, that concerned wrinkle was back.

“Nuthin’ happened.” Spike growled, counting the lampposts as they passed them to try and gauge how far they were from the house, desperate to be alone.

“O-Okay, alright, I just want to help.” Angel sounded like he was already giving up so that was good.

Spike practically leapt out of the car when it pulled into the garage and was halfway up the stairs before Angel managed to call his name but the blonde ignored him and hurried into his room and slammed the door. Spike breathed heavily, gulping air as he dropped his bag then he wrestled his coat and boots off and crawled under the covers on his bed and screamed into a pillow until it turned into hiccuping sobs. He was ready to cry himself to sleep when there was a knock on his door, he quickly sobered up but his voice still sounded watery, “‘m fine, leave me alone!”

“William, c’mon, let me help.”

“There’s nuthin’ ya can do so fuck off!” Spike reached down and picked up a boot, chucking it at the door.

It opened and Angel stood there looking a mixture of concern and indignation, “Don’t you take that tone with me, young man, I’m pretty sure I haven’t done anything today to deserve that!”

Spike tried to scowl or roll his eyes or yell or do anything but all he could manage was to dissolve into tears and push his face back into the pillow. He couldn’t handle this, he couldn’t deal with how much this all hurt and it was just a stupid dance! Spike shouldn’t be this upset considering he hadn’t been outright rejected, he hadn’t even asked Xander! Spike felt a hand on his back and he could hear Angel talking but the words weren’t registering right away.

“C’mon noaw . . . let’s have it then, Will, wot’s all of this fer?” 

Spike tried to stop crying and slowly sat up but he couldn’t look at Angel, it only made the sobs come back, “I-I c-can’ tell ya.”

“Of course ya c’n!” Angel put his hands on Spike’s shoulders, leaning down to make eye contact.

“No I can’!” Spike shouted, burying his face in his hands.

“Did someone hurt ya, William?” Angel asked, his voice became very deep and sharp.

“N-No, no, I-I just . . . “ Spike started to rock, what the fuck was even happening right now?

“William, ya can tell me anythin’. I promise ya that.” Angel was looking very close to tears himself.

Spike blinked up at Angel and he swallowed around another sob, “ . . . ‘m scared ta.”

“Why’re ya scared, Will?” Angel’s voice became soft and . . . a little tremble-y too.

“ . . . ‘m scared that . . . that ya . . . ya won’ love me anymore.” Spike’s voice cracked as he tried to talk quietly.

Angel blinked and he shook his head, “N-No, William, I’ll never stop lovin’ ya, I promise ya that!”

“But wot if ya do?” Spike asked, “Then ya don’ . . . ya don’ hafta . . . keep me.”

Angel shook his head again, “Eight years is a long toime ta just throw 'way, I won’ stop lovin’ ya an’ I won’ give ya up. Wotever it is, ya can tell me.”

Spike swallowed and whimpered, looking down at his hands clenched in the duvet, he pulled out of Angel’s grasp and grabbed a pillow to hug tightly, “ . . . I . . . I wanted ta ask someone out ta the dance t’morrow but I was too late. They asked someone else.”

Angel was quiet for a moment then he nodded, his accent noticeably missing, “Oh, I’m sorry, bud, that’s pretty r-”

“Shut up with that stupid condescendin’ bullshit,” Spike muttered, “I know it doesn’ seem like a big deal but it was, alright?”

“I believe you,” Angel said quickly, “Rejection fucking sucks, I know, trust me.”

Spike was quiet for a bit, “There’s . . . there’s sumthin’ else tho’ . . . “

“I’d imagine there is considering I hardly think not getting a date to a dance is worthy of me disowning you.” Angel said softly.

“I . . . the person I asked . . . “ Spike bit down on his lip ring and shook his head.

Angel was quiet for several seconds, “Can I ask you a question, Will?”

Spike shrugged a shoulder, his whole body was shaking and he hugged the pillow tighter.

“William, are you . . . gay?”

Spike felt like his insides had dissolved and fallen out his feet, he opened his mouth to deny it like he always did, he was geared up with the anger that he was supposed to use, Spike was completely prepared to shout in Angel’s face about how fucked up that was to ask and . . . and . . . and Angel just patiently waited while Spike sat there with his mouth open and tears streaming down his face. All that came out was a strangled howl and Spike put his face back down into the pillow, the mattress dipped and he was being pulled into Angel’s chest.

“Alright, alright,” Angel murmured, “it’s okay, Will, that was a big thing to hold in for so long, huh?”

Spike was unable to speak or really breathe, he felt like he’d throw up again as Angel rubbed his back, “’m s-s-sorry, ‘m s-so sorry-”

“Hey,” Angel held Spike out by the shoulders, “Hey, look at me, do not  _ ever  _ apologize to me for this, okay? You’ve done  _ nothing  _ wrong.”

“B-But-”

“But nothing,” Angel said, reaching up to wipe at Spike’s face with his sleeve, “Now, tell ya what, go take a shower and calm down a bit and we’ll talk about this,  _ if  _ you want. As far as I am concerned, this is none of my business unless you want to talk about it, but I want you to know that this changes _nothing_.”

Spike nodded slowly and got up, he let Angel lead him to the bathroom then he was left alone, he didn’t try to stop crying and kept at it until he stepped into the shower. He showered and changed into shorts and a sweatshirt then made his way down to the massive living room where Angel was talking quietly into a phone. The brunette looked up when he saw Spike standing there,

“I’ll talk to you later, mhm, yeah. Okay, bye.” Angel put the phone on the coffee table and sat forward on the couch, “Hey.”

Spike moved to sit next to Angel, licking his lips slowly, “So . . . wot was it?”

“What was what?” Angel asked, pushing a glass of water toward Spike, “Here, hydrate yourself.”

Spike held the glass between his hands and stared down into it, “Wot was it that gave me away?”

“Nothing ‘gave you away’, Will,” Angel said gently, sitting back, “It was your sister that told us.”

Spike’s eyes widened, “W-Wot? But she promised-”

“She did, but regardless, she burst into Darla’s room at three in the morning sobbing because she was afraid you were going to hurt yourself and told her everything then Darla called me. We were just waiting for you to be ready to tell us yourself.” Angel shrugged.

“Dru thought I’d hurt m’self?” Spike frowned deeply and he groaned, “Dammit, Dru, ‘m fine! Wot’d she-”

“I dunno, maybe drinking and smoking and getting into four accidents in less than a year while engaging in delinquent behavior and almost failing out of school is some kind of clue?” Angel’s eyebrow rose and he turned toward Spike, “The point is, she was worried about you.”

“I guess.” Spike mumbled, reaching for a throw pillow and hugging it while he sipped his water.

“So . . . this behavior was going on long before the divorce,” Angel talked slowly, cautiously, probably to make sure Spike didn’t get upset again or leave the room so they could talk, “Is being in the closet why?”

“ . . . sorta.” Spike admitted, glancing at Angel.

“I thought so,” Angel sighed, “Of course at first I thought you were just being a teenager but then the divorce happened and you got worse . . . I understood that you were angry and upset and trying to process what was happening but-”

“It wasn’ that, tho’ it didn’ help.” Spike said quickly, “It was . . . sumthin’ else.”

Angel took a slow breath, “If you don’t want to talk about it right now or even with me, you don’t have t-”

“I want ta.” Spike murmured, looking at Angel with red, puffy eyes, “I wanna tell ya wot happened.”

“Okay, take your time.” Angel clasped his hands over his knee and sat back but his body language told Spike that his dad was doing his damnedest to restrain himself.

“D’ya ‘member the school I went ta in New York, the last one b’fore the move?”

“Yeah, that was . . . two years ago now?”

“The first one I got kicked outta?” 

“Yes.” Angel’s voice was a bit tight there.

Spike cleared his throat, “Ya remember how roight b’fore that, a boy got beat up so bad that he went blind in his left eye an’ how the cops got involved an’ there was a big investigation?” Spike stared at the now empty cup, holding it tightly between his hands until his knuckles were white.

“Uh . . . “ Angel’s frown deepened, “Yes?”

“Yanno why he got beat up?” Spike asked softly, hunching his shoulders.

“I imagine you do?”

“Mhm, one’a the football players heard that boy had a crush on him an’ was the one leavin’ him poetry in his locker an’ him an’ his pals cornered the boy after school one day and beat the tar outta him.” Spike’s lip shook and he had to put the cup down so he could wipe at his eyes.

“Oh Will,” Angel scooted closer, putting a hand on Spike’s shoulder, “So was it because that boy was gay too?”

“No,” Spike shook his head, “He wasn’,  _ isn’ _ , gay so far as I know,” Here he looked at Angel, his voice barely a whisper, “They got the  _ wrong boy _ . It was  _ me  _ that had the crush an’  _ me  _ that left him poems in his locker. They got our initials mixed up on the notes an' . . . that was s'posed ta be me.”

Angel’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open slightly, “Oh, William . . . “

Spike would have cried more if he had any liquid in his eyes left for it as he hugged the pillow tightly and looked at Angel with a kind of manic fear, “I-I got so s-scared, Dad so I thought I . . . I thought if anyone ever found out . . . “

Angel hugged Spike tightly, “It’s alright now, I’d never let anyone hurt you if I can help it. If that ever happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do but I imagine it’d be pretty gory.”

Spike snuggled into Angel, he was too tired and worn out to feel anything beyond relief but he also felt his broken heart throb painfully, “So . . . I stopped singin’ an’ writin' poetry . . . I did everythin’ I could ta just not be . . .  _ that _ . Or at least not look it. It was hard an’ a lotta the time I fought with Dru over it, she thought I should just . . . just be gay an’ not worry ‘bout stuff but . . . “

“It’s easy to just say that, I know.” Angel murmured, his fingers carding through Spike’s hair while the teenager dropped the pillow and climbed into his lap, “Unf, you’re getting too big for this . . . “

“Dru . . . means well, she just-”

“Doesn’t understand.” Angel finished, nodding.

Spike blinked and slowly looked up at Angel, “ . . . Dad, yer not . . . gay, are ya?”

“No,” Angel shook his head, “I’m not gay, per se, I do have attractions to male identifying people though.” 

Spike stared at Angel, “Ya serious?”

“Yeah,” Angel laughed and sat up, nudging Spike off his lap, “Granted I was never allowed to express that as a young man and I generally kept things to myself, it was a different time and there were certain expectations that my parents had of me but . . . .”

“So with Giles, ya weren’ just bein’ friendly, were ya?” Spike narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Ah, uh, well,” Angel’s ears reddened and he ducked his head, “I wouldn’t say there wasn’t some kind of  _ chemistry  _ there.”

“Holy shit.” Spike blinked then he sat back on the couch, “ . . . I dunno how I feel ‘bout all’a this . . . “

“I figure if you’re gonna come out and be honest, I should too so . . . “ Angel shrugged, “I’ve identified as pansexual for decades.”

“Ya’ve only ever been with women tho’?” Spike pointed out, “Penn’s mother an’ Mum-”

“Well, yes, that was part of the agreement or I would get cut off,” Angel sighed, “My parents are very wealthy, Will, and I was a broke law student trying to make ends meet, my girlfriend at the time was pregnant and I was already on thin ice with my very conservative, Irish Catholic father and mother. I couldn’t afford to not have that check coming in the mail.”

“But,” Spike leaned over, “Yer not d’pendin’ on them at all anymore! I’ve never even met them, so go be with who ya want now!”

“It’s not that simple.” Angel sighed, “And no, you will  _ never  _ meet those people, I know what they did to me, I refuse to expose my children to that kind of bigoted bullshit, forget you being gay, the things they’d probably say about either of your older siblings is more than enough . . . the things they _did _say about Penn was more than enough.”

Spike blinked at Angel, he leaned over and put his head on the brunette’s shoulder, “‘m sorry ya went through that Dad.”

“And I’m sorry you felt you had to hide things,” Angel put his arm around Spike, “I know how that felt as a kid and-”

“No, no, Dad, just stop,” Spike said, shaking his head, “Yer a good dad an’ I shoulda known I coulda come ta ya ‘bout this, that was rubbish’a me an’ ‘m sorry.”

Angel smiled lopsidedly and he hugged Spike, “Feel better? I know I do.”

“ . . . a little,” Spike grimaced, then he sighed, “But . . . Xander’s still goin’ ta the dance with some girl.”

“Well,” Angel took a deep breath, “Maybe you need to just take a breather on that? I know it hurts right now and feels like it’s the most important thing in the world but after the dance, talk to him. Tell him how you feel.”

“What if he reacts badly?” Spike mumbled, turning his face into Angel’s shoulder.

“You’ve got me, I won’t let something happen to you and if anything does, I’ve got your back.” Angel gave him a squeeze and sat back with his head on the back of the couch, “Being a Dad is hard work . . . “

“Bein’ a kid ain’ much easier.” Spike slid down and sighed through his nose.

“I think we do an alright job though.” Angel smiled, “It’ll be okay, Will, not today or tomorrow but it’ll get better.”

“Do I hafta go ta school t’morrow?” Spike asked softly, closing his eyes.

“No, if you’re feeling up to it in the morning, fine, but otherwise no, take a mental health day, just get your homework done and I’ll call in for you. Sound good?” Angel glanced down at Spike as he reached for the remote.

“Yeah.” Spike curled up against Angel as the television turned on and they watched some mindless shit while Angel cuddled him until he passed out. Spike would wake long enough for Angel to nudge him to the stairs and into Spike’s bathroom to take his contacts out and brush his teeth. Angel tucked Spike into bed and it was only a matter of a few slow, deep breaths before Spike fell into an exhausted, strangely restful sleep.

* * *

**{_Hey, where were you today?_}**

Spike glanced at the notification on his phone and sighed, shifting away to stare at the wall listlessly. He’d been ignoring Xander and the Scoobies’ texts all day and he just wanted to be left alone so Angel had kept his distance, only popping in to make sure Spike ate something here and there. Spike slowly got up and slogged downstairs with the hood pulled up of his over-sized sweatshirt (it was probably one of Penn's but see if he'd ever get it back) and clutching a pillow, he located his laptop and turned it on. Within a few minutes the screen was full of his sister’s face and she looked tired, she yawned loudly and rubbed at her eyes, “Spike? Wot is it? ‘M gettin’ ready fer the day, silly.”

“Why’d ya tell Mum ‘bout me bein’ gay?” Spike asked softly.

Drusilla grimaced and sighed heavily, “ . . . please don’ be mad, Willy, I just thought I should tell someone. You seemed like . . . “

“Like I’d hurt m’self.” Spike murmured, his fingers slid slowly over the inside of one of his forearms.

“ . . . yeh.” Drusilla said in a small wavering voice.

“‘M not mad, really, i just . . . I shoulda told them m’self an’ now I don’ know how ta move forward.” Spike shifted the pillow behind him, “Is it stupid that ‘m in love with someone I only met a week ago?”

“I don’ think love follows the constraints’a time an’ space.” Drusilla shrugged, “I think if you think you’re in love then you’re in love.” 

Spike’s eyes welled with tears and he looked at her, “I hate it.”

Drusilla nodded sympathetically and leaned forward on her elbows, her long hair falling down her shoulders, “I miss the old you, I miss my William with his poetry an’ his glasses an’ his soft eyes. I loike my Spikes too, don’ get me wrong, I love sharin’ music an’ you’ve got great sense’a style an’ you’re shockin’ly good lookin’ with your cheekbones an’ nonsense but . . . you can be both, you know?”

“No I can’t.” Spike shook his head miserably.

“Why not?”

“Cuz that’s what started all this trouble ta begin with!” Spike snapped, wiping angrily at his eyes, “Bein’ too soft an’-”

“Nice? Kind? Compassionate? Desirable?” Drusilla frowned, narrowing her eyes, “The things that make people fall in love with you? Spikes, my sweet lil brother, I know you don’ wanna be alone, I know you want someone ta love you as much as you can love them but you keep pushin’ down all the emotions that attract people!”

Spike stared at the keyboard and shifted uncomfortably, “ . . . wot if . . . wot if sumthin’ happens?”

“Loike wot?”

“Wot if . . . Wot if I get hurt? Wot if someone attacks me’r someone ‘m with? Wot if-”

“Wot if the fuckin’ sky falls an’ we all die horrid deaths at the hands of mice-people?” Drusilla threw her hands up in exasperation, “Look, the way I see it, you’re as safe as Daddy an’ Mummy can have you, if anyone ever did hurt you, Daddy would bring them ta court and sue them fer everythin’ they’ll ever own an’ get them locked up!”

“But-”

“An’ wot’s the point of all that time you an’ Penn an’ Daddy spendin’ all that fuckin’ toime breakin’ boards or wotever if ya can’ throw a fuckin’ punch?”

“Dru-”

“So someone jumps ya, fuckin’ punch them or stab them or bash ‘em with a lead pipe or wotever! I know ya can fight since ya picked so many.” Drusilla was pacing back and forth in front of the camera, constantly holding a different doll or stuffie each time she passed the camera until she had Mr. Lumpkins on her shoulders.

“‘Ang on, I-”

“You deserve ta be in love, goddammit!” Drusilla finally shouted, scaring her cat onto the desk-chair and she stood glaring at Spike with her makeup running down her face.

Spike blinked and looked down guiltily, “ . . . well . . . “

“An’ ‘m so angry that me an’ Penn aren’ there ta help you.” Drusilla whispered hoarsely, settling on picking her cat up and holding him, “You shouldn’ be scared ta be in love.”

Spike slowly sat back and propped the laptop on the chair’s arm, “Don’ matter since he doesn’ loike me anyway.”

“Did you even bother ta ask him?” Drusilla wiped at her face and tied her hair back in a messy bun.

“Well . . . no, but-”

“How d’you know then?” Drusilla asked in a tired, almost bored voice.

“Cuz he’s goin’ ta the fuckin’ dance with a girl!”

“So wot? I went ta a dance with a girl once an’ you thought Daddy was straight so-”

“Wait, does everyone know everythin’ except me?” Spike demanded, frowning.

Drusilla sighed, “We weren’ keepin’ secrets, my Spikes, you’re just oblivious.”

“I am not!” Spike muttered defensively.

“‘M point bein’ that you have  _ no idea  _ if you don’ just ask.” Drusilla said a bit forcefully and dropping the cat back to the floor, probably trying to keep the conversation on topic.

Spike didn’t respond, watching Mr. Lumpkins in the background pawing at a doll that had been upset onto the floor. Drusilla’s eyebrow rose and she sat back, waiting until the blonde finally breathed out, “I don’ wanna get hurt.”

“Love isn’ meant ta hurt, but life is.” Drusilla shrugged, “Look, ‘m just a seventeen year old musical prodigy packed full'a m'own trauma and problems, I don’ have the answers considerin’ m’own relationship issues of late but I do know that there’s a lot ta be said ‘bout puttin’ yourself out there an’ lettin’ love find ya.”

“Relationship issues? Wot issues?” Spike leaned forward, eager to find something else to focus on.

Drusillar rolled her eyes, “Leave Charles outta this, alroight? We’re just havin’ an issue since he’s transferrin’ schools an’ ‘m pissed ‘bout it.”

“He’s a slimy git.” Spike muttered.

“You just don’ loike him because ‘m datin’ him, Charles is a very nice boy.” Drusilla rolled her eyes again except far more exaggerated then she sighed, “William?”

Spike looked up and blinked, “Yeah?”

“Can you promise me one thing?”

“Wot?”

“Just come outta the closet when the opportunity comes, okay? You’re too sweet an’ good a person ta be this miserable an’ lonely.” Her voice was much softer now and she looked ready to cry again.

“O-Okay.” Spike looked down again and swallowed, “I’s not easy.”

"'m sure it is.” Drusilla smiled slightly and clapped her hands, “Now, it is six in the AM here an’ I hafta go back an’ redo my makeup since  _ somebody  _ made me smear my mascara!”

“Okay, I’ll talk ta ya later, Dru.” 

“Sure, I love you.” Drusilla smiled, picking up Mr. Lumpkins.

“Love ya too, Dru. Bye.” Spike ended the call and sat staring at the wall, he slowly looked around the room and sighed heavily, reaching into his pocket to take out his mobile and sat staring at all the messages Xander, Oz, and Tara had sent him with the final one being from Willow.

**[I don’t know what’s going on but Xander is really upset and he left the dance early. If you said something to him, you better apologize or else!]**

Spike blinked at that and sighed heavily, glancing at the time he could see that it was way too late to call or text anyone. Angel was even sleeping by this point and Spike should be too so he slowly got back up and wandered to the front of the house to stare out one of the windows at the other houses with their Halloween decorations and lights up and ready for the next night’s trick-or-treaters. He thought long and hard about things until the sun started coming up and he had a decision to make.

Spike was making breakfast when Angel came down and the brunette stopped in the door to regard the teenager stirring a pot of thick hot chocolate, “Hey, you’re up early.”

“Didn’ sleep much, talked ta Dru, had some ideas.” Spike shrugged, not looking up from stirring the pot.

“Yeah? Like what?”

“I wanna go t’night with m’friends.” Spike said softly.

Angel blinked, “Are you su-”

“Yes.” Spike said quickly, “I am.”

“Okay, I’ll drop you off at Joyce’s then. If you want to go home at any point, just give me a call.” Angel said, handing Spike a mug and getting one for himself,  “How’s Dru?”

“She needs ta just break up with Charles, slimy git is movin’ anyway.” Spike muttered.

Angel rolled his eyes much like Drusilla, “Charles is a nice boy, what is your beef with him?”

“He’s datin’ m’sister.” Spike shrugged.

“Down boy,” Angel chuckled, “Dru can handle herself. She's also very much in love with Charles, you're being-”

“‘M jealous.” Spike said suddenly without really knowing why.

“Oh? Of who and for what?” Angel poured himself a cup of coffee while Spike piled marshmallows on his mug of cocoa.

“Of Dru an’ she has a boyfriend.” Spike mumbled, glancing at Angel.

“Well, I can understand that,” Angel nodded, “You’re lonely, hormonal, and have a crush.”

“Ya think ‘m bein’ silly?” Spike asked, sitting at the breakfast bar.

“No, I think you’re a teenager figuring himself out,” Angel shrugged and sat across from Spike, “You’ve hidden something very important to you for so long and now you’ve given yourself permission to  _ be  _ yourself. Projecting is part of that, in the beginning anyway, I know because I did that too when I figured out I liked masculine identifying people.”

“How’d ya find that out?” Spike asked curiously.

Angel shrugged, “I was . . . in my twenties living my debauched rich boy life and one time a girl I was dating brought me to a party. We were getting . . . uh, well, we were in a closet and a guy there walked in on us. She jokingly invited him to join in and . . . the rest is history. We broke up the next day and I was single for some time. Very miserable and lonely and I spent a good deal of my time alone, often drunk, brooding my days away while I tried to understand why I was fine with leaving my girlfriend and trying to come to terms with my own attractions.”

“Ya fucked a guy an’ it threw ya fer a loop.” Spike said bluntly, cocking an eyebrow.

Angel let his head loll back on his shoulders and groaned, “Yeah, okay, you’re fifteen, you know about sex, fine. I had sex with a man in a closet at a party and it threw me for a loop. My  _ point  _ is that I remember how this thing you’re going through feels so-”

“‘M gonna tell ‘im.” Spike cut in.

“Are you?” Angel asked, his eyes widening slightly.

“Yeah.” Spike nodded, “I don’ wanna stay in the closet anymore. I don’ wanna hurt an’ hide an’ pretend I like things an’ people I don’. Might not tell him the bits 'bout m'crush just yet but . . . I need the rest outta me.”

Angel stared at Spike for a minute or two, “Are you . . .  _ sure  _ you’re okay?”

“Yes.” Spike finished his hot chocolate, “Guess I just needed ta cry m’self ta sanity.”

Angel put a hand on Spike’s shoulder, “Okay, if you’re sure then I support you.”

Spike smiled, “Thanks, Dad.”

“It’s part of my job, I love you, Trouble.”

“Love you too.”

**[_Sorry, Red, I’ll talk to Xan. I didn’t mean to upset everyone.}_**

**[** ** _It’s okay he just thinks you’re mad at him._ ** **]**

**{** ** _Yeah that was rubbish of me, wasn’t feeling very good._ ** **}**

**[** ** _Are you coming tonight_ ** **?]**

**{** ** _With bells on. See ya tonight ;)_ ** **}**


	6. Backpedal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike tries to be alright with Xander and Anya dating. The holidays are coming and Angel has a surprise in store for the youngest Aurelius.

Spike stared out the window of the car as they pulled up to Buffy's house, he held up a hand just as Angel's mouth opened, "I know, if fer any reason I wanna go home, ta tell ya."

Angel's eyebrow cocked and he snorted, "As long as all my bases are covered.”

“Wot’re you gonna be doin’ while ‘m wanderin’ hither an’ yon gettin’ candy?” Spike asked, opening the door and stepping out. He could hear lots of excited yelling and music coming from the house.

“Oh, well-”

The door of the house opened and Giles stepped out, polishing his glasses and he was wearing a knit-sweater with a smiling jack-o-lantern on the front. He replaced his glasses in time to see Angel get out and fix him with a fond half-smile while Spike was stifling giggles, “Ah, Angel, Spike, good evening.”

“Hello, Rupert.” Angel swatted at Spike’s head as they moved to the steps that he ducked out of the way of easily.

“And what are you supposed to be, William?” Joyce asked, coming up behind Rupert in the doorway dressed in a Morticia Addams-esque dress and a black velvet choker around her neck with tear-shaped red stones dangling from it and matching earrings.

“Billy Idol.” Spike said automatically, smiling at her, “Ya look gorgeous, Joyce.”

“Well, thank you, Mr. Idol.” Joyce smiled, looking at Angel, “Didn’t you dress up, Angel?”

“Oh, uh, well-” Angel fidgeted at being put on the spot.

Spike chuckled, “Dad isn’t one ta dress up unless it’s a suit.”

Rupert held the door to let them in and Joyce took Angel’s hand, “Here, I have something for you, come on.”

Angel sputtered helplessly as he was dragged upstairs leaving Rupert and Spike, the blonde regarded Giles curiously as they watched his dad being led away, “So.”

“So?” Giles’s eyebrow rose slightly.

“Nice jumper, who made it?” Spike asked.

“Joyce did, actually.” Giles leaned back a bit, “‘Billy Idol’?”

Spike shrugged, “Not much for costumes.”

“Neither am I.” Giles nodded just as the commotion in the living room reached a peak, “The others are playing video games until it’s time to head out, if that sort of thing interests you.”

“Not much for games,” Spike shrugged, “But might take a look.” He wandered off into the living room and sure enough there were the usual suspects with the Scoobies and Dawn but there was also a gaggle of kids younger than them excitedly chattering and staring intently at the television.

“Hey, Spike.” Oz waved from the corner, also not wearing a costume.

Spike slung himself onto the couch next to the redhead and lolled his head to the side, giving Oz a once-over, “No costume?”

“I had one, but-”

“Hey guys! We’re back!” 

Oz sighed and inclined his head, “That.”

Spike looked and his eyes widened slightly, Xander was wearing a pair of furry ears, a tail, gloves and a ridiculous rubber dog nose and costume collar but it was the girl with him that gave the blonde pause. She was wearing a short, low-cut black dress and a red half-cape holding a basket and hanging on Xander’s arm so that her boobs pressed into his arm. Spike’s jaw tightened and he tried to play it off with a smirk, “Dunno, Oz, think yer more of an evenin’ gown type. Slutty wolf-shagger, not so much.”

Xander’s eyes snapped around to Spike and he smiled, “hey! You made it!”

Spike grimaced minutely then shrugged, “Yeah, feelin’ a lot better. How was the dance?” Spike could feel Oz’s eyes on him, the redhead could probably see how fake the blonde’s smile was, hear the slight sarcastic tone. Not that Spike cared . . .  _ much _ .

“It was pretty cool, Anya-”

“That’s me, by the way, I’m Anya.” The girl,  _ Anya,  _ gave Xander’s arm a squeeze and beamed at him.

“Ya don’ say?” Spike drawled.

“I do say,” Anya smiled up at Xander and adjusted his ears, “But we’re dating now so-”

“ _ Are _ you now?” Spike asked loudly, causing the other Scoobies to look over.

“Well, yes,” Anya nodded, looking serious, “After last night, I’m not letting him out of my sight! Who knows who would snap up my Xan if I didn’t seize the opportunity.”

_ My Xan.  _

Spike blinked and cleared his throat, “So he was that good a dancer, huh?”

“Well, more what came  _ after _ the dancing but- well,  _ you know _ .” Anya smirked while Xander blushed.

Spike’s jaw tightened and he stood up, muttering about needing the bathroom and he didn’t even bother to remark on how absolutely stupid Angel looked in the bright-orange pumpkin sweater Joyce had stuffed him into nor did he realize he was being followed until he went to close the bathroom door only to yelp and glare at Oz, “Oi! Don’ ya make  _ sound  _ when ya walk?”

“Socks.” Oz shrugged then toed the carpet, “Look, Anya’s in my grade and she’s really nice. Ditzy and weird but nice, she’s liked Xander for a while and just got the guts to ask him to a dance so-”

“So I should care  _ why _ ?” Spike crossed his arms.

“Because you like Xander t- Mph!”

Spike had clapped a hand over Oz’s mouth much to both of their surprise, the blonde dropped his hand and grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck, “Sorry I . . . look . . . ‘m just comin’ ta terms with a lot of this stuff an’ . . . I was gonna ask him but I was too late, alright?”

Oz blinked slowly then nodded, “Okay but like, keep the peace, yanno?”

“Right. So how’d you figure it out?”

Oz shrugged, “Vibe.”

“Oh.”

“You good?”

“No.”

“Yeah . . . sorry.”

“So’m I.” Spike sighed and closed the bathroom door.

* * *

Everyone else was pretty much in similar attire for the evening and just as it was getting dark, Joyce and the others shooed all the kids out into the October air among throngs of other trick-or-treaters. Spike shoved his hands deep in his pockets as he glared at Anya’s back while she skipped along with an awkward, reluctant Xander who smiled all goofy and cute and  _ oblivious as fuck _ ! Spike ground his teeth and shoved a half-smoked cigarette in his mouth, grumbling irritably until Anya laughed way too loudly at one of Xander’s jokes, Spike rolled his eyes and skipped ahead, taking Xander’s other hand that Anya wasn’t busy plastering herself against and mimicked the girl’s high voice, “Oh, Xander, yer so funny an’ brilliant! Gosh, I can’ get over how absolutely smashing ya are! Positively a god, oh take me now!”

Anya’s eyes narrowed and she entertwined her fingers with Xander’s, “It’s okay to be  _ jealous,  _ whatever it was your name is.”

Spike stiffened and he sneered, still holding Xander’s hand, “Jealous? Who? Lil ol’ whatever m’name is? Perish the thought!”

Xander looked between Anya and Spike then huffed, “Could you two knock it off, please?” 

“Someday a girl with just as many piercings as you will make you feel all special like Xander makes me feel.” Anya nodded, looking up at Xander.

Spike didn’t say anything then slowly let go of Xander’s hand, “Wotever, ‘s if I want some bint hangin’ on me all day.”

They continued around the neighborhood until all the younger kids had filled their treat bags (and after they gave a portion to the older kids to divvy up as thanks for walking them about) then ended up back at the Summers house where Giles, Joyce, Angel and several other parents were sitting around talking, playing cards and laughing.

Spike skulked his way into the kitchen and started to peruse the snacks that remained, he heard someone come in behind him and he glanced back to see Willow in the doorway, "Sup, Red?"

"We were thinking of playing Sardines before people go home, if you're up for it."

Spike's nose wrinkled and he frowned, "'Sardines', ya mean like the fish?"

"It’s reverse hide and go seek," Willow explained, "one person hides, the rest seek only once you find the hider, you hide with them until only one person is left."

Spike nodded slowly, "alright I think I understand the main concept."

"Sooooooooooo you wanna play or what?" Willow gestured to the stack of cookies Spike was holding.

"Would snackin' get in the way'a playin'?" Spike held up the cookies a bit insistently.

"I don’t  _ think  _ so?" Willow shrugged.

"Yeah alright I'll play then." Spike shoved a cookie in his mouth then followed her to the backyard where the remaining kids were gathered.

“Alright, so Xander said he’ll go first.” Buffy said, looking around at those gathered, “Rules are you can go in the basement, backyard and upstairs. Dining room and living room are too open and the parents are going between them so it wouldn't be fair.”

“Let’s get to it then.” Spike shoved half a cookie in his mouth.

Xander nodded, “Okay, count to fifty then come find me!” he turned and hurried back to the front of the house while they moved to the back porch.

“I’ll count.” Anya offered, Spike opened his mouth for a joke but Oz gave him a look that snapped his mouth shut while she loudly called out numbers until she reached zero, “Okay! Apple, peaches, pumpkin pie, who’s not ready, holler ‘aye’!” She said loudly and they all waited a second then scattered when they got no response.

Spike huffed and chewed slowly on his cookies while he went back inside, he wandered out of the kitchen and noticed the basement door open ajar. The blonde put the last cookie in his mouth and was about to investigate when he heard a loud peal of laughter from the living room. That was Angel, Spike could clock his ‘I’m super awkward but want to be liked’ laugh anywhere. The teenager smiled fondly before ducking down the stairs. It didn’t take long to find Xander, truth be told, Spike squatted down under the stairs where Xander had wedged himself behind two large boxes, “Comfy?”

Xander snorted and shifted back, “Shh!”

Spike glanced up the stairs then crawled into Xander’s space, “There is  _ not  _ a lot of room here, Xan.”

“Shh!” Xander hissed again, he reached over and grabbed Spike, tugging him into the hiding spot.

Spike bit down on a yelp of surprise as he was pulled forward on top of Xander, he shifted and glared, “Bit’a warnin’ b’fore ya yank a bloke ro-”

“Spike,  _ shut up _ .” Xander snarled, looking up when they heard footsteps above their head.

Spike grimaced as he held still as best he could, but . . . the position they were in did not afford much space between interested parties, the blonde swallowed thickly and closed his eyes. Okay, just . . . just think about football or something . . . 

Xander shifted then blinked and looked at Spike, “ _ Now _ ?”

“I can’ help it, alright?” Spike hissed, glaring at the brunette.

Xander scooted back a bit but there wasn’t enough room for him to move without Spike going as well, “ . . . could you not rub that against me?”

“‘M not rubbin’, yer movin’ ‘round!” Spike grumbled, his ears pinking.

“But you're hard-”

“No, fuckin’  _ really _ , genius?” Spike snapped but Xander put a hand over his mouth as the basement door opened and a few sets of feet started down the stairs.

Xander held Spike tightly, his hand clamped over Spike’s mouth and they watched a few of the younger kids, with Dawn and Tara leading the charge, as they rooted about. Spike swallowed and tucked himself as close to Xander as possible, he looked up at Xander apologetically, this was so embarrassing . . . 

One of the kids ducked behind the stairs but must not have realized the boxes could be moved and turned to leave, Spike and Xander both relaxed as they gave up and went back upstairs. Xander took his hand off Spike’s mouth and breathed out, “It’s fine, wood happens, yanno?”

Spike didn’t say anything as he was stuffed under some stairs with his crush, lying on top of said crush with his head on the brunette’s chest listening to his heartbeat while he had an erection . . . it was almost perfect. Spike looked up at Xander, his hands felt clammy and they were twitchy, “Wot if . . . wot if it didn’ just . . . ‘happen’?”

“What’cha mean? Your boner?” Xander cocked an eyebrow.

“Y-Yeh.” Spike’s heart was trying desperately to pound out of his chest and it was getting harder to maintain eye contact.

“ . . . I know.” Xander mumbled softly, glancing to the side.

“Ya . . . know? Wot d’ya ‘ya know’?” Spike frowned, brow furrowed.

“That you like me.” Xander shrugged, “I’m not an idiot and frankly if Anya hadn’t asked me out, I was considering asking you .”

Spike’s mouth dropped open, “Huh?”

“Well, yeah I mean, you’re super fun and cute and yanno . . . you’ve been nice to me since we met.” Xander sort of shrugged, “How can I  _ not  _ like you?”

Spike felt like the floor had fallen out from under him, he gaped at Xander then shook his head and started to back out of the spot, pushing boxes out of the way and getting cobwebs stuck to him in his hurry to get away.

“H-Hey, Spike! What’re you doing, that was the perfect hiding spot!” Xander sputtered and hurried to also stand.

“Yer fuckin’  _ kiddin’  _ me!” Spike said, starting to pace as things got to be too much, “You-You liked me this  _ whole bloody time _ ? I-I can’ believe this!” He looked at Xander then started for the stairs.

“Whoa, wait, hang on, let me explain!” Xander hurried to grab Spike then staggered back when Spike pushed him off.

Spike felt his pent-up anger and frustration bubbling up, “Explain wot exactly? How ya knew I liked ya but ya rubbed my face in ya gettin’ with An-”

“I didn’t mean to rub it in but it’s not safe!” Xander said desperately, grabbing onto Spike’s forearms and holding on tightly as the blonde struggled to get away.

“How ya mean?” Spike growled, jerking his arms out of Xander’s grasp.

Xander stood there with his hands still grasping at the air and his mouth working, tears welled up in his eyes, he dropped his arms and looked at the floor, “I . . . if . . . it’s not safe. If I was seen with another boy . . . my dad . . . “ He sounded so small.

Spike blinked as things clicked, he watched Xander move to sit on the bottom step and hug his knees miserably. The blonde slowly moved to sit next to Xander, “So . . . are ya gay?”

“No, no, I kinda like guys and girls . . . so as much as I like you, Anya is the safer option.” Xander looked tearfully at Spike, “I-I really would have liked going to the dance with you. . . I just couldn’t. Generally I don’t even take anyone so . . . “

Spike blinked at Xander then shook his head, “Does Anya know?”

“Y-Yeah . . . I . . . I had to tell her after the dance and the  _ other  _ thing.” Xander mumbled.

“ . . . did you an’ Anya . . . fuck?” Spike asked softer still, folding his arms on his knees.

“Yeah.” Xander nodded, “We did, after the dance. It was actually pretty good.”

“Oh.” Spike grimaced.

Xander sighed, “I  _ do  _ like Anya, Spike.”

Spike nodded, “I know.”

“You don’t like her.” Xander said flatly, giving Spike a tired look.

“Well, she’s datin’ ya so no.” Spike shrugged.

“Because you like me.” Xander muttered.

“Because yer my best mate.” Spike said with an eyebrow cocked.

“That boner back there was so not a ‘we’re friends boner.” Xander snorted.

“There’s no such thing as ‘we’re friends boners’, Xander,” Spike leaned back on the stairs, smirking.

“Well I’m not the one that took too long to ask me out, am I?” Xander pointed out.

Spike blinked, “Truth be told, I thought ya’d make the first move given how much ya like kissin’ me, touchin’ me, an’ other things.” 

“Guess it doesn’t matter, if I’d risked it and asked or if you had, the answer would have to be ‘no’..” Xander shrunk into himself again, the smile and light in his eyes immediately going out and he looked away, “Even if I want to, I can’t.”

Spike grimaced and sat up, “‘m sorry.”

“Me too.” They were quiet for a bit then Spike reached over and took Xander’s hand, the brunette didn’t say anything for a moment then he slowly put his head on Spike’s shoulder, “I wish my parents were like yours.”

“Me too.” Spike said softly around the catch in his throat, he patted Xander’s hand after letting it go and stood up, “C’mon, they’ll think we buggered off if we don’ get found soon.”

“Right, the game.” Xander nodded and followed Spike up the stairs.

The group went through a few rounds after  _ several  _ jokes and finger pointing as to who missed them then Spike sat on the back porch having a cigarette while Angel had another ‘five more minutes’ of Gin Rummy with Joyce and Giles. He was just getting ready to start pacing, loudly and insistently, when the back door opened and Buffy stepped out and sat next to him. She held her hand out and, after cocking an eyebrow, Spike passed the cigarette to her. “Ya smoke, Summers?”

“Not usually.” Buffy took a drag and sighed, looking up at the night sky, “Look, I know you and I don’t get along well-”

“Thought ya hated me?” Spike took the cigarette back then offered her the pack which she took, tapping one out and borrowing his lighter, “Or is that yer version’a flirtin’?”

“I don’t care for you,” Buffy admitted, handing the pack and lighter back, “But you’re . . . not terrible. Look, there’s a reason I’m here, okay? Anya wanted me to tell you that she doesn’t really like you hanging around Xander and-”

“Who the fuck does she think she is? The bloody queen?” Spike snapped, “She can’ stop me from seein’ my pal!”

Buffy held up a hand, “Look, I know, alright, I’m on your side.” She smoked for a second while Spike fumed, “That’s what she told me to tell you.”

“Bitch couldn’ be bothered ta tell me herself, huh?” Spike glared at the ground.

“Well . . . okay so she said she would be willing to ‘negotiate’ with you at school and-”

Spike stood up angrily, “ _ Negotiate _ ? I’ll ask again, who does she think she is? He’s my best mate! An’ she doesn’ own him! They’ve been together, wot? Five seconds? Bet she’ll be inviting herself ta Scooby meetings too next-”

“About that-”

“Are ya fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Spike stared incredulously at Buffy then he turned and stormed into the house. Xander was still there given that Giles was his ride home so Anya was also there apparently. They were sitting on the couch canoodling when Spike stomped in, he pointed an indignant finger at Anya, “Just who the actual  _ fuck  _ d’ya think ya are?”

Anya blinked, “What?”

“Don’ you ‘wot’ me, ya bint,” Spike snapped, “Ya think ya can fuckin’ horn in on who Xan hangs ‘round with? I got a right ta hang out with m’pal if I bloody well want!”

Xander blinked in confusion, “What’s going on?”

Anya stood up, glaring at Spike, “I’m his girlfriend, I should be allowed to spend time with Xander!”

“That why ya invited yerself ta the Scoobies?” Spike snapped, “An’ fuck ya, I’ll be ‘round Xander as much as I bloody well want!”

“What’s going on in here?” Angel was standing there with Joyce and Giles at his shoulders, “William, cigarette!”

Spike blinked then looked at his hand, he hadn’t realized he still had a lit cigarette and quickly hurried to put it out in the nearest  _ anything at all _ which unfortunately was a decorative little fountain.

“Spike stormed in here yelling at me!” Anya said loudly, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting.

“Buffy said-” Spike started but was cut short by Buffy appearing at his elbow suddenly.

“Look, this is all just a misunderstanding!” Xander said quickly, then he looked around, “Right?”

“Buffy, you said you would talk to him!” Anya glared at the shorter girl who could only grimace.

“And I told you that was a bad idea to begin with!” Buffy said coming up next to Spike, her arms crossed.

“What is going on here?” Angel demanded again.

All four children started yelling at once until Joyce whistled shrilly and they all winced into silence, she looked around, “One at a time, if you please! Buffy?”

Buffy looked around then sighed, “Anya asked me to tell Spike that she wants to have more time with Xander . . . and for him to have less time with Spike.“

Anya blinked, her arms crossed, “I didn’t say it like that! I said that I wanted to negotiate-”

“Bull!” Spike said loudly.

“William!” Angel snapped, then he looked at Anya, “Anya, I appreciate what you’re saying but Spike and Xander are friends and-”

“If they’re just friends then why is Spike always drooling over  _ my boyfriend _ ?” Anya demanded, "it's more to do with him being gay than them being friends."

Spike and Xander both sputtered and tried to explain then Spike looked down at his boots and he grimaced. Xander swallowed, “Look, we already talked about it and it’s not happening so can we please,  _ please  _ just drop it?”

Giles replaced his glasses after a thorough polishing and frowned, “It would seem to me that it’s time to call it a night.”

“Indeed,” Angel murmured, “I expect you kids to be mature about this and settle this, there’s no reason for Xander and William to not be around each other, there’s no reason for Anya to not join your club, but anymore homophobic comments and there will be  _ several _ . Now, I agree with Rupert, time to go home. William, say thank you to Joyce and goodbye to your friends.”

Spike blinked then huffed, “Thanks, Joyce, I had fun.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” Joyce said, glancing at Buffy who shrugged.

“Bye guys.” Spike half-heartedly waved and followed Angel out to the car and got in.

Angel got in and started the car, he sighed heavily and held his hand out, “Cigarette, please.”

“Everyone smokin’ t’night?” Spike asked but handed over one.

“I’m sorry about Xander.” Angel said, looking at Spike as he lit the cigarette and pulled out of the driveway.

“I’ll get over it, ‘m sure.” Spike mumbled, “So . . . you an’ Giles?”

“No.” Angel said, shaking his head and rolling the window down.

“Huh? Why not?” Spike turned in his seat slightly, frowning in confusion, “Way ya were lookin’ at him an’-”

Angel’s jaw tightened and he shrugged, “I’m not willing to just jump into another relationship yet, Will.” 

Spike blinked then he frowned, “Oh . . . oh ‘m sorry.”

“I don’t expect you to think about these things, Will,” Angel shrugged and sighed, “I just . . . “

“Ya can talk ta me, Dad.” Spike said earnestly, leaning in his seat.

“I shouldn’t unload my problems on my kids,” Angel cocked an eyebrow and tapped his ash out the window, “You-”

“Dad, who else are ya gonna talk ta?” Spike said softly.

“I  _ have  _ friends.” Angel glanced at Spike.

“I know, but they’re not here.” Spike shrugged, “I can be your friend too if ya need one.”

Angel blinked, “You are weirdly invested on my personal problems after what just happened.”

“I need somethin’ else ta think ‘bout,” Spike explained, “I wanna just not think ‘bout Xander an’ my crush an’ his girlfriend fer a bit.”

“ . . . okay,” Angel sighed and was quiet for a minute as he smoked, “I . . . I’m so fucking lonely but I don’t want to try anymore. Being alone hurts but having someone die or walk out is worse . . . I’d rather be alone.”

Spike sat back and sighed, “Does . . . does pinin’ after someone go away after a while?”

“Not really.” Angel shook his head, “You just learn to live with it.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Welcome to being human.” Angel shrugged.

* * *

School was now Spike’s sole distraction from the world as the club and now weekend activities included Anya, but with winter break starting, he was cooped up in the house with nothing but his thoughts and Spike felt the pangs of jealousy and loneliness as the holiday season got closer and for once, Angel was actually in the festive mood.

Spike groaned and picked up his laptop and bag, "if yer gonna hum those stupid bloody carols, couldja at least be in key?" 

Angel cleared his throat and his ears reddened, he put the garland he was unwinding down and cocked an eyebrow, "shouldn't you be packing?"

"Is that why yer in such a good mood? Lookin' forward ta gettin' rid'a me?" Spike asked as he gathered his things and made to go to the other room, "fer yer information, I've been packed fer the last week."

"Gonna be kinda quiet without you here bud." Angel said, "it'll be nice to have Dru maybe for the new year."

Spike stopped in the doorway, he leaned back and watched Angel decorating the fireplace, "What're you gonna do then?"

"Well, I was planning on visiting my friends in LA and maybe seeing if I can get a date for the company ball." Angel stood back to check that things were even.

"Oh. Cool." Spike tapped his fist on his thigh, "so … gonna be shitty flying I'll bet."

"I know you hate flying but it'll be okay." Angel gave him the thumbs up then reached for a box of lights to untangle.

Spike shifted and nodded, going into the kitchen, he was just sitting down when there was a loud knock on the door, “Oi! Dad, door!”

“Can you get it?” Angel called, “Bit tangled up!”

Spike groaned and slogged to the front door as there was another round of knocking, “‘m comin’, hold yer horses!” He threw open the door and the annoyed sneer he’d adopted dropped, “Penn!” 

Penn caught his little brother but not without staggering back a step or two, “Oof! Hey, little brother, good to see you.”

Angel stepped out of the living room, “I wasn’t expecting you for another few hours,” He hurried to shake the strings of lights trailing behind him and gave Penn a hug, “You’re going to spoil the-”

“DADDY!!” A shrill squeal sounded and Angel staggered back and sat down hard with a wild-haired girl in his lap.

"Hehe hello to you too, Princess " Angel hugged Drusilla tightly and then grunted and rebalanced himself when Spike joined his sister, "whoo! You kids are getting heavy!"

Spike gave Dru a squeeze and looked around, "Wot's goin' on then?"

“Well,” a short blonde woman in an expensive-looking white coat over a red and black pantsuit strode in, her long curls were pinned back around her porcelain, doll-like face, “Your father and I decided that we are not fond of the idea of splitting you all apart anymore than the divorce would entail so we will put our differences aside for the holidays and spend them together.”

Spike’s eyes widened and he scrambled to his feet and hurried forward to hug Darla tightly, “Mum!” he pressed his face into her shoulder, he felt her arms settle around him and he breathed in her perfume.

“You’ve gotten taller, I think, William,” Darla kissed his cheek then wiped her lipstick off his cheek, then she glanced over his shoulder, “Drusilla, dear, let your father off the floor before that tacky sweater of his gets dirtier.” She paused, “Unless it’s  _ supposed _ to be that colour?”

Angel snorted as Drusilla untangled herself from him and he stood up, “Differences aside don’t include snide remarks then?”

Penn rolled his eyes, “Christmas, remember?”

“Oh we’re only teasing each other, Penn,” Darla laughed, “I don’t mean anything by it, Father knows that.”

“Bring me anythin’ then?” Spike walked around Penn then frowned, “No?”

“Not  _ on me  _ dummy,” Penn cocked an eyebrow, “C’mon, Darla’s got a half dozen bags to bring in.”

“Oh hush, Penn, it’s not that much.” Darla walked more into the foyer, handing Angel her coat, “My my, what a . . . lovely place.”

“It still needs some work but the crew I hired has been pretty fast so far.” Angel said stiffly, “I wasn’t aware of the damages before.”

“So you didn’t inspect a house you were going to house my son in?” Darla frowned at him.

Everyone held perfectly still, staring between the two for a moment before Angel sighed heavily and tilted his head back, “Can’t be worse than that hovel you had us rent that one summer, do you recall, there was a large hole hidden behind a bookshelf and it rained for a week straight?”

Darla’s eyes narrowed then she smiled slowly, “Bit slower than I remember but it is good to have someone around that isn’t a shrinking violet in the face of verbal sparring. I am being sincere when I say it is good to see you, Angelus.”

Angel nodded slowly, “Shall I show you around the manor or do you want to be nosy on your own?”

Penn slung his arm around Spike’s shoulder and took Dru’s hand, “C’mon before they start tango-ing or fencing or some shit.” 

Drusilla sighed as she skipped along to the car, “Penn, do ya think this is a good place fer Spike? It’s awfully hot here . . . “

“He seems to be doing alright.” Penn shrugged, glancing at Spike.

Spike frowned, “Um, I am right here.” 

“We know.” Drusilla hurried to the rental car and pulled open the back door, she slung a black and purple backpack with a skeleton on it onto her back soon followed by a computer bag that had a pink bat patch sewn to the front, “D’ya like it here, my Spikes?”

“Well enough.” Spike watched Penn open the back hatch then grimaced as there were indeed a lot of bags.

“That’s good!” Dru smiled broadly, a stuffed blue horse under her arm, “Daddy seems ta like it here too.”

Penn grunted as he pulled the strategically arranged suitcases out one at a time, “Half of these are just presents I’ll bet . . . Spoiled, that’s what you two are.”

“So are you.” Spike pointed out, “Dad still pays for yer apartment an’ all that in New York.”

“Yeah but I don’t do jack-all besides go to school.” Penn chuckled, “You two have so many toys and junk, they’ll have to buy a second mansion to house it all!”

There was a moment then they all hugged each other tightly with Penn wrapping his arms around the two younger Aurelius children, Dru kissed Spike and Penn’s cheeks and tucked herself under Penn’s chin, “I missed you idiots so much . . . “

“Same.” Spike mumbled.

“Ditto . . . “ Penn muttered, “New York sucks now.”

“So does London.” Dru murmured.

“Sunnydale ain’ much better wit'out you lot.” Spike mumbled.

“‘M glad you’re _both_ here.” Penn let them go and reached for a pair of suitcases.

Spike hurried to compose himself and reach for one too while Dru shifted her pony and grabbed a duffel bag that was probably hers as it had brightly colored duct tape stripes, “Well at least now I don’ hafta fly!”

“You still scared of flying?” Penn asked over his shoulder.

“I am  _ not  _ scared’a flyin’!” 

* * *

Angel sat back on the couch with Drusilla sitting at his feet scribbling on blank sheet music, Penn was sprawled out on the floor watching the television, Darla was on the other end of the couch and they were all tuning in to the program that was starting when Spike came in from his shower. Darla smiled at him and patting the couch next to her, “Perfect timing, William, come sit with me.”

Spike smiled, pushing some of his damp curls off his forehead and adjusting his glasses as he padded across the room and curled up on the couch next to Darla, tucking himself against her side while the opening credits of some old horror movie came on, “Wot we watchin’?”

“Some dreadful slasher film your sister has insisted we watch.” Darla sighed, stroking her fingers through Spike’s curls.

“It’s a good movie, Mummy!” Drusilla pouted, hugging her stuffed pony, “We can watch the awful popular girls stabbed in a shower!”

Penn snorted, “You got weird taste, Dru.”

“It’s her turn to pick the movie.” Angel said finally.

“That’s right,  _ my  _ turn!” Dru stuck her tongue out at Penn who made a face at her but they both giggled as the credits finished and the movie opened on some school somewhere.

“‘Ve seen this one, isn’ it the groundskeeper who-” Spike leaned over to Dru, tilting his head at her.

“Shh!” Drusilla hissed, fixing him with a withering look.

Spike snickered and sat back, “Woulda gotten away with it too-”

“Spike!” Drusilla snapped, smacking at his legs.

“If it weren’ fer those meddlin' kids-” Spike pulled his legs back.

“Willy  _ stop _ !” Drusilla practically shrieked and reached for him but he hopped up to sit on the back of the couch.

“William, sit down and stop antagonizing your sister!” Darla snapped.

“Drusilla, come sit over here if Will’s being a brat.” Angel chuckled, patting the other side of the couch.

“Yes, Mum.” Spike drawled and sat back down but Drusilla shoved him so she could stretch out with her head on Angel’s chest, “Oi! Knock it off, Dru!”

“You shouldn’ve started things then!” Dru chucked her pony at him only to glare when he grabbed it out of the air and threw it across the room.

“Children, are we watching a movie or not?” Darla said a bit louder but her tone didn’t change, raising the remote in a threatening way, “Because if not, there’s always something on Masterpiece Theatre-”

“No!” Spike and Dru both chorused and immediately sat down just as the movie’s first victim was finding an excuse to leave a party.

“Good!” Darla set the remote back down and picked up an embroidery hoop, her fingers moving swiftly and precisely to make the back leg of a brightly colored bird on a tree branch. She smiled and glanced over at Angel who was also smiling at her over their heads, “That’s better.”

“Much better.” Angel nodded as Drusilla and Spike both curled up between them.

* * *

“So . . . “ Penn stretched back on the bed while Spike and Drusilla were lying on either side of him, “California isn’t so bad.”

“I guess.” Spike said, shrugging.

“You’ve made some friends though, haven’ you, Spikeykins?” Drusilla asked, rolling onto her side to regard the blonde.

“Yeh, ‘ve made some pals . . . joined a bloody book club . . . “ Spike sighed heavily, “Dad’s got me doin’ extra school work since . . . since ‘m b’hind apparently.” Spike sat up, glaring at the far wall, “So stupid . . . “

“It’s your own fault.” Penn pointed out, scooting to the pillows.

“I  _ know  _ that, idjit!” Spike snapped, “‘m callin’ _m’self_ stupid!”

“Don’ get snappy with Penn!” Drusilla snapped back, rolling to kneel, “Let’s talk ‘bout sumthin’ else if the topic gets you so out of sorts.”

Spike huffed, “Sorry . . . “

“S’alright.” Penn said, “You’re smart, you’ll catch up.”

Spike nodded, “Yeah.”

“So,” Penn puffed out his cheeks, “Dad said he wants to have a party here for Christmas. That should be fun.”

“Mum agreed ta that?” Spike blinked in surprise.

“It was her idea, actually.” Penn shrugged, “She wants to see the kind of people you two are getting on with.”

“It’ll be fun, Willy! You can invite all yer likkle friends!” Drusilla giggled and clapped.

Spike smiled a little and shrugged, “Guess it won’ be too awful if Mum came up with the idea. Dad is shite at parties an’ anythin’ ta do with ‘em.”

“Right?” Penn chuckled, “Good ol’ Dad, socially awkward like it’s a sport.”

They all laughed and Drusilla shook her head, covering her mouth with her hands, “Oh you both're  _ terrors! _ Poor Daddy!”

“Tis true tho’!” Spike giggled and sat back, “I missed ya two . . . “

“It's good to have some younger and smaller to pick on, that's for sure.” Penn reached over to ruffle both of their hair, Drusilla giggled and batted his hand away while Spike squawked indignantly and pulled away, scowling.

“It is nice ta be t’gether again!” Dru leaned over and wrapped a thin arm around either of their necks and hugged them tightly.

“Easy on my windpipe there, Dru.” Penn chuckled, “Hey, you got any video games? I’m itching to get my ass kicked at any number of fighting, shooting, and/or unfair advantage party games.”

“Yeh, c’mon, they’re downstairs in the theater room.” Spike hopped up, tugging on Drusilla a bit until his older siblings eventually got off the bed and followed him downstairs.

* * *

Angel swirled the amber coloured alcohol in his snifter as he gazed at Darla from across the span of the fireplace in his personal study while she lit a cigarette, “ . . . Darla.”

“Don’t, I already know, old habits and all that.” She muttered around the paper as she took a drag, her eyes closed.

“That where William got them?” Angel asked as he took a drink.

“Same place he got booze, I’d imagine.” She said with a raised eyebrow, “You used to smoke too.”

“I don’t anymore.”

“You still drink like I remember.” She glanced in the fireplace.

“I thought we were going to put our differences aside for the holidays?” Angel’s voice was low and his eyebrow became a solid line of distrust.

Darla blinked and sighed, “I’m sorry, you’re right . . . “

“Old habits?” Angel sat back in his chair.

Darla hesitated then nodded slowly, “Old habits.”

They were quiet then Angel breathed in through his nose, “Why a party?”

“Socializing is suddenly foreign to you?” Darla snorted, rolling her eyes, “Some of us like to  _ do  _ things for the festive season.”

“In a town you aren’t familiar with and know no one in.” Angel’s eyebrow slowly cocked suspiciously.

“I want to see the kind of people my son is being exposed t-”

“‘Exposed to’? Harsh wording, don’t you think?” Angel snapped.

“Will you  _ please  _ stop trying to find something to fight about?” Darla’s voice rose and she glared at him in tired agitation.

Angel’s mouth snapped shut and he looked at his drink briefly before kicking it back, “Sorry.”

“Hm.” Darla tapped the ash off her cigarette onto a crystal ashtray, she looked at Angel, “I wouldn’t have adopted children with you if I thought you wouldn’t be a capable father, Angelus. Please, for the love of my fucking sanity, stop assuming I’m using every little thing as a test. My wording was poor and I apologize, now can we just be mature adults in a room for five minutes?”

Angel grimaced and sat back, “ . . . I know you aren’t, I’m sorry I . . . I feel like I have failed and . . . “ He looked tiredly at her, “William-”

“Is a teenager, confused and repressing a lot of things that caused him to act out in a very self-destructive manner. He’s out and being open with you  _ now  _ so we can only move forward from this.” Darla said kindly, “You haven’t  _ failed  _ Angel.”

Angel licked his lips and blinked a few times, “ . . . thank you . . . “

Darla nodded then smirked, “It could be a lot worse, you realize, all things considered he’s not a psychopath or deranged, just-”

“Bratty?” Angel chuckled.

“I was going to say ‘closeted’,” Darla shook her head, still smiling, “As for his brattiness, you only have yourself to blame for that-”

“Now hold on a moment,” Angel stood to get another drink, trying to school his features to not give away how relieved he was to just be talking, “I’m more than certain you flew yourself and our daughter all the way to California so William wouldn’t have to fly-”

“It was more for you, actually.”

Angel stopped and blinked at the decanter, he slowly turned and leaned back on the bar, “How’s that?”

Darla flicked her cigarette butt into the fireplace and fixed Angel with an open look, “It’s Christmas, Angelus,” Her voice was soft and kind, patient even, “While yes, I did relish the idea of having both our children with me, I didn’t like the idea of you being alone, in a town you only know a handful of people and even then they probably already had plans so . . . that leaves just you. And you know how you get . . . “

Angel grimaced and looked out the window, “I haven’t been like that in  _ years _ , Darla.”

“And I want to  _ keep  _ it that way.” Darla moved closer, putting a hand on the bar to regard Angel.

Angel brushed his fingers over her hand then stepped back, “I regret a lot of things.”

“So do I.”

“We’re never going to make it work.” Angel said, tipping his glass to his lips again.

“No, and I don’t want you anyway, no offense.” Darla said reaching for a bottle and tumbler.

“None taken,” Angel shrugged, “You’re the last person I want to be with either.”

Darla smiled, “We work so well when all we need to be is distant acquaintances . . . pity.”

“ . . . you want to see your potential replacement, don’t you?” Angel’s eyebrow cocked.

Darla snorted, “Oh please, the last thing I want is picturing you putting any part of your body on another human being.”

Angel laughed, “Now you’re just being mean.”

Darla laughed too, a high, soft noise, “I want you to be with someone who will be kind to you, Angelus Liam Aurelius, that’s all.”

Angel smiled at her, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

There was a beat of silence then Angel shifted his weight, “You brought the red dress didn’t y-”

“Never you mind.”


	7. Fast Start, Quick Brakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Will is discussed, a party is thrown and rules get broken.
> 
> TW/CW: Mentions of past sexual abuse to minor, no details, non-graphic.

Spike came into the kitchen to Darla talking animatedly on her laptop in German, he blinked then grimaced when she locked eyes with him and waved him over, “There he is, William, your uncles are on the call, come say hello!”

The blonde teenager grimaced deeper and made a show of dragging himself over to sling into the chair next to her, “‘Lo, Uncle Luke an’ Uncle Tom.” 

On the screen were two men around Darla’s age, one had short dirty blonde hair and what seemed to be a permanent sneer and the other wavy black hair held back with product and he was drinking amber liquor out of a snifter. The one that was drinking was Tom, he chuckled, “Long time no see, Willy, still doing the ‘punk thing’, yeh?”

Luke, the blonde, gave his younger brother a nudge, then looked at Spike, “Hope you like the presents we got you.”

“Ya got me sumthin’?” Spike asked in mild surprise, Luke and Tom were snooty, stuck-up assholes most of the time that didn’t seem overly fond of any of Angel’s children.

“Of course they did, William.” Darla said, giving him a reproachful look, “Anyway, Luke, is Father there?”

Thomas shifted his shoulders, “He’s here, sent Number Eight to go pick up Collin so-”

“Thomas,” Darla hissed, glancing sideways at Spike, “I do wish you wouldn’t call Murielle that, she’s not . . . completely . . . well . . . “

Spike sat back and had to fight a snort, Murielle was Heinrich’s most recent wife, the rich old bastard got a new one every decade or so and Collin was the product of this most recent marriage . . . an eight year-old spoiled brat.

“She’s a dumb, annoying bitch.” Tom muttered, tipping back his drink and going to get another while Luke rolled his eyes, “What? You think so too.”

“That’s not the  _ point _ .” Luke muttered, glaring at his brother, then he turned to Darla, glancing at Spike pointedly who made a big show of getting up and going to the fridge, but they started talking in German again . . . as if he couldn't understand them, “[I was serious before, Dar, the old fucker’s balls still work and he keeps getting new wives every few years, it’s getting out of control! We need to do something, he won’t listen to either of us.]”

“[What exactly do you expect me to  **do ** about that, Luke?]” Darla muttered, “[Get Father fixed?]”

Spike choked around the orange juice container he was tipping to his lips and had to fight to not give himself away.

He heard Tom laughed, “[Don’t be stupid, it’s just that he actually listens to you . . . sometimes.]”

“[Oh, and what do I say, Tommy? ‘Dad, don’t you think it’s time for a vasectomy?]” Darla glanced at Spike with a raised eyebrow as he almost had to sit on the floor with a fist pressed to his mouth.

“[Darla,]” Luke snapped, “[At the rate Father is going, what will be left for us?]”

Darla was quiet, her head tilted to the side, “[Well, I don’t know, Luke, I don’t know what exactly  _ you  _ two are going to do but as for myself, I believe I still have some of the most successful hotels in the Northern Hemisphere and a few best selling novels under my belt. My inheritance is going entirely to my children who are in turn being very well taken care of by-]”

“[By a mopey asshole with erectile dysfunction.]” Thomas muttered from somewhere.

Spike’s spine stiffened and he opened his mouth to say something but Darla slammed the flat of her hand on the counter, there was the sound of liquid spilling from the camera and a grunt of surprise, Darla’s eyes were hard and cold, she leaned forward, “[Listen to me right now, you talentless layabouts, you will  _ not  _ speak about the father of my children like-]”

“[Technically they aren’t yours.]” Thomas muttered.

Spike rounded on the computer, reaching for the screen but Darla waved him back and he could see Luke had muted the call and was yelling at Tom, pointing emphatically at both the computer then the door, Tom threw his hands up and stalked out the door. Luke appeared to take a deep breath, smoothed his shirt and turned back to the computer. He turned the sound back on and sat down, “[Dar-]”

“Oh stop it, Luke, William can speak Duetsch fluently.” Darla snapped, “Learn another language if you want to pretend to be superior but I warn you, he can speak about six so you’d better learn Mandrin or something.”

Luke was silent for a moment then he closed his eyes, his jaw working and he breathed out slowly as he opened his eyes, “he’s been like this for a bit now, I think Father is going to cut Tom off and . . . well.”

“And that is my problem, how?” Darla demanded.

“It isn’t!” Luke said quickly, “It isn’t, Dar, I honestly was just calling to say hello and make sure you made it to the states alright. Tom’s family hasn’t been doing very well and they’ve been badgering him, not that my mother has been much better . . . Anyway, Father is being unmanageable and-”

“And you want  _ me  _ to try and ‘manage’ an eighty year-old man? How? I’m his daughter, Luke, not his handler.” Darla propped her chin on her fist then looked up as Penn came in, a towel on his shoulders and sweat drenching the front of his gray shirt and basketball shorts. Penn looked at them curiously but made a beeline for the fridge for a bottled water.

“Yes but you are the only one with children- well,  _ legitimate  _ children-”

“Is this what this is about?” Darla asked, “You want me to use my children as leverage to-”

“To get an old man with a very bad heart to slow down for five seconds before he dies of a heart attack, yeah.” Luke nodded, “He dies now, Murielle gets it all.”

“ _ What _ ?” Darla stood up and Penn frowned, “I don’t understand, Angelus helped write up the will himself, it’s to be split between-”

“Between his three children, Lucas, Thomas, and Darla Aurelius, yes, it  _ did  _ say that.” Luke muttered, “Before Collin was born and . . . Murielle demanded it be rewritten. We didn’t see a problem adding Collin only he didn’t  _ add  _ Collin so much as make Murielle the executor of the estate in the event of Father’s death.”

Darla’s pale skin paled further, she stood up and carried the laptop out, talking rapidly in a language that Spike for once didn’t know and he looked at Penn, “We outta the will then?”

“Seems so.” Penn frowned, “I wasn’t aware they could just  _ do  _ that. I mean, I wasn’t in the will to begin with but still . . . I'm sure Dad's gonna just _love_ that.“

Spike shifted, “‘m not entirely concerned, truth be told, I mean, I don’ care ‘bout money anyways an’ on top’a that, Mum and Dad got loads of dosh so wot d’we have ta worry ‘bout?”

Penn nodded, drinking the rest of the water and throwing it into the recycling bin, “Mhm.”

“Wot’re ya all sweaty fer?” Spike asked, leaning over the breakfast bar.

“Running, done now.” Penn leaned across from him, “So, now that I’ve got you for five seconds, what happened with Xander?”

Spike blinked then looked down, “Dunno, I waited too long ta ask him an’ either he asked her out or she asked him, got different stories but either way, missed my chance.”

“Welp,” Penn grimaced and straightened, “Nothing ventured nothing gained, eh, bud?”

“I guess . . . “ Spike said softly.

“Hey, you’re only fifteen, bud,” Penn patted Spike’s shoulder, “And there’s-”

“Mornin’!” Dru swept in the room wearing an ensemble that appeared to be partially homemade; an over-sized knit black sweater with a red Christmas tree sewn to the front, a set of frilly black skirts, black tights and tall boots, “Willy, I thought since it’s so lovely an’ sunny out, you might like ta take us ‘round the neighborhood?”

Spike blinked then shrugged, “Fine but yer gonna burn alive out there in all that.”

“I’ll leave the sweater then.” Dru plucked a banana out of a fruit bowl and peeled it, “Wanna come with, Penny?”

Penn chuckled, lifting her up onto the counter, “Sure, lemme shower and then we can go.”

Spike watched Penn leave then looked at Dru who was slowly eating the fruit, “M’friends should be out an’ ‘bout too so if ya’ve a mind ta be social-”

“That sounds lovely. But first,” Dru leaned over to the sink to drop the peel in the disposal, her mouth curling into a smile as she turned on the tap then flicked the switch, giggling as the peel shot into the drain then hurriedly turned it all off and flashed her smile on Spike, “You have ta do somethin’ fer me, my Spikes.”

“Wot’s that?” Spike crossed his arms and his eyebrow rose.

“‘Mere.” Dru beckoned to him.

Spike frowned, leaning his head back, “ . . . no.”

“Oh c’mon, Willy, ’m not goin’ ta bite you!” Dru laughed, “Just c’mere!”

Spike grunted and walked over, standing in front of her, “Alright, wot?”

Dru leaned forward, “Turn ‘round.”

“ . . . Dru, if ya wanted help down . . . ” Spike muttered turning around and then yelped and shot forward as something dropped on the back of his neck, something that crawled over his shoulder, “DRU! FUCK YA!” He shrieked and flung the large spider toward the sink then ran out of the kitchen, “MUM! MUM, DRU PUT A SPIDER ON M’NECK!!”

“Oh c’mon Willy!” Dru ran after him, giggling and trying not to split her face in half with a manic smile.

“I AM IN A MEETING! WHAT IS GOING ON OUT HERE?” Angel shouted, leaning out of a room.

“DAD!” Spike ran toward the first parent to respond with Dru right behind him.

“Oh no you don’t!” Angel tried to shut the door, but didn’t manage to get it shut before the two could barrel into it, interrupting his meeting with loud arguments as to who did what until he shoved them back out again.

* * *

“Oh stop poutin’, Will!” Dru giggled as she swung their intertwined hands between them while she spun her parasol a bit.

“Ya put a fuckin’  _ spider  _ on m’neck. And Dad took _yer _side, again!” Spike muttered sullenly, glaring to his right as Penn tried not to laugh.

“It was just a little one!” Dru huffed.

“We’ll get her back, Will, don’t worry about it.” Penn patted Spike’s shoulder, "I haven’t  _ completely  _ lost my touch.”

Spike grumbled but it was actually nice to have Dru and Penn around, even if Dru insisted on using her black parasol and Penn was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a polo looking like a total idiot while Spike’s doc martens clonked on the sidewalk. He’d opted to leave his duster behind but refused to change out of his black skinny jeans. Penn had driven them downtown so Spike thought he could give them as much a tour as he could with how little time he’d actually spent in town.

“Ooh! Wot’s that shop, Willy?” Dru pointed excitedly down the street.

“That’s the Magic Box, ‘s where we’re goin’ actually.” Spike said, “M’pals hang ‘round it so-”

“Hey, Spike!” The door of the shop opened and Willow leaned out, “Oh, um, h-hello.”

Dru’s smiled widened and she slipped her arm into Spike’s, “Ooh, Spikey, is that one’a your likkle friends?”

Spike grimaced at her and wrinkled his nose before smiling and turning to wave to Willow, “Eh, Red, anyone in?”

“Sure, couple of us are.” Willow’s cheeks flushed.

“Cool, Willow, this is Dru an’ Penn, m’sister an’ brother, respectively.” Spike lead the way inside, holding the door for them, “Siblings, this is Willow.”

“Aw, you’re adorable!” Dru giggled, “Wish my hair was such a lovely color! Mummy won’ let me dye m’hair, course neither does the University.”

“O-Oh thank you. It’s, um, naturally grown!” Willow’s ears and cheeks blushed deep red.

Penn smiled, “Nice to meet you, Willow.”

Spike glanced around, he’d not been in the Magic Box yet but it looked about what he thought it would, books everywhere, strange nick-knacks on shelves . . . he glanced at his sister when Dru slipped out of his arm and into Willow’s, asking her a million questions and exclaiming at things she noticed on shelves while Penn stuck close. He was about to ask Willow where the others were when a loud laugh alerted him to the back and there were the Scoobies sitting at a large round table. “Oi, havin’ a meetin’ without me?”

Xander shot to his feet smiling widely and hurried over, “We were just about to call you, actually and- oh, um, hi!”

“Hi, I’m Penn and this is Drusilla, we’re Will’s big brother and sister.” Penn held his hand out and, after a brief confused look, Xander took it and shook, “Dru, eh, we’re saying hi to other people now.”

Dru turned then let go of Willow to rush over and flung her arms around Xander’s neck, “Hello there! Are you Xander? You must be, you're handsome enough!”

“U-Um, yes, I’m Xander-” Xander looked awkwardly around until Spike shoved Dru off, “Nice to meet you both,” Xander rubbed his arm and smiled shyly then jerked his thumb toward the waiting group, “We were just gonna have a meeting if you wanna sit in.”

“Sure!” Dru smiled and dragged Penn and Spike to the back, “Hello! I’m Dru, William’s big sister!”

Buffy snorted into her hand and smiled, “I’m Buffy, this is Tara, Oz, and my boyfriend Riley, and-”

“I’m Anya, Xander’s girlfriend.” Anya said from the counter, “I’m in the group too. I thought you two lived in New York or something?”

Spike frowned deeply then turned to sit down next to Tara as Penn and Dru sat on his other side, he was about to make a clever jab but Dru bounced in her chair and grabbed his arm, “Oh! Willy, why don’ we invite your pals ta Mummy’s party?”

“Party?” Tara asked.

“Mummy?” Oz cocked an eyebrow.

“Willy?” Xander looked at Spike who gave him a dirty look.

“Yes,” Dru nodded at the group, “Mummy is throwin’ a big party ta meet the people that Daddy’s made friends with so you should all come too! It’ll be borin’ with a bunch of adults we don’ know ‘round!”

“I don’t see why not.” Anya said, her eyes wide and excited, “Your family is rich, Xander said, I’ve never been to a rich-person party!”

Spike’s lip curled nastily but was interrupted again as Giles came out of a room in the back with a kettle in one hand and a mug in the other, “Why is it every time I turn around we magic up more children?”

Xander bounced in his seat, “Giles, this is Spike’s sister and brother.”

“How nice, are you two visiting for the holiday?” Giles set the kettle on a trivet and sipped from the steaming mug, “Forgive me, I’m Rupert Giles, owner of this shop and chaperone of the group here. Tea?”

“Thank you, no and yes, Darla thought it would be nice if the first Christmas since they split to have us together.” Penn stood to shake Giles’s hand, “I’m Penn, the oldest Aurelius, this is Drusilla.”

Dru stood up and curtseyed, holding out her hand to be kissed, she didn’t get a kiss but shook Giles’s offered hand vigorously, “Willy’s told us so much ‘bout his likkle pals! Finally a group I don’ need two hands ta count the felonies on!”

“Alright!” Spike snapped, “Will ya two quit hammin’ it up!”

There was scattered giggles and covered smiles.

* * *

“Watch it!” Penn snapped as Dru rushed past with a garland trailing behind her, “Dru, you’re going to trip someone!”

“Then watch your feet!” Dru giggled, batting her eyelashes prettily at him before slinging the garland over the chandelier in the foyer, “Ooh! Willy, help me get lights up there!”

Spike poked his head through the sweater Darla had thrust into his hands after she realized he only owned clothes in varying shades of black, “Sure, I’ll get the ladder from the garage.”

“Hang on, Will,” Angel called, hurrying over, “I’ll give you a hand, that ladder is heavy.”

“A’ight.” Spike glanced at Angel as they made their way to the garage, the man looked nervous but was holding things together pretty well, “So are Rupes and Miss Joyce comin’?”

“Rupes- You mean Mr. Giles?” Angel’s eyebrow rose and he held the door for Spike.

“S’wot I said, wasn’ it?” Spike smirked, locating the ladder on the wall.

“Alright, brat,” Angel chuckled, “Yes, Rupert and Joyce are both coming, it will be the same people from Halloween.”

“Mum’s got a lot planned apparently.” Spike pointed out as they pulled the ladder down, “She sure does like her parties . . . “

“That she does.” Angel sighed.

“Are . . . “ Spike grimaced as they eased the ladder through the door, “Are you an’ Mum . . . really okay ta be ‘round each other?”

“Yes,” Angel nodded, “We can be mature adults, Will, it’s okay.”

“Ya just seem stressed out, s’all.” Spike mumbled.

Angel set the ladder down and sighed, “Will?”

“Yeah?”

Angel put his hand on the teen’s shoulder, smiling tiredly, “If there’s a day I’m not stressed, it’ll be on my funeral.”

Spike leaned up and hugged the tall man, pressing his face into his father’s shoulder, “S’alright, Da, just pretend ta have a phone call an’ no one will talk ta ya-”

“Alright you!” Angel tried to pry the lanky teen off, snorting, “You are a brat! Get off!”

Spike laughed as he was finally peeled off Angel, “Yeah well ‘m yer brat!”

Angel unfolded the ladder and smirked, reaching over to pat Spike’s shoulder, “Til the grave an’ stress take me, boy, aye.”

* * *

“Whoa!” Dawn’s mouth hung open and she smiled widely, “your house is SO COOL!”

“Dawn, don’t yell!” Joyce hissed and stepped up, holding a few small packages out to Angel, “Your home is beautiful Angel.”

“Only a third as beautiful as you.” Angel murmured, smiling at her, “Is Rupert-”

“Right here, Angelus.” Rupert cocked an eyebrow, smiling slightly, “Charming decor.” He pointed to the garland and lights dripping off the Chandelier, “Which of your brood was it that came up with that idea?”

“I’ll give you each a guess.” Angel moved closer, setting the packages aside as the children ran into the other room where loud talking and soft music could be heard.

“Well, Penn is too mild-mannered for such things.” Joyce stepped up and adjusted Angel’s collar, smoothing his shirt over his chest.

“And William isn’t much for decorations.” Rupert said, stepping up behind Angel.

“Well, I only have three kids.” Angel said softly, leaning back into Rupert.

“Drusilla it is then,” Joyce smiled, “Such a charming girl, so free-spirited, like a bird.”

Angel bit his lip, his eyes softly closed, “I’m so glad you’re both here . . . “

“We would have come sooner but-”

Angel snapped away from them as the click of heels came toward them and Darla appeared wearing a red evening gown, gold and ruby earrings and a wide gold bangle, a gold chain with a snowflake pendant covered in small diamonds hung around her slender neck, “Oh, there you are, Angelus-”

Spike sat back against the doorway, he’d just seen his father being . . . well . . . with Giles . . . and Joyce . . . Spike swallowed, “Both . . . ?” And they seemed alright with it, the teen shrugged but found breathing a bit difficult, he needed some air . . . and a cigarette.

* * *

Spike slipped out the backdoor, wrapping his coat around him as the wind picked up, he ran around to the front so he’d be out of the wind. He was just lifting his lighter to try and light his cigarette when he caught sight of something at the end of the driveway . . . or someone.

Coming closer, the someone could be recognized as Xander harris, he was sitting at the end of the driveway, hugging his knees and not wearing a jacket or sweater, his eyes puffy and red, dirt smeared on his face and a bruise on his arm.

Spike blinked and slowly approached, “ . . . Xan?”

“I-” Xander took a breath, “I . . . I told her . . . and she . . . I thought I could trust her . . . she  _ told  _ her friends . . . “

“Who told what?” Spike slowly squatted down, glancing up as rainclouds were gathering.

Xander whimpered, looking up at Spike with wide eyes, “ . . . that I was molested. By my uncle. She told a friend of hers . . . my dad . . . heard a-about it . . . that I told.“

Spike stood up, “Come on.”

Xander got shakily to his feet and started crying, he collapsed into Spike and sobbed, “He-He broke something- Spike- Ow!”

Spike gently pressed on Xander’s side, “ . . . that’s . . . that’s cracked, Xanny, love . . . We have ta tell-”

“No!” Xander backed up, becoming hysterical, “N-No! You can’t tell  _ anyone  _ ever! Do you understand? Never!”

Spike’s lip shook and he swallowed, raindrops starting to fall, “But- . . . Xan . . . “

“Promise me! Promise me right now that you won’t tell anyone!” Xander shouted, pointing at Spike, wincing slightly as his side twinged, tears welling up in his eyes, “I’ll be your boyfriend and do all that stuff with you- . . . just . . . just please don’t . . . “ Xander sobbed, shaking his head, “Don’t . . .  _ please _ . . . “

Spike started crying too, rain dripping down his face, “I-I don’ want ya ta just date me to keep me qui-”

Xander lurched forward and pulled Spike in by the collar of his jacket and kissed him, his eyes squeezed shut and he held on tightly.

Spike’s eyes widened then he moved in, putting his arms around Xander and holding him while they kissed. He felt Xander trying to get in his mouth so he let him, Spike found himself holding Xander’s face in his hands and then they were running up to the house together, hands linked.

* * *

Xander trembled as Spike closed the bathroom door behind them after they snuck into the house to one of the bathrooms, he turned on the hot water and moved to Xander, he wasn’t as wet as the brunette thanks to his coat so he set about helping Xander out of his shirt, “Do ya want me ta turn ‘round or-”

“No.” Xander said softly, “I’ve seen you naked. Gym, remember?”

“Well, yeh but-” Spike stood up, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s fine.” Xander undid his pants and pushed the wet material down, “Look at me.”

Spike slowly did and bit his lip, there was a nasty array of bruises on Xander’s side, hip and thigh on the right side but Spike’s eyes dropped and he swallowed, “This . . . this isn’t a good idea, Xan, m’dad has the same rules fer me an’ boys like fer Dru an’ boys . . . “

“Just come warm up with me.” Xander coaxed, he moved closer, putting his forehead on Spike’s shoulder, a hand reaching up to stroke the wet strands of blonde hair that were tacky with product, “You need to wash your hair anyway.”

Spike was shaking and painfully hard, not surprised at all when he also felt Xander pressing insistently into his leg, the blonde slowly pulled his shirt over his head and reached for his belt while he toed off his socks, “O-Okay.” His hands shook as he peeled down his jeans and stood naked and terrified.

Xander stepped closer and took Spike’s hand, “C’mon Spike.”

Spike dumbly followed Xander under the stream, he let Xander wash his hair out then he flinched when fingers reached between his legs, “W-Watch it . . . “

“Sorry I just- I’ve never been with another boy.” Xander quickly backed off, “Sorry, that wasn’t cool, are you okay?”

Spike cleared his throat and shrugged, “I-I’m alright, no big deal.”

Xander grimaced, “Will . . . “

Spike’s spine stiffened and he swallowed, “Sorry, I don’ mean ta . . . I just . . . this is new fer me too. Virgin, remember?”

“I’ll be gentle, when you’re ready.” Xander said quickly, “Got a little carried away . . . You’re just-“

Spike shifted around then frowned at the look on Xander’s face, “Uh, wot?”

“I completely forgot you aren’t circumcised.” Xander shrugged, his cheeks pinking, “It’s . . . kinda hot.”

Spike blushed deeply but brushed aside the idea of covering himself, he . . . he wanted Xander to like him . . . “Thanks . . . “

“Is it . . . different?” Xander asked curiously, shifting a bit closer.

“I . . . dunno?” Spike shifted back against the shower wall as Xander moved in, “Only penis I’ve ever, er, had.”

Xander nodded and went back step out of the shower, reaching for a towel, “Well, it’s nice.”

“Thanks.” Spike rinsed his hair out and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his own waist and they quickly tip-toed to Spike’s room where they discarded the towels in the hamper and just stood in the room staring at each other, “I . . . I am  _ so  _ horny.”

“Me too.” Xander said.

They almost tripped over themselves to the bed, Xander reached for Spike’s groin, rubbing his hairless balls while Spike had his arms around Xander’s neck, he was shaking as nerves made it difficult to concentrate.

“Uh, X-Xander, are you a t-top or-”

“Yes.” Xander murmured, kissing Spike’s neck again, “We don’t have to have sex, Spike, I just want to touch you . . . “

Spike whined and arched, relief flooding him, “Th-Thanks, I- . . . ’m not ready f-fer that yet. S-Sorry-”

“Don’t apologize.” Xander murmured then pulled Spike under him and settled with their cocks pressing together.

Both teens arched and moaned softly.

* * *

“Dru,” Angel grabbed the girl as she was passing with Willow and Tara, “Sweetheart, have you seen your brother?”

“Which one?” Dru tilted her head to the side and smiled, “Penn is over there talking with Mr. Giles.”

“And the other one?” Angel frowned.

“I saw him coming in from having a smoke about a half hour ago.” Drusilla frowned in an imitation of Angel.

“Ah, I’ll bet I know where he’s hiding, thanks princess.” He turned toward the stairs, “I told him he had to at least spend  _ some  _ time at the party . . . Teenagers!”

* * *

Spike wrapped his legs around Xander’s waist and thrust up against him, “Oh  _ fuck _ ! Xan-”

Xander bit his lip and frotted with Spike, his eyes squeezed shut tight, “I-I shoulda a-asked you t-to the dance-”

“I shoulda asked ya,” Spike shook his head, gripping Xander’s shoulders, his cock swelled almost painfully, he wasn’t going to last, already he could feel the pressure building at the base of his penis, “I-I was gonna- chickened out- s-s-sorry, Xan-”

“Well, I’m here now.” Xander bent his head and kissed Spike on the lips.

Spike arched into the kiss, his balls were starting to get tight, he whined and broke the kiss, “Oh  _ ffffuck _ -”

* * *

Angel walked down the hall and sure enough, Spike’s door was closed, “Dang it, kid, just one night- Not like I asked him to-” He took a slow breath, closing his eyes, “Angelus Liam Aurelius, it is Christmas, the kid’s been through a lot and he’s doing better, now is  _ not  _ the time. Just ask him to join the party. If he’s not up to it, then fine.” He opened his eyes and nodded to himself before reaching for the doorknob.

* * *

“F-Fuck! X-Xan-” Spike’s thighs squeezed, his cockhead throbbed and his mouth was opening in a moan when the door opened, Spike cried out, ejaculating on his stomach just as his eyes locked on the shocked ones of his father, “D-Dad!”

Xander came a second later, his own eyes wide and he worked his mouth as he panted and tried to think of what to say.

Angel blinked and closed his mouth after a second in complete shock, “ . . . clean up, get dressed. Xander, you’re to go wait in the hall. I need to have a talk with my son.” Then he turned and exited the room., closing the door softly behind him, there were no retreating footsteps.

“I . . . I am so dead.” Spike whispered.

They hurriedly cleaned themselves and tugged on anything that fit before standing by the bed. Xander, dressed in Penn’s sweater and a pair of Spike’s looser sweatpants, bit his lip then slowly moved to the door. Spike sat down on the bed as the door opened and Xander left with one last look over his shoulder before the doorway was taken up by Angel. He told Xander to wait outside the door and closed it behind him just as a flash of lightning lit the sky outside. 

Spike’s whole body clenched and he couldn’t make eye contact, his mouth and lips were incredibly dry, “I-”

“William,” Angel’s voice was soft and tight, the muscles in his jaws twitching with the level of restraint he was exercising, “I’m not going to yell . . . What are the rules in this house?”

Spike clenched his hands in the mattress, still looking at his bare feet, “ . . . which one-”

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ try to get smart with me, William Bartholemew Aurelius!” Angel actually shouted, then his voice became tight and soft again, “You know what fucking rules I’m talking about!”

Spike flinched and licked his dry lips, “Th-That ‘m n-not ta have boys in my room with the door shut.”

“What else?”

“O-Or in bed with me. Cl-Clothes and hands are ta-ta stay where they belong-”

“And?”

“And ‘m not ta . . . “ Spike’s face flushed when the very fresh memory of what Angel saw flashed behind his closed eyelids, “Dad-”

“ _ What are my rules, _ William?” Angel’s tone was sharp like Darla’s could get.

“If I . . . If I do engage in s-sexual things . . . use a condom.” Spike bit his lip as his whole body felt like it was scarlet with embarrassment.

“There’s another rule in there I think, can you remember it?”

“That ‘m not ta engage in . . . in s-sexual things until ‘m l-legal age.”

“Which is?”

“ . . . eighteen.”

“And how old are you?”

“ . . . almost sixteen-”

“You are _fifteen_,” Angel snapped, “You are only fifteen years old, William, those rules are supposed to protect you! I know you’re a teenager and you guys are horny, fine, great, glad to know you’re a healthy, puberty-addled boy! And now I know everything works, thanks for that!”

Spike’s stomach clenched, he felt sick, “‘m sorry-”

“I’m sure I know why,” Angel’s voice was quiet, “Look at me, William.”

Spike had to practically pry his chin off his chest to make eye contact and when he did, well . . . he started bawling,  _ the look on Angel’s face _ , “I-I just- I w-wanted-”

“Now,” Angel’s disappointed frown was unmoved by the teen’s tears, arms crossed imposingly, “What do you think I should do about this?”

Spike covered his face, curling in on himself, “I l-like h-him, Dad-”

“I know you do,” Angel said, his tone softening, “I’m not going to say you can’t see Xander, Will, but you’ve broken almost every rule I had, and I thought they weren’t  _ that  _ bad!”

“Well . . . “ Spike put his hands on his knees and snuffled, pushing some of his curls off his forehead, “ . . . wouldn’a broken the big one . . . too chicken shit . . . “

“He is or you are?”

“I am . . . “ Spike said softly, rubbing his arm, “ . . . couldn’.”

“You shouldn’t,” Angel moved and sat on the bed a bit from Spike, “You’re not mature enough for that. Honestly surprised you’re the one not being pushy.”

Spike looked at Angel, “ . . . why?”

“Because your rebel-without-a-cause persona leads me to make a few preconceived ideas about your promiscuity,” Angel said, looking back at him, “But it’s okay not to be ready, you’re a child, William.”

Spike would normally argue that point but at the moment he felt . . .  _ very young _ , “Yer right.”

“Mhm, so what do you think I should do about this?”

“I . . . I should be punished.” Spike mumbled, wiping his nose on the back of his hand.

“Yeah . . . alright, tell ya what, we keep this between us until after the party then you, your mother and I are going to have a sit-down.” Angel put a hand on Spike’s shoulder, “Do we have a deal?”

“Yes, sir.” Spike lowered his gaze.

“Alright . . . Are you . . . okay?” Angel asked softly, his eyes searching his son’s face.

Spike blinked, “Y-Yeah, just . . . embarrassed . . . “

“I mean, what was happening . . . you  _ wanted  _ it, right?” Angel asked, his own face betraying his discomfort, “You consented, right?”

Spike blinked again then nodded, “Y-Yes, I . . . yes.” 

Angel breathed out, “Okay . . . “ he got up and told Xander to come in.

The brunette’s head was down, his hair was unkempt and he’d twisted the hem of his shirt, he snuffled and slowly looked up, “Y-You’re not gonna tell my p-parents, are you?”

Angel looked the trembling teen over and shook his head, “I think that’s up to you to tell them that sort of thing. I will, however, say that there are rules in this house that  _ will  _ be followed if you want to date my son.”

“Y-Yes, sir.” Xander nodded enthusiastically, wiping his tear stained face on his sleeve.

“That door,” Angel pointed at Spike’s door, “Stays open when you’re here, clothes stay on, and hands keep to themselves. I can’t dictate what you two do outside of this house, so if you  _ do  _ choose to . . . “ Angel sighed, “If you do choose to have sex, there will be condoms worn and you  _ will  _ make sure you both give consent to what’s happening. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.” They both said softly, red-faced and avoided eye contact.

“Good,” Angel looked at Xander and put his hand on his shoulder, “Alexander.”

“Yes?” Xander’s eyes were wide and watery.

Angel glanced at Spike and licked his lips, “Take care of him, alright? I don’t think I need to tell you how sensitive he is, how special, or how much he likes you. You’re a nice boy, Xander, I think I can trust you.” He smoothed his shirt and sighed, “Now, you two need to go downstairs and at least show up to the party, your mother is starting to think you ditched it, William.”

Spike bit his lip and got up, hurrying over to hug Angel tightly around the waist, breathing in his stupid cologne, he didn’t mind when a hand sank into his drying curls and held him close or the other arm that wrapped around him, “Love ya, Da.”

“Love ya too, m’sweet boy.” Angel murmured then he released Spike and headed for the stairs, “Door stays  _ open _ .”

“Got it.” Spike muttered then glanced at Xander, “So . . . “

“So.” Xander swallowed.

“We . . . we datin’ then?” Spike asked softly, chipping lacquer off his left thumb nail and worrying his lip ring anxiously.

“I . . . yeah, I think so.” Xander smiled and reached out to take Spike’s hand and pull him close, “I fucking think so.”

Spike looked up at the taller boy and smirked, “ _ Gay _ .”

“You’re gay, I’m bi.” Xander laughed then bent hsi head and kissed Spike.

Spike’s eyes slid closed and he leaned into the kiss, pressing against Xander.

"OW!" Xander backed up, hissing in pain.

"Oh, shit, yer side, are ya okay, Xan?" Spike stepped back.

"I-It's fine, just . . . just be careful." Xander breathed out slowly.

"Right, um, let's go downstairs, they'll have eaten all the good cookies by now." Spike reached for Xander's hand then pulled it back, shifting his weight.

Xander blinked then reached over and took Spike's hand, "It's okay."

"I didn' know if . . . Okay." Spike smiled, glancing in a mirror in the hall and grimacing, "I need ta do m'hair, hang on-"

"I like it," Xander said, "It's really cute."

Spike blushed and looked away, "Well . . . Not much time so . . . okay . . . "

* * *

There were presents for all the kids that came so they all sat ripping paper off packages with loud exclamations of excitement, Spike leaned back on Xander, there fingers intertwined on the couch between them. The brunette leaned into Spike and sighed, "Too bad we had to come out . . . now they won't let us sleep together . . . "

Spike blushed, remembering the time they _did _sleep in the same bed then he smiled, "I got quiet feet, don' worry 'bout it." He waited until Xander turned to talk to willow to let his smile drop. So . . . Xander _was _being abused . . . Spike fiddled with his lip ring as he thought, Xander begging him not to but . . . but Xander was being . . . His uncle . . . and the bruises . . . Spike glanced at Angel then Xander and the wheels started turning . . . 


End file.
